Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Don’t Want to be That Mom

As we were clamoring out of our van this morning at the library, there was another woman getting her perfectly coiffed boy and girl out of her new SUV.  She was telling them not to step in the puddles and fixing the girls skirt and the boys hair.  She did not look happy.  It was raining and some people don’t have a naturally chipper look so I shrugged it off.


When we got into Storytime she sat along the back wall away from where the kids were. She looked miserable the whole time.  While the other moms and kids were interacting and playing, she sat there and looked annoyed.  When everyone was coloring, she sat and played on her cell phone.  When the kids wanted to get got books, she begrudgingly got her stuff and followed them.


I don’t know this woman and maybe she was just having a bad day.  I do know this:  she has delightful children.  They had a great time listening to stories and rolling the Mother Goose Cube and coloring.  I’m glad she didn’t dampen their experience.  I hope it’s not because that’s how she is all the time. 


I don’t want to be that woman, mom or dad (HT:Kevin!)  A mom who is more worried about outward appearance than experience, a mom that would rather sit and pout than enjoy something fun with the kids, a mom that is cranky and irritated with everything, a mom that takes her kids somewhere fun because it’s the right thing to do.


If I got that from our brief encounter, what do you think her kids are getting from her?  That she’d rather be anywhere else than with them?  That she wants them to look perfect?  That her phone is more important than spending time with them?


I am not usually that mom in public.  I’m too much of a people pleaser to do that!  I found myself striking up a conversation with the young mom next to me.  I can’t help myself and I find it highly  irritating (and the woman may have too!) There are times though that I’m sure people have thought the same of me.  Why did this crabby woman have all these children?


I am however that mom at home, a lot.  I am cranky and wish I was elsewhere.  I stay busy with stuff so I can’t play and interact.  There is stuff that must get done, but FaceBook?  Even though I may be that mom in the privacy on my home, the most important One sees me and so do my kids.  Oh, I don’t want to be that mom. 


Just this afternoon the girls were happily piling all the clothes from their drawers into brown paper bags.  I was less than thrilled.  I had just cleaned up all the clothes.  I told them to put them all back.  They obeyed but their faces were devastated.  I remembered that mom and told them they could play if they helped me clean up later. 


I want to laugh and play with my kids.  I want to make messes with them.  I don’t want to be that mom in the corner feeling put out by having to do something with them.


I’m kind of glad I met that mom today.  It showed me exactly what I don’t want to do.  Next time I feel annoyed or irritated I’m going to remember…THAT Mom!

1 comment:

sharilyn said...

wow. how true. i don't have kids of my own but do have fun with kids of my friends... a good reminder here...