The last blog I wrote was kind of whiny about the neediness of my family and how exhausting and quite frankly annoying that can be. It's been a few weeks now, but one night shortly after I wrote that one phone call made my attitude do a 180. We heard the ambulance go by which is always an unsettling feeling, especially in a small town since the chances are pretty great that you'll know the people involved. 15 minutes later we got a phone call that a 3 year old boy drowned in his backyard pool. We know the grandparents and Mike spent several grueling hours at the hospital with the family and did the funeral.
I was sick to my stomach all night. I really try to avoid dealing with things like this because I don't know how to handle it. We really don't know these people but I am totally devastated for them. But it really made me realize how ridiculous my last entry was because life is so precious! Why does it bother me to have to meet my kids' needs? It should be a privilege. I'm sure that the parents of this boy would love to have another chance to help him get dressed or get him a snack or play his favorite game with him.
It also reminded me of the seriousness of my job. I can easily get lazy about responding to a cry (because there are so many) or not being as attentive as I should be because I am trying to get stuff done or read my magazine in peace. Those moments spent walking behind Maren as she climbs the stairs, watching the kids outside or checking to make sure they are ok occasionally are way more important than anything else I could be doing. But I'm not God or Superman so I can't be in all places at all times and that worries me. In reality, no one is immune from serious accidents or sickness. I've got to continually pray my kids over to Jesus each day, knowing He loves them more than I do and has a perfect plan for their lives.
I really wanted to shield the kids from what was going on, but there was no way around it. When we were talking about the accident that night I had the chance to share with them and remind myself that we trust in a gracious, merciful and loving God. Although I struggle to understand hard things, I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is always there. I believe that God welcomes little children to heaven that weren't old enough to understand or who had never heard of His salvation. I have no theological statement to back that up, but I think scripture points to that. The kids need to grapple with these issues in order for their faith to mature beyond Jesus Loves Me This I Know. In a way, I wish it could stay that simple, but I'm glad that the doors were opened for teaching.
Psalm 145:8
The Lord is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
Nehemiah 9:17
They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore, you did not desert them.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is now slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
P.S. As I'm rewriting this a few weeks later, the other son in that family came to Vacation Bible School and his whole family came to our program and picnic. We hope we can be a light and encouragement to them in the difficult days ahead.
Monday, June 30, 2008
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