Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Holding Loosely

I was happy. I liked my life. We were comfortable. I love my family, my church, my friends and my job. I know everyone in town.   Life is good.

I was happy and I was clinging on to my comfy little corner of the world. All the while God was trying to get my attention.

I found myself holding on to my comfort and living a faith that was in my control. The thing is that most of life is not in our control.

In March my Mom's cancer returned. She had surgery and was given 6-12 months. She lived two weeks.

I had surgery to remove a large ovarian tumor. Two weeks into my recovery, I was on a plane to Colorado to see my mom.

In those times, you can't really second guess what is going on. Life, death, sickness are things we cannot control. So as much as we may hate it, we have to accept the change and look for the new thing God is doing.

In decisions like we have made about moving, it feels harder in some ways. The stakes are not as high as life or death, but we have a choice. We could stay or we could go. That's a harder one for me to swallow in some ways.

And there is no doubt that either way, change is hard. Living life relying fully on Christ is scary. For someone that has been in ministry for 15 years, it seems like a no brainer that I would trust Christ without abandon. If only it were that easy.

As change has made itself known in my life through choice and circumstance, God has shown me that I need to let go of the things that feel secure.

I distantly remembered hearing a quote about holding things loosely. A friend reminded me it was Corrie Ten Boom. I found several variations of this quote in my quick google search. This is from a Charles Swindoll book, Living Above the Level of Mediocrity.

“Chuck, I've learned that we must hold everything loosely, because when I grip it tightly, it hurts when the Father pries my fingers loose and takes it from me!”

So as we begin this new adventure of faith, I am trying to hold all things loosely except Christ. As I let go of things and step toward an uncertain future, I find myself holding on to Christ all the more. Holding on to Him the way I should. Like my life depends on it.

And how uncertain is my future? I guess we don't know what job we will have or how much money we will make or what school the kids will go to, but I know my future is secure.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen in temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18