I was happy. I liked my life. We were comfortable. I love my family, my church, my friends and my job. I
know everyone in town. Life is good.
I was happy and I was clinging on to my
comfy little corner of the world. All the while God was trying to
get my attention.
I found myself holding on to my comfort
and living a faith that was in my control. The thing is that most of
life is not in our control.
In March my Mom's cancer returned. She
had surgery and was given 6-12 months. She lived two weeks.
I had surgery to remove a large ovarian
tumor. Two weeks into my recovery, I was on a plane to Colorado to
see my mom.
In those times, you can't really second
guess what is going on. Life, death, sickness are things we cannot
control. So as much as we may hate it, we have to accept the change
and look for the new thing God is doing.
In decisions like we have made about
moving, it feels harder in some ways. The stakes are not as high as
life or death, but we have a choice. We could stay or we could go.
That's a harder one for me to swallow in some ways.
And there is no doubt that either way,
change is hard. Living life relying fully on Christ is scary. For
someone that has been in ministry for 15 years, it seems like a no
brainer that I would trust Christ without abandon. If only it were
that easy.
As change has made itself known in my
life through choice and circumstance, God has shown me that I need to
let go of the things that feel secure.
I distantly remembered hearing a quote
about holding things loosely. A friend reminded me it was Corrie Ten
Boom. I found several variations of this quote in my quick google
search. This is from a Charles Swindoll book, Living Above the Level
of Mediocrity.
“Chuck, I've learned that we must
hold everything loosely, because when I grip it tightly, it hurts
when the Father pries my fingers loose and takes it from me!”
So as we begin this new adventure of
faith, I am trying to hold all things loosely except Christ. As I
let go of things and step toward an uncertain future, I find myself
holding on to Christ all the more. Holding on to Him the way I
should. Like my life depends on it.
And how uncertain is my future? I
guess we don't know what job we will have or how much money we will
make or what school the kids will go to, but I know my future is
secure.
“So we fix our eyes not on what is
seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen in temporary, but what
is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
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