The Mom I Am

Lately I’ve seen the stark reality of the mom I am.  I am tired, disinterested, stressed, annoyed, even angry.  I am just getting by, ignoring problems and hoping they get better or go away.  I am an activities coordinator, (kind of) a cook, dishwasher, appointment maker and homework helper.  I am a slave driver and nagger.  I am wrapped up in the things I want to do or accomplish in a day.

It hasn’t been a pretty picture.  That is not the mom I want to be.  The mom I want to be is engaged and in tune with the matters of her kids’ lives and hearts.  The mom I want to be does not try to ignore things or get bored of kids’ stories or problems.  The mom I want to be is patient and loving, open and caring.  The mom I want to be discusses the hard issues with love and applies the perfect balance and remedy.  The mom I want to be gives her time freely to her kids.  The mom I want to be prays with and for her kids’ needs and hearts.

The mom I am takes the easy way out at times.  I focus on tasks and activities instead of relationships and emotions.  I half heartedly listen.  I scold when I should comfort.  I just want to get through the day, week, month or year. 

I’m not sure where this great divide came between the mom I am and the mom I want to be.  The truth is the mom I want to be does not and cannot exist left to my own ways.   Left on my own, I will focus on the temporary things that don’t matter.  I will pout about not having enough time.  I will be ruled by my human desires.

For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,  who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.   Philippians 3:18-21

The good news is God is willing to refine me as a mom and as a person.  He is at work in my heart and life and has a plan for the mom HE wants me to be.  Even those ugly moments when I realize I’m doing a lousy job are opportunities for transformation.  A chance to turn to Him and admit I can’t do it.  I need Him. 

That’s my big  problem, I’m using my own vision as a guide instead of His.  He is The Father and if I have any hope of becoming the mom I want to be, my focus needs to be on Him, not myself.  He promises to be faithful to change my heart and make me more like Him.  He is all the things that make up the mom I want to be. 

If I am more like Jesus, I’ll become more engaged because He is relational.  I will encourage and bring hope.  I will be focused on the heart of their needs.  I will deal with the tough issues.  I will take time to listen.  I will spend less time fixing, more time feeling and understanding.  I will be more focused on serving my family than myself.

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.  John 13:14-17

Let’s face it, it’s easier to focus on the tasks, activities and day to day routine than to comfort in disappointment, love in tough times or value each day and opportunity God gives us. 

Inevitably, there are going to be days when the mom I am reappears.  I’m only human.  I’m a sinner saved by grace.  But Jesus is the key to making me into the mom I want to be.  If I allow Him to change me, the mom I am will fade away.

I know five kids and one mediocre mother who will be very, very thankful for that. 

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

  Philippians 3:12-14

Candy Snaps

I found Hershey Hug’s at the store yesterday.  I went into a frenzy and bought a whole bunch because they can be hard to find.  I like to make something with them my kids named Candy Snaps.  A wonderful woman in our church gave me the idea.  She’s in heaven now but it was fun to think of her as I was making them. 

Here’s what you need:

Here’s what you do.  I’m not going to exaggerate and call it a “recipe”.

Line a cookie sheet with waxed paper.  I do that because I hate washing sticky pans.  Lay out the square pretzels.  Unwrap the Hugs and put them on the pretzels. 

This part is a good job for little helpers.

Put them in a low oven.  I did 200 degrees for about 5 minutes.  You might have to experiment a little.

They’ll get soft but keep their shape.  We have a very important rule in my family.  Nothing turns out very good if you don’t drink Diet Coke while waiting for things to come out of the oven.  I’m not a rule breaker.  Neither is my daughter.

Prepare the MnM’s by pouring them in a bowl.  I like to be festive and use the red and green ones.  You know cuz I am so jolly.

Press them on top of each Hug.  When you do, the Hug will scrunch down into a cute little circle.

It’s a good idea to put them in the fridge to harden for a bit.  That can be tricky if your fridge is as neat and organized as mine.

A cute, delicious result. 

That’s my kind of “recipe”!

I was reminded tonight at small group that you can make something similar with rolos and a pecan on top.  Those are super yummy too!