Relentless

Shoot. I did it again. I won the stinkin’ lottery. I don’t even know why I entered. Or why I pay to be tortured.

Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I ran. Or where my running shoes are.

I don’t even like running. For real. Most days when I am out there I wonder what on earth I am doing. It hurts. It’s hard work. It can get boring. It is either blazing hot or wicked cold. Sometimes it’s raining and windy. Many days it feels like torture.

The thing is though that there are also days that are out of this world good. Days where the sun is shining and the breeze is blowing. Days where running is effortless and I feel like I could run for miles.

There are days when I accomplish something that I never thought I could do and I know I’m hooked. And it’s that feeling, as rare as it may be among tough days, that makes running relentless.

So when those half marathon lottery deadlines loom, I can’t keep myself from signing up. I can even hope I won’t get in. But once I start training and am swept into that love/hate relationship of pain and glory I know I’m in the right place.

Running is relentless. It keeps chasing me. Even though at times I loathe it, ignore it or scoff at it. I can’t walk away. Somewhere out on the trail it became part of me. When I'm not running, I know I should be. And deep down, I want to be.

These past few months when I’ve been away from running, I’ve been busy. I started working. We’ve had a bazillion basketball games and kids activities. When I get home from work I have a bunch of laundry waiting for me.

I haven’t had time to read. I haven’t had the desire to write. And every time I go through a period of indifference or stubbornness, God reminds me He is relentless too.

He’s relentless in His love. God will never let go. When I don’t care, he does. When I turn my back, He’s still there with open arms. When I'm not looking to him I know I should be. And deep down I want to be.

He’ll never give up on me. So if we’re messed up, lonely, scared, or broken; His love never fails. It never quits. We all have a place in our hearts that longs for Him.

There’s no lottery or fee for the privilege of that relentless love.