Monday, December 07, 2009

Don’t Be Weary

Today everyone went to school. I ventured out with the little girls to get a few things and get out of the house. Annie decided she wanted to get her haircut. She doesn’t like to comb it. On the spur of the moment, they cut six inches off her hair. It was a little shorter than I wanted, but she loves it. I cried. I thought her long hair was beautiful.

While we were waiting, an old friend of mine came in. She looked fabulous: her hair was coiffed, nails done, matching jewelry and cute, trendy work clothes on a nice thin little body. She has a good job and looks amazing.

Never have I been more painfully aware of my “mommyness” than at that moment. I had on my thrift store jeans and shoes – oh yeah and shirt. I didn’t really have time to do my hair. I was chasing my kid around the store trying to keep her from knocking down shelves of beauty products. I was jealous.

And surprised. That doesn’t happen to me very often anymore. I have grown comfortable with the role God has given me right now. But today it was tough. Just for a few minutes.

The thing is that I know this friend well enough to know that despite her glamorous outward appearance, her life is in shambles. Her marriage is on the brink, she doesn’t live with her kids. She is choosing to walk away from her family to pursue her selfish ways.

As I was herding the girls back to the van I kicked myself. Why on earth did I feel jealous? I know God wants me to be a wife and mom. I know there is nothing more important I could be doing with my days. It doesn’t matter what it looks like on the outside, it’s what is going on inside that counts.

Sometimes these feelings happen a lot and other times it sneaks up on me. Whether you are a mom that has a job or stays home, we are filled with the same guilt and questions and make a lot of sacrifices. Does it happen to you? On the way home I was asking God to remind me about all the important reasons I should choose my family.

I felt a tug in my heart that you might need a reminder now and then too. After all, the world does not seem to care in the least that I choose to pour myself and talents into my kids. No one cares about all I have sacrificed. It doesn’t seem to matter the things I squeeze in my day. Who notices when I get up early to make lunches or stay up late to get the laundry done?

Matthew 10:29-31

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny ? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:39

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

God notices. God cares. He knows every tear we have shed, every hair on our head. He cherishes the time we spend and the sacrifices we make. He is thankful that we are investing in His future kingdom by raising our kids to love him.

Galatians 6:7-10

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers.

Don’t become weary of doing what God has for you. Don’t let yourself be fooled into thinking that you are not making a significant contribution or that you could be doing something more important. If you ever do, like I did today, run straight to Jesus and let Him assure you. His vote is the only one that really counts.

1 Peter 3:4

Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

1 comment:

Kristy said...

Thanks for that. That was so good to read. It was just the other day I had someone respond to me funny when they heard I was going to be a stay-at-home mom, and I was battling with the reality that there will be several people I come across that will look down on me for that decision. And then foolishly I started question it. I have yet to experience the life of a mother and the responsibilities and sacrifices that will entail, but it is something very close to my heart and important for me to be home with my kids and to raise them the way God wants me to. Thanks again :)