The Road Less Stressful

Two paths diverged in Motherhood

and sadly I could not do it all.

I’m just one mom, and there I stood

Looking as far ahead as I could

down the path I thought I should trod

The footprints on that path are many

Offers of fun and activity was plenty

 

Then I carefully looked the other path over

it was overgrown and full of clover

It seemed rather quiet

and much less of a riot

 

There are things on the worn path

that seem so good and might be a blast

But life is moving way too fast

fighting and stress are the bitter aftermath

 

So I had to choose which way to go

I knew I may not ever come back this way

And one Sunday I knew we just  had to choose slow

Offers and activities will come as they may

But sometimes I have to choose to just walk away

 

There are a lot of things that might be fun

But my audience to please is really just One

The joy of peace and quietness

leaves my family in much less of a mess

 

Choosing quiet nights and running less

Even if it’s just once in a while,  it still can bless

I’ll tell this tale someday to come

when my mothering days are done.

 

Two roads diverged in motherhood, and I-

I took the one less stressful.

And that has made all the difference.

 

 

Poorly adapted from The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Isn’t It Great Being A Woman?

When we are born, everyone squeals with glee:  It’s a girl!!  From the moment they put the pink hat on, we are the fashion envy of the world.  Bows, hats, headbands, dresses, ruffles, shoes, the works!  And life is good and sweet, drenched in pink.

We grow into little girls who are confident.  Girls who don’t wonder if they can do anything, they KNOW they can.  Life is full of possibilities.

Then we grow into puberty.  We grow too fast.  We are awkward.  We doubt ourselves.  We develop hips, get hair in weird places, zits appear and we get our first visit from Aunt Flo. 

Our bodies panic.  And so do we.  And we grasp onto our Pamprin and Clearisil and wait for things to get better.

We become young adult women.  We go off to college, start a career, fall in love.  Just as we think those awkward years are behind us and we’ve finally got it together, we get pregnant.  Our stomach triples in size. Along with other body parts.  Heartburn hits after a glass of water or piece of gum.  We spend every morning worshipping at the porcelain throne. We have to wear maternity clothes.  Our careers take a back seat.

Our bodies panic.  So do we.  And we grasp our prenatal vitamins, tums and epidurals and wait for things to change.

Just when we think our bodies might actually get back to almost normal and our lives and careers might regulate,  we hit middle age.  We have an identity crisis.  After we finally got used to being mommy, the kids don’t need us as much. Periods change, bladders and uterus’ fail.  Hair turns gray.  Acne rears its ugly head.  Again.  Really, gray hair and acne at THE SAME TIME?!

So our bodies panic.  So do we.  And we clutch our OB-Gyn’s hand and beg for help.  We clutch our hair dresser’s hand and beg for color.  We grasp our bladder control pills and prescription deodorant and pray for freedom.

I have heard when you are finally upon the golden years and an empty nest, menopause hits.  According to the experts, this can last approximately five minutes to five hundred years.  We have hot flashes, night sweats and periods as regular and predictable as a 13 year old.  We think we’ve finally gone completely nuts.

Our bodies panic.  And so do we.  We clutch our estrogen and head for Florida.

And then we die.

Isn’t being a woman great!?

What God Gives, Part Three

These lessons apply not just in Sunday school but in everything.

Because honestly I find it hard to be excited about a lot of things.  The days and weeks can be drudgery.  Repetitive.  Nothing new.  Except new piles of laundry.  I wonder if I am wasting my life.  Or if there are better things I could be doing.

Normally, I have a different attitude about being a mom.  I am passionate about it and want to do a good job.  It’s just that I get tired. 

I have a semi-willing heart.  What if I pray for God to give me passion and equip me to be a mom, a wife and a Sunday school teacher that can do His work?  It seems like I’m always being asked to do lowly things.  Homemaking, Sunday school, working in the nursery, helping the elderly and mothering kind of feels like the pits.  Maybe going to your job day in and day out is sucking the life out of you.  It just seems like there must be something bigger and more exciting out there. 

But there is joy in doing what God has called us to.  He can use us right where we are at.  And if you are committed to teaching Sunday school or already have kids:  God has called you to those posts.  Just like Judy and Leona who have faithfully taught Sunday school over the years.  Or all the moms who have been faithful to serve the needs of their families.  The pathway to joy and greatness is through humility. 

Desiring God just tweeted this John Piper quote:  “To be humble is to be a servant.  They are not the same.  But humility leads to joyful readiness to do lowly service.” 

God knows that I would never choose humility.  I know it too.  I’m just so prideful.  But as He continually puts me in the position to serve, He’s growing that in me. 

If I want true joy, it won’t come from chasing my dreams or what I think will make me happy.  It will come from laying my dreams down at the foot of the cross and being willing.  Willing to get up in the night with the baby.  Willing to pack lunches in the morning.  Willing to put your own needs on the back burner for your family.  Willing to teach preschoolers one hour a week.

God gives the strength, the joy, the wisdom.  Can I provide a willing heart?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:1-2

As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.  1 Peter 2:4-5

What God Gives, Part Two

I wasn’t too excited about spending Saturday at a Sunday School conference.  Honestly if I could have a whole Saturday to run off by myself there are a few other things I could think of to do.  Or conferences I’d be more passionate about. 

They keynote speaker spoke about what a privilege it is to spread the greatest message to kids.  He explained that we are placed in our ministry for a purpose.  That helped me change my attitude a little. 

I remember a Sunday school teacher I had that had us all memorize Psalm 1.  I was in 4th grade.  I still know it.  The kind of impact we can have with the kids we work with is profound.  And it is a privilege.  It should be about more than obligation.

I went to two preschool breakout sessions.  I unabashedly told the people at my table that I teach preschool because no one else wants to.  And that’s the truth.  It certainly wouldn’t be my first choice.  I’ve always taught it with my own kids hanging off my leg. 

The first session was really informative.  The woman that talked had all sorts of degrees and experience in early childhood.  There was good information.  I left there thinking, “see some people are just gifted for working with kids this age.”

The second session was taught by a woman I have known forever.  She has been the kindergarten Sunday school teacher at the church I grew up at for 23 years.  She has no training.  They asked her to teach kindergarten and she wasn’t so sure.  She thought she’d try it for a year.  And here she is teaching a seminar on it.

She had practical idea on idea and  I was writing as fast as I could.  It was obvious that she loves what she does.  Although she now has a job at a seminary she admitted that when she fills in the occupation part of her income tax form she wants to write “kindergarten Sunday school teacher”. 

I began to feel convicted about my attitude.  God can take our semi-willing hearts and transfer that into passion.  He can give us the skills we need to do the work he has for us.  I have begun praying that he will do that in my life.  That I will consider it a privilege to share God’s word with these precious kids.  That I will be excited.  That I will prepare.  That I will pray.

I was convicted after our last Sunday school meeting where we sat down for five minutes after church to quick dole out tasks that maybe we weren’t giving our best.  That we are just muddling through. 

I don’t think it’s impossible to think that we could take a night to meet and plan and pray.  That we could look ahead expectantly at what we can do to show the kids Jesus in a powerful way. 

 

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on this law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season whose leaf does not wither.  Whatever he does prospers.

Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.  Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.  Psalm 1:1-6

(I tried to type this from memory and the end was a little rusty.  This one is going on the treadmill so I can freshen it up in my mind.)

What God Gives, Part One

Today I went to a Sunday School conference in St. Paul.  It was good in a lot of ways.  I spent time with a friend from church on the way there and back.  We squeezed in some shopping.  We saw my sister.  And I got a really good dose of encouragement for Children’s ministry.

The churches at this conference are big.  Like one million dollar preschool wing expansion big.  Like a bunch of paid staff running children’s programming big.  And big can be very good.  But as I listened to the presenter in the first break out session I began to feel a little discouraged. 

We can’t do that.  We are a small church.  We don’t have those kind of resources.  We don’t have a building.  We don’t have paid children’s staff. 

Isn’t it always easier to focus on what we can’t do and don’t have?  It is for me.  I bemoan the things I don’t have thinking that the answer lies there which usually leads to throwing up my hands and giving up.  When I do that I totally ignore what God IS doing with what we DO have.

We have nine adults teaching the different ages of Sunday School.  We went to a conference and we want to meet and pray.  We have kids.  We have Bibles.  We have creativity.  We can pray.

Does God need more than that?  Of course not.  He can work in any situation, in any place.  In some places He works in grand buildings and some places he works in school commons areas.  And when he works where things may seem a little lacking, we can praise no one but Him.  We cannot praise our staff or our rooms or our craft supply closet.  God gets the glory. 

And as I always do I couldn’t help but apply that lesson to mothering.  How many times do we fall into the trap of thinking, I’d be a better mother if we: had more money, a bigger kitchen, a nicer washing machine, a maid or more compliant kids.  Maybe fewer kids would be easier.  Or if we lived in a warmer climate (I’ve been thinking that one a lot lately!). 

I just know I would do a bang up job if we could just change a few things.  If I could just have it all.  Or at least get what I want.

But none of that matters.  God has placed you and I where we are for a purpose.  We are part of His plan.  Why can’t I use the things He’s provided for me and make it work? Why can’t I love what I do, not what I have?  Why can’t I be creative with the things He’s already given me?   I can’t fall into the trap of believing if things were different they would be better.

The challenges God gives us in ministry and mothering are there for a reason.  His grace is perfect in our frailties.  He wants us to grow.  To rely on Him.  To be at peace.  To give Him the glory. 

I don’t have a big fancy house or a church with a million dollar preschool wing, but I do have Christ.  And although those things might be helpful, that is not the bottom line.  The bottom line is Jesus.  If He’s at the center of our ministry and mothering, it doesn’t matter if we are raising our kids in a barn or teaching Sunday School in a junkyard or …a million dollar preschool wing.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:8b-10