Grown-Up Stuff

I don't have a lot of nice stuff anymore. I pretty much wear the same sweatshirt all the time, my table is stained, my dishes are chipped. I've gone from a coach purse to a sling backpack that was $4.99 and I'm okay with that.

Of all the things that have broken around here, this makes me the most sad.





















I'm not a wine drinker (or a photographer and apparently I need to get some Jet Dry) but I liked having these stem goblets. They were just one nice thing I could drink my Diet Coke or water out of. Even though I bought all four of them at Wal**** for less than five dollars. Sometimes in the midst of the chaos I just like to have one grown-up, fancy thing.

I was very dismayed when I found my last of the four goblets cracked this morning. I almost had a little tear over this. Actually I didn't, but now what am I going to drink out of that's just for me? A flask? Well, actually....





















I bought this aluminum water bottle at ***mart for $4. It's fun, keeps the water cold and makes it easy to transport. I'm not sure how it would do with Diet Coke but I'm trying to kick that habit anyway. Now I have a new thing. It's more me. Not fancy, just functional. And it's now my kids' new water bottle for baseball. The handle has been broken off and it's always dirty or missing.

I'm seriously considering digging out the good (non wal***t) goblets I got for my wedding. I've already broken one of those too and when else am I going to use them? I will do my best to keep them from becoming sand box toys or swords.

Maybe there will still be one of the eleven of those left to toast the empty nest.

Forgiveness

Revival is a word that gets thrown around a lot. It usually brings up images of lots of people, tents and emotion. In reality revival is about whole heartedly coming back to Jesus. Revive Magazine, put out by Life Action Ministries just had a whole issue on forgiveness being the path to revival.

Byron Paulus, Executive Director wrote “Because revival is all about restoring a relationship with Jesus, you cannot experience it in your own heart, family , or church until you learn to forgive - until you are set free from the shackles of bitterness.”

Bitterness and unforgiveness (I'm not sure that's a word) shouldn't be rampant in the church. We should be the ones out there offering love. And it should not be rampant in my own life. Sometimes I like to be angry and hold a grudge - it just feels good. I don't know why, maybe it feels better than to hurt.

What is standing in my way of a thriving relationship with Christ? Could it be unforgiveness and bitterness? Women seem to have a corner on this market. Men are more likely to say what they think, defend themselves and fight it out. Women, on the otherhand, are too relational. We smile and gloss things over on the outside but bottle things up inside and let it simmer in our hearts.

I started to ask God to show my areas in my life where I was bitter. And was I blown away. I have let anger, frustration, disappointment and fear turn into bitterness. I have allowed things to fill my life that breed it. My family possibly suffers the most. When I choose to live in bitterness, I'm not bringing the light of the Lord to the ones I love most.

How can I move away from that? How can I stop it? By forgiving. Forgiving is not letting the person off, it’s handing the situation over to God. And after all God has forgiven in my life it should be my desire to forgive others, even if it isn't easy.

I was noticing a phrase repeated several times in Job and Samuel. Both Hannah and Job prayed to God out of "bitterness of soul".

1 Samuel 1:10

In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD.

Job 7:11
"Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

Job 10:1
"I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.

Job 27:2
"As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made me taste bitterness of soul,

They didn't deny that their hurt and pain exist. They cried out to God in the midst of it. And that is where I fall down. I want to keep it or pretend it doesn't exist. But God wants me to cry out to Him and allow him to change me. I love that about God. Well, I love everything about God.

Ephesians 4:31-32
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Unfortunately, the bitterness in my heart usually comes out of my mouth. I say things that do not build others up or benefit those who listen. And that makes me sad, but it grieves God. I don't need to continue to let it stand in the way of a growing relationship with Christ. He is willing to forgive and He can change me. Then his love, compassion, grace and forgiveness can overflow into my family and others that come into my life.


Acts 8:23
For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.

Psalm 103:11-12
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

It's The Heart

I had heard a lot about the Miss USA response to gay marriage and finally read a bunch of stuff about it myself. You know the story, the beautiful California girl that said she thought marriage should be between a man and a woman. I know when you stand up for what you believe you can expect attack. And attacked she has been, but to me, this isn’t about gay marriage.

We’ve got bigger problems. The photos that are being dug up of her are not God-honoring. Even if it was just like a "wardrobe malfunction", she should never have been dressed like that to begin with. She actually sat on a couch with Donald Trump and let him say he thought those pictures were beautiful. Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman, but we are also supposed to save those intimate features for our spouses eyes alone.

We all make mistakes and there’s forgiveness, but she is justifying it instead of repenting of it. She said that it’s just a part of modeling to wear swimsuits and lingerie in photos. I argue that if you are a Christian, you do not.

Now all the right wing groups are jumping on the bandwagon because she said one thing they agree with and all the other issues are in the background. I’d like to hear a Christian radio commentator ask her about her commitment to following the promptings of Christ while being photographed half-dressed on a cliff.

And this begs the question, Is it Godly to spend your whole life pursuing outward beauty? Entering contests for people to judge you, having surgery and parading around in a bikini and high heels in front of people?

I used to like watching pageants. I couldn’t understand why Mike didn’t like them. He explained that they are basically pre-pornography to men. Watching women dressed like that just leads to wanting to see more. It takes your mind into places it should not go. He doesn’t want to see that and does not want our son to either. And neither do I now that I think about it.

Why do we think this is okay in our society? Pornography is rampant. It’s easier and cheaper to get than ever. Most people condemn it. But this is okay? To have 50 young girls parading around half-dressed on national television. I beg to differ.

I don’t want my daughters to get caught in the trap that being beautiful on the outside is the most important thing. We can strive to look nice for sure, but I don’t want them to compare themselves to women and their fake, surgically altered looks. We are created in God’s image to serve Him.

1 Peter 3:3-4
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

And I don’t want my God dragged into this kind of ugly controversy. It is opening up the door for people to mock God and his ways.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.

I'm sure there are differing opinions on this, so feel free to let me know your disagreements and thoughts!

Wayward Child

The other night while half of the family was at baseball, the other half of us took a walk and bike ride. We biked to the playground at school and played for a while with all the other people who were waiting for their baseball players.

On our way home we took the "main road". I usually don't mind if the older kids go ahead of me a little. They know to stop and wait at the intersections. That night my daughter did not stop. I was calling to her and running after her as fast as I could while pulling Annie on her bike and pushing Maren in the stroller (so...not very fast).

She has been known to pretend she doesn't hear us and just keep on going down the path to disobedience. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't leave Annie behind. And it was useless to keep calling; she was too far ahead to hear now. Eventually I couldn't see her anymore.

As I got close to our house, I could see her sitting on the porch. I was STEAMED! She knows better and I had a pretty good notion that she heard me calling her. Maren and I took a slow walk down the driveway since she likes to get out and push the stroller which gave me some much needed time to calm down and regroup.

After spending some time in her room, we had a little chat. She admitted she did hear me. I explained to her that it was a reckless and dangerous thing to do. She's too young to have enough judgment to ride by herself on a busy road. Most of all, it hurts me when she doesn't obey.

I regret that I am also a wayward child. Though I know what my Father desires and hear Him calling, I often choose to keep going down my own rebellious and dangerous path. I choose not to turn back to the safety of his arms because I think my way is better. It's a cheap freedom.

Maybe now I have the ability to see it from God's view. He desires to keep me safe and He loves me; that's why He calls out to us.

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand."
John 10:27-28

I have seen in a new way all the times I have hurt my heavenly Father by running on ahead. I do not want to hurt the One who loves me so much He gave his life for me. But I do and it's miserable.

I am beyond thankful that I have a forgiving and compassionate Father. When I turn away from my rebellion, He is there with open arms.

It's easy for me to miss the restoration part of discipline. Sometimes I want to just give out a punishment and let them know they messed up. But that's not the point. I want to offer my kids my earthly version of Christ's love and forgiveness through which they can see Him.



Exodus 34:6-7
And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming
"The Lord, The Lord, the compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness,
maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.
Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished;
he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers
to the third and fourth generation."

Not Me!

I sadly have a lot more things to unconfess this week.

I did not hang off the side of the dump trailer to give it “enough weight” to go back down.

I did not have to leave my children’s Grandparent’s Day program because Maren’s diaper leaked all over her and me. When I got out to the van, I did not realize that I had no extra diapers along because I have five kids and would think of that. Then I did not realize that Mike had the keys to the van and take her back into the program bare-bottomed under her dress. I'm now very thankful that they dim the lights during those productions!

I did not bribe a child with a sucker to get their haircut and then let her win by leaving still long-haired- with the sucker in her mouth.

I did not get all mushy over feeding a friend’s baby. She is not scrumptious and I don’t at all miss babies. After all, isn’t five enough?

I did not get to church to find another diaper problem and again realize that I had no diapers. I did not have to run home during Sunday School opening to get her changed and hurry back in time to teach my lesson.

I did not tell my oldest to let Dad know I was taking Maren home from church to take care of the diaper issue. Mike did not call frantically looking for her. That would never happen here.

I did not hear my daughter yell, “She Hates Me!”. She is not very dramatic and does not take after her mother.

I did not tell someone to wear “decent” clothes to their school concert. We always dress appropriately in this family and never wear our older brother’s hand-me-down sweats with holes in them.

I did not lay down for a few minutes to get Maren to sleep and wake up two hours later. I need to use my time wisely and would never squander away a few hours like that!

Thanks, Dr. Not Me! You can see what other people have not been doing on mycharmingkids.net.