Imagine you have a very demanding job. It requires you to work 18 hours a day, 7 days a week and often interrupts you in the middle of the night. There are no vacations, personal days, paid time off and absolulely no sick days. It is such a big and important task that it takes all of your mental and physical energy. It is all you think about.
Then imagine your boss comes to you and says he is doubling your work load. THAT'S how it felt when I had my second baby! How on earth am I supposed to take care of this infant when I'm already totally consumed with caring for Grant? He seemed to take up all my time and energy already. Plus, we loved him so much I didn't know how another baby would fit in.
I've always thought going from one to two kids was the toughest transition. All of a sudden the center of your universe splits in two. It feels like you are straddling the Grand Canyon.
I remember two really distince experiences right after we brought Jenna home from the hospital. One was sitting up at 2:00 a.m. with Jenna and Mike was on the couch with Grant. They were both wide awake (the kids that is) and we were looking at each other like what did we get ourselves into?
The other one is that we got new carpet when she was 5 days old. So I took both kids out to get some pictures developed and walk through a store to kill time. It was a totally horrifying thought to be out with the two of them by myself.
So, what's the secret to survival? Get a nanny. No, just kidding! It is a challenge but I think it taught me a lot. One of the big things was that I thought it would be a negative thing for Grant having someone taking my attention off him. It was totally the opposite. It was great because it taught him patience to wait at times until I finished with the baby, it taught him love and compassion for someone else, it taught him that he was NOT the most important person in the universe and it gave him a playmate which he still greatly enjoys to this day!
Most days I was totally overwhelmed. Trying to meet both of their needs, trying to get them to nap at the same time (ok that one was selfish), saving up money and clipping coupons for diapers and still doing all the other things I needed to do around the house was not an easy task. They were tough days in a lot of ways, but I look back and think about how sweet they were too. They are starting first and second grade next week and it seems like just yesterday I was pushing them in the double stroller.
Hang in there! I'm amazed at how he used these experiences to not only mold me in patience and humility, but also Grant. He's at work in our lives!
Psalm 138:8
"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever -
do not abandon the works of your hands."
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Investment Dividends
I have no idea what that means! If the stock market goes down, it doesn't affect me at all. I just thought it sounded really professional and you might think this stuff was actually worth reading! So I looked up the meaning of "dividend" and it is a share of surplus allocated to a policy holder or a resultant return or reward.
In order to get the reward, however, you must invest. Investment demands sacrifice. You make do with less now, for the purpose of having more or enough in the future.
We have not made any financial investments (except the minimum that is required by Mike's job - and if we think we are going to live off that we are in trouble!)
But I've realized that although there isn't a lot of extra cash flow right now to invest, there ARE investments I must make. They will also involve sacrifice.
My grandparents came to visit us last weekend. My Grandpa will be 90 in January and my Grandma is in her late 80's. They still live an active life, they drove themselves here - a 4 hour drive. But they are great examples to me of investing. Grandpa is a World War II veteran and after that he farmed. They had good times, but also hard times including a lot of health problems and the loss of a baby. But they didn't take that as a reason to become bitter or ingrown and pity themselves. They are people that live their lives for God and for others. Always thoughtful, hospitable, loving and generous. Passing on the love of Jesus to everyone they meet. They drive their friends to their doctor appointments, they still entertain lots of people who WANT to stop by for a visit (and they have a very small kitchen), they have a great relationship with their grandchildren and great-grandchildren because they are willing to give. They played with us on the floor when their backs hurt. They watched cartoons when they'd rather be watching the news. The times we visited the farm were so filled with fun and love. They will always be special memories. And now my kids are enjoying those visits to the farm as well.
I wonder, do you think in the last 80 years there have been times when they felt like not giving? It was probably difficult, exhausting, inconvenient and maybe expensive. I bet there were days. But now as they are aging, I can see the dividends. A life full of memories, joy, love, family and friends. They have been a major force and influence for Jesus in many lives through their service and generostiy. I'm not sure the world would think that they were wealthy (they do have a pretty nice car though!), but they truly are and I think they are smart enough to know it!
I want to share something that my Grandma wrote in her book chronicling our family history. She is writing this to the grandchildren:
"My constant prayer is that each of you walk in fellowship with God and claim Jesus as your own Savior. We know, too, that there are virtues that need to be present in our lives:
1. Hospitality - genuine caring open heart and home.
2. Generosity - not only give of our money but give of oneself.
3. Integrity - a genuine honesty in all things.
4. Purity - plain and simple, keeping oneself clean in life."
They have and are still living that out and I hope I have learned a few things by watching them. There's truly no retiring from the Christian life.
We have some friends that are adopting a baby. They already have 4 children: 2 natural, 2 adopted. They could have more natural children but this is their ministry. The costs are going to be beyond what they have. I would be jumping ship! We don't have that kind of money. But she said at the end of life what am I going to look back and say I wish I had spent my money on. Certainly it is this! So I am in awe watching them completely step out in faith for God to provide what they need. Most of us wouldn't think twice about taking out a $10,000 loan for a car, but for an adoption - are you crazy? Now that's an investment. The dividends will come in eternity when there is one more person that has heard about Jesus Christ because they were willing to take this little baby in.
So, where do I need to invest? My time is one thing. I need to use it to help and serve others. The most obvious is my own family (although they seem to be the hardest!). But there are all sorts of people around us that could benefit from our time. Listening, helping, encouraging and ultimately showing them Jesus.
My money is another part. Although it feels like we don't have any extra to give a lot of the time, we really live in abundance. We have two cars, a house full of stuff and food. We buy things and go out to eat - maybe I need to be more sacrificial with my money. It's easy to give extra money and not nearly as easy to sacrifice so there's money to give!
Hospitality, opening my heart and home to people. That one is tough for me. It doesn't come naturally. But I think I need to ask God to show me where he needs sacrificial investment from me. At times, it will be beyond my comfort zone but that's when I need to walk by faith.
I want my kids to learn to use the things God has given them for His work. Whether it is time, a talent, or money - it's all His. And I guess that starts with learning it myself and living it out so they can see it.
Our dividends for godly investing will not come to us in a nice neat portfolio with charts and graphs on it. In fact, we may not see them on this earth at all, but there is someone who watches and gives growth to our investments.
Matthew 6:19-21
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Psalm 62:10
"Though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them."
In order to get the reward, however, you must invest. Investment demands sacrifice. You make do with less now, for the purpose of having more or enough in the future.
We have not made any financial investments (except the minimum that is required by Mike's job - and if we think we are going to live off that we are in trouble!)
But I've realized that although there isn't a lot of extra cash flow right now to invest, there ARE investments I must make. They will also involve sacrifice.
My grandparents came to visit us last weekend. My Grandpa will be 90 in January and my Grandma is in her late 80's. They still live an active life, they drove themselves here - a 4 hour drive. But they are great examples to me of investing. Grandpa is a World War II veteran and after that he farmed. They had good times, but also hard times including a lot of health problems and the loss of a baby. But they didn't take that as a reason to become bitter or ingrown and pity themselves. They are people that live their lives for God and for others. Always thoughtful, hospitable, loving and generous. Passing on the love of Jesus to everyone they meet. They drive their friends to their doctor appointments, they still entertain lots of people who WANT to stop by for a visit (and they have a very small kitchen), they have a great relationship with their grandchildren and great-grandchildren because they are willing to give. They played with us on the floor when their backs hurt. They watched cartoons when they'd rather be watching the news. The times we visited the farm were so filled with fun and love. They will always be special memories. And now my kids are enjoying those visits to the farm as well.
I wonder, do you think in the last 80 years there have been times when they felt like not giving? It was probably difficult, exhausting, inconvenient and maybe expensive. I bet there were days. But now as they are aging, I can see the dividends. A life full of memories, joy, love, family and friends. They have been a major force and influence for Jesus in many lives through their service and generostiy. I'm not sure the world would think that they were wealthy (they do have a pretty nice car though!), but they truly are and I think they are smart enough to know it!
I want to share something that my Grandma wrote in her book chronicling our family history. She is writing this to the grandchildren:
"My constant prayer is that each of you walk in fellowship with God and claim Jesus as your own Savior. We know, too, that there are virtues that need to be present in our lives:
1. Hospitality - genuine caring open heart and home.
2. Generosity - not only give of our money but give of oneself.
3. Integrity - a genuine honesty in all things.
4. Purity - plain and simple, keeping oneself clean in life."
They have and are still living that out and I hope I have learned a few things by watching them. There's truly no retiring from the Christian life.
We have some friends that are adopting a baby. They already have 4 children: 2 natural, 2 adopted. They could have more natural children but this is their ministry. The costs are going to be beyond what they have. I would be jumping ship! We don't have that kind of money. But she said at the end of life what am I going to look back and say I wish I had spent my money on. Certainly it is this! So I am in awe watching them completely step out in faith for God to provide what they need. Most of us wouldn't think twice about taking out a $10,000 loan for a car, but for an adoption - are you crazy? Now that's an investment. The dividends will come in eternity when there is one more person that has heard about Jesus Christ because they were willing to take this little baby in.
So, where do I need to invest? My time is one thing. I need to use it to help and serve others. The most obvious is my own family (although they seem to be the hardest!). But there are all sorts of people around us that could benefit from our time. Listening, helping, encouraging and ultimately showing them Jesus.
My money is another part. Although it feels like we don't have any extra to give a lot of the time, we really live in abundance. We have two cars, a house full of stuff and food. We buy things and go out to eat - maybe I need to be more sacrificial with my money. It's easy to give extra money and not nearly as easy to sacrifice so there's money to give!
Hospitality, opening my heart and home to people. That one is tough for me. It doesn't come naturally. But I think I need to ask God to show me where he needs sacrificial investment from me. At times, it will be beyond my comfort zone but that's when I need to walk by faith.
I want my kids to learn to use the things God has given them for His work. Whether it is time, a talent, or money - it's all His. And I guess that starts with learning it myself and living it out so they can see it.
Our dividends for godly investing will not come to us in a nice neat portfolio with charts and graphs on it. In fact, we may not see them on this earth at all, but there is someone who watches and gives growth to our investments.
Matthew 6:19-21
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Psalm 62:10
"Though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them."
Monday, August 28, 2006
Why Mommy?
"We have to go to the grocery store."
"Why?"
"Because we need more food."
"Why?"
"Because we ate it all."
"Why?"
"Because we were hungry."
"Why?"
"Because hunger tells us we need more food."
"Why?"
"We need food to grow big and strong."
"Why?"
"Because that's how God made us."
"Why?"
"Because he just did - now get your shoes!"
"Why?"
"Because you need your shoes to go to the grocery store!"
"Why?"
Anyone who has had a toddler can relate to that precious conversation. I find myself trying to reason with them a lot which only leads to more frustration. We all have a natural curiosity. I find myself asking God "Why?" a lot. I wonder how irritating I am? But I was specifically asking why in relation to submission.
There is a bigger picture than just the fact that God told us to submit. I can read and I know it is in the Bible. But, WHY? Did he just think it would be interesting to watch me try? No, I suppose He has a reason for it just like I had a reason to go to the grocery store. I am glad that God is so patient with my questioning.
I think He asks us to submit because it is one of the ways he is making us like Him. As I submit, I am putting aside my needs, sacrificing, becoming more humble and gentle and thus becoming more godly. The point is that he wants us to be molded here on this earth and this is one of the ways that he scrunches my selfish and prideful heart into his likeness. So, I feel a little better about submission just thinking that it is really for my benefit, right?
And I think there is an added benefit with my kids. As they see me submitting to their Dad and ultimately God, they see Jesus in me. It's not always easy and I think it is okay for them to see that too. I want to be genuine with them, at times struggling to follow and obey God is part of life here on earth.
I know a few women that are so good at the submission thing. I can see them doing things and going places that wouldn't be their first choice, putting their husbands plans, jobs, needs, desires, agendas and dreams ahead of their own. And guess what? It is not pathetic, like a little puppy dog on a leash, it is Beautiful! I hope God will help me shine that kind of beauty someday - the beauty of reflecting His glory!
Ephesians 5:1-2
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself
up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
"Why?"
"Because we need more food."
"Why?"
"Because we ate it all."
"Why?"
"Because we were hungry."
"Why?"
"Because hunger tells us we need more food."
"Why?"
"We need food to grow big and strong."
"Why?"
"Because that's how God made us."
"Why?"
"Because he just did - now get your shoes!"
"Why?"
"Because you need your shoes to go to the grocery store!"
"Why?"
Anyone who has had a toddler can relate to that precious conversation. I find myself trying to reason with them a lot which only leads to more frustration. We all have a natural curiosity. I find myself asking God "Why?" a lot. I wonder how irritating I am? But I was specifically asking why in relation to submission.
There is a bigger picture than just the fact that God told us to submit. I can read and I know it is in the Bible. But, WHY? Did he just think it would be interesting to watch me try? No, I suppose He has a reason for it just like I had a reason to go to the grocery store. I am glad that God is so patient with my questioning.
I think He asks us to submit because it is one of the ways he is making us like Him. As I submit, I am putting aside my needs, sacrificing, becoming more humble and gentle and thus becoming more godly. The point is that he wants us to be molded here on this earth and this is one of the ways that he scrunches my selfish and prideful heart into his likeness. So, I feel a little better about submission just thinking that it is really for my benefit, right?
And I think there is an added benefit with my kids. As they see me submitting to their Dad and ultimately God, they see Jesus in me. It's not always easy and I think it is okay for them to see that too. I want to be genuine with them, at times struggling to follow and obey God is part of life here on earth.
I know a few women that are so good at the submission thing. I can see them doing things and going places that wouldn't be their first choice, putting their husbands plans, jobs, needs, desires, agendas and dreams ahead of their own. And guess what? It is not pathetic, like a little puppy dog on a leash, it is Beautiful! I hope God will help me shine that kind of beauty someday - the beauty of reflecting His glory!
Ephesians 5:1-2
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself
up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
One Foot In The World
The girls take gymnastics at an old school turned community center. The gymnastics academy shares a hallway with a yoga place. I laughed when I got there last week and saw a sign on the yoga door that said: "Quiet Please, Class In Session". You can smell the incense burning and they are doing what they can to relax, but all afternoon and evening there are over 100 aspiring gymnasts running, rolling, flipping and screaming up and down the hallways. Add to that the younger siblings waiting with their parents and it's total choas. I don't think the sign or the incense is going to make one bit of difference in the noise level!
I think trying to raise kids to be disciples of Jesus Christ in this culture is like walking around with a sign around my neck that says "I Love God" while the world rages on around us. It won't take too long to be overpowered by the noise. And although I say I am raising a "christian" family and we go to church, am I really truly cultivating an authentic relationship with Christ away from the pew? I mean, come on, I have at least 10 different bibles and I've read every James Dobson book on the market. But often my thoughts are not fixed on the long haul, the hearts of my kids. It is consumed with the here and now. And I want the here and now to be fun and comfy - like a pair of Tweety Bird flannel pajamas!
The grim reality, however, is that in many ways I am actually cultivating and encouraging worldly values in my kids. It has become so engrained in my psyche that I hardly even notice. I want my kids to have the things other kids have, to be liked by other kids, and not to do anything that people would consider "unusual" (However, all things 7 year old boys do qualify as unusual - and I hear it only gets weirder). Unwittingly, I'm guiding my kids toward popularity, materialism, and in turn downsizing their relationship with Christ.
Last year, I was challenged with a situation one of our kids was facing at school. There was someone we know being teased by our kid's friends. My first reaction unfortunately was for them to just walk away or avoid it. Why put their friendships at risk or get out of their comfort zone because of another child? What was I thinking? Of course, I should be teaching them to stop them, intervene and befriend the other child. Am I so consumed with my kids sitting alone at lunch or being left out by a group of kids that I am willing to sell out Jesus' teachings? Obviously, I was on the edge of that.
But I think we all buy into that so easily. We should love Jesus as long as He makes us happy, healthy, wealthy, and popular. Kids need to learn that there is a cost to following Christ and that no matter what happens, even if your friends disown you, standing up for Christ, and in turn others is what God calls us to do. Maybe I should learn that myself! How much cost have I had in my cushy little church life?
To live with authentic faith, being focused on Christ in all avenues of life: at home with their siblings, at school with friends and how they act when they play sports is what I desire for them. Is it more important, even at a young age, to stand right before our Lord or have someone to play with at recess? Silly question, right?
So how do I train my kids to live for Christ and sacrifice for Him in this selfish and cruel world? I think part of it for me is looking at the big picture. We aren't just dealing with elementary school issues, these are character issues. We aren't just living for the here and now, we've got eternity to look forward to. They need to develop this kind of stuff in order to grow into a mature disciple of Jesus.
If I don't change my mind set, in 10 years when they are teenagers I might look back and think, How did this happen? How could they have walked away? How could they be acting like this? We are a "good" church family. We have Jesus plaques and bible verses hanging on our walls (literally we do!).
I know a lot of faithful Christian parents who have lived authentic faith and taught it to their kids and their kids have still walked away. We are not in control of the final outcome, but we are accountable to live for Christ and teach them to do the same. Not just at church and bible study or when it is convenient, but all the time.
It's all about God, glorifying and enjoying him. It is so hard to keep that in focus living in this world. But I think that's my problem, I'm focused on THIS World way too much!
Romans 12:1-2
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy,
to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -
this is your spiritual act of worship.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -
his good, pleasing and perfect will."
I think trying to raise kids to be disciples of Jesus Christ in this culture is like walking around with a sign around my neck that says "I Love God" while the world rages on around us. It won't take too long to be overpowered by the noise. And although I say I am raising a "christian" family and we go to church, am I really truly cultivating an authentic relationship with Christ away from the pew? I mean, come on, I have at least 10 different bibles and I've read every James Dobson book on the market. But often my thoughts are not fixed on the long haul, the hearts of my kids. It is consumed with the here and now. And I want the here and now to be fun and comfy - like a pair of Tweety Bird flannel pajamas!
The grim reality, however, is that in many ways I am actually cultivating and encouraging worldly values in my kids. It has become so engrained in my psyche that I hardly even notice. I want my kids to have the things other kids have, to be liked by other kids, and not to do anything that people would consider "unusual" (However, all things 7 year old boys do qualify as unusual - and I hear it only gets weirder). Unwittingly, I'm guiding my kids toward popularity, materialism, and in turn downsizing their relationship with Christ.
Last year, I was challenged with a situation one of our kids was facing at school. There was someone we know being teased by our kid's friends. My first reaction unfortunately was for them to just walk away or avoid it. Why put their friendships at risk or get out of their comfort zone because of another child? What was I thinking? Of course, I should be teaching them to stop them, intervene and befriend the other child. Am I so consumed with my kids sitting alone at lunch or being left out by a group of kids that I am willing to sell out Jesus' teachings? Obviously, I was on the edge of that.
But I think we all buy into that so easily. We should love Jesus as long as He makes us happy, healthy, wealthy, and popular. Kids need to learn that there is a cost to following Christ and that no matter what happens, even if your friends disown you, standing up for Christ, and in turn others is what God calls us to do. Maybe I should learn that myself! How much cost have I had in my cushy little church life?
To live with authentic faith, being focused on Christ in all avenues of life: at home with their siblings, at school with friends and how they act when they play sports is what I desire for them. Is it more important, even at a young age, to stand right before our Lord or have someone to play with at recess? Silly question, right?
So how do I train my kids to live for Christ and sacrifice for Him in this selfish and cruel world? I think part of it for me is looking at the big picture. We aren't just dealing with elementary school issues, these are character issues. We aren't just living for the here and now, we've got eternity to look forward to. They need to develop this kind of stuff in order to grow into a mature disciple of Jesus.
If I don't change my mind set, in 10 years when they are teenagers I might look back and think, How did this happen? How could they have walked away? How could they be acting like this? We are a "good" church family. We have Jesus plaques and bible verses hanging on our walls (literally we do!).
I know a lot of faithful Christian parents who have lived authentic faith and taught it to their kids and their kids have still walked away. We are not in control of the final outcome, but we are accountable to live for Christ and teach them to do the same. Not just at church and bible study or when it is convenient, but all the time.
It's all about God, glorifying and enjoying him. It is so hard to keep that in focus living in this world. But I think that's my problem, I'm focused on THIS World way too much!
Romans 12:1-2
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy,
to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -
this is your spiritual act of worship.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -
his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Sunday, August 20, 2006
A Dirty Word?
Submission just sounds like a dirty word, doesn't it? For some reason it seems to leave a bad taste in my mouth. You can almost hear the snarl in the way people say it, "submissssssion". Why is it that I have come to loathe this biblical concept?
I don't think I have only a problem submitting to my husband, in reality I just don't want anyone telling me what to do! But it always comes to a head in my marriage. There are the big issues like having more kids, schooling and discipline. Then there are the minor ones like buying a new back pack, monitoring T.V. time and involvement in "activities". Either way I find it exhausting and frustrating. Why does he get to make all the final decisions? Who made him the king of the universe?
Well, the true King of the Universe put him in charge! If I am unwilling to submit to my husband then I am ultimately spitting in the face of God and walking away. I don't want to disobey God and be distanced from his grace and mercy. He has called me to submission and I think one of his reasons might be that it will help make me more like Jesus.
When Mike and I are butting heads over a certain issue -- certainly we should discuss it, but ultimately I have to give it over to God. The result is not bondage (as I think it will be), the result is FREEDOM! I need to get to the point where I can say, this is how I feel and what I think, now that ball is in your court. Then my job is to pray and commit it to God. THEN LET GO! I have a pretty tight grip sometimes so that is really hard!
It's never pleasant to go against Mike, our marriage suffers, our family suffers and our relationship with Christ suffers. Here's an example from a few years back. We had 2 little kids. There were a lot of things that were difficult in our life at the time, one of the big ones was our finances (or lack of). The more I spent, the more Mike tried to control. The more control he yielded, the more I wanted to spend. So, one day the kids and I trotted off to the mall. (I can remember that I liked to go there and look at all the things I couldn't afford and pity myself.) I decided that we should go out to lunch. I went to the cash machine and took out $40 - a lot of money! I was doing it out of spite, I knew he would find out but there would be nothing he could do about it.
I can remember it so clearly, I was pushing the double stroller and somewhere along the way I dropped the cash. My heart sank! The humility of dropping it for some reason convicted me. I honestly wasn't worried about the money, I just realized how wrong I was and that I didn't want to keep going in the direction I was headed. Well, a gracious woman behind me chased me down and gave it back to me. I did not spend a penny of that money and took it straight home. That was the beginning of being able to let go for me. I realized that my problem wasn't with Mike, but it was my heart - selfishness, pride and more were at the source of this hiddeous teenage-like behavior.
I had this paper from college. I don't know who wrote it, but it was life changing for me in the way I looked at submission. So here it is:
A Summary of the Special Biblical Secret:
Submission
-I Submit to God. I'll ask Him, and wait for Him to meet all my needs. (Psalm 62:1, Phillipians 4:6-7,19)
-I realize how valuable I am to Christ because he gave his life for me. (John 3:16)
-While waiting for my needs to be met through Christ, I'll attend to the needs of those around me. I'll forget about my needs because God is taking care of them (Ephesians 3:19-20), and I'll focus on what I can do for others. (John 15:11-12)
Wow! It doesn't seem like such a bad tasting word to me now! And I'm learning that I can submit and serve with Joy, not duty (ok sometimes it's duty). There were times in my life when I refused to submit to God and Mike. I thought I knew what I wanted and needed. The things I was seeking were and could have been devastating and disastrous. God knows our needs and how to meet them. How foolish I am not to trust that!
We choose submission out of reverance for Christ, we don't have do it because we are less. Jesus was a humble servant and submitted to the will of his Father. Is there anything better than to be like than Jesus? I've got a long way to go in this area!
Don't tell me you didn't figure these verses were coming:
Ephesians 5:21-24
"Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
I don't think I have only a problem submitting to my husband, in reality I just don't want anyone telling me what to do! But it always comes to a head in my marriage. There are the big issues like having more kids, schooling and discipline. Then there are the minor ones like buying a new back pack, monitoring T.V. time and involvement in "activities". Either way I find it exhausting and frustrating. Why does he get to make all the final decisions? Who made him the king of the universe?
Well, the true King of the Universe put him in charge! If I am unwilling to submit to my husband then I am ultimately spitting in the face of God and walking away. I don't want to disobey God and be distanced from his grace and mercy. He has called me to submission and I think one of his reasons might be that it will help make me more like Jesus.
When Mike and I are butting heads over a certain issue -- certainly we should discuss it, but ultimately I have to give it over to God. The result is not bondage (as I think it will be), the result is FREEDOM! I need to get to the point where I can say, this is how I feel and what I think, now that ball is in your court. Then my job is to pray and commit it to God. THEN LET GO! I have a pretty tight grip sometimes so that is really hard!
It's never pleasant to go against Mike, our marriage suffers, our family suffers and our relationship with Christ suffers. Here's an example from a few years back. We had 2 little kids. There were a lot of things that were difficult in our life at the time, one of the big ones was our finances (or lack of). The more I spent, the more Mike tried to control. The more control he yielded, the more I wanted to spend. So, one day the kids and I trotted off to the mall. (I can remember that I liked to go there and look at all the things I couldn't afford and pity myself.) I decided that we should go out to lunch. I went to the cash machine and took out $40 - a lot of money! I was doing it out of spite, I knew he would find out but there would be nothing he could do about it.
I can remember it so clearly, I was pushing the double stroller and somewhere along the way I dropped the cash. My heart sank! The humility of dropping it for some reason convicted me. I honestly wasn't worried about the money, I just realized how wrong I was and that I didn't want to keep going in the direction I was headed. Well, a gracious woman behind me chased me down and gave it back to me. I did not spend a penny of that money and took it straight home. That was the beginning of being able to let go for me. I realized that my problem wasn't with Mike, but it was my heart - selfishness, pride and more were at the source of this hiddeous teenage-like behavior.
I had this paper from college. I don't know who wrote it, but it was life changing for me in the way I looked at submission. So here it is:
A Summary of the Special Biblical Secret:
Submission
-I Submit to God. I'll ask Him, and wait for Him to meet all my needs. (Psalm 62:1, Phillipians 4:6-7,19)
-I realize how valuable I am to Christ because he gave his life for me. (John 3:16)
-While waiting for my needs to be met through Christ, I'll attend to the needs of those around me. I'll forget about my needs because God is taking care of them (Ephesians 3:19-20), and I'll focus on what I can do for others. (John 15:11-12)
Wow! It doesn't seem like such a bad tasting word to me now! And I'm learning that I can submit and serve with Joy, not duty (ok sometimes it's duty). There were times in my life when I refused to submit to God and Mike. I thought I knew what I wanted and needed. The things I was seeking were and could have been devastating and disastrous. God knows our needs and how to meet them. How foolish I am not to trust that!
We choose submission out of reverance for Christ, we don't have do it because we are less. Jesus was a humble servant and submitted to the will of his Father. Is there anything better than to be like than Jesus? I've got a long way to go in this area!
Don't tell me you didn't figure these verses were coming:
Ephesians 5:21-24
"Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
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