Is it any surprise that hurt leads to anger and anger leads to bitterness? For some reason, it was news to me. It seems easier to bury those feelings and pretend everything is ok. Or maybe it is nice to have some ammunition to throw out during the next fight. Sometimes it just feels good to be mad or have someone to blame (I tend to like to play the blame game). But it only adds up to devestation!
One thing I learned during that time in my life was to keep a short account with God. I need to regularly ask him to show me any areas where I have either been hurt or caused hurt. And then I need to deal with it: forgive or seek forgiveness. (Here we go with the humility thing again, but really, it takes humility to seek forgiveness.)
I'm not sure what I'd do without God showing me the things in my heart that need to change. The devil would love for us to let our relationships bleed to death, but only Jesus can stop the bleeding and prevent a trip to the emergency room.
Ephesians 4:26-27
In your anger do not sin:
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:29-32
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,
that it may benefit those who listen.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit fo God,
with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Is That Blood? - Part 1
We were visiting some friends from our church the other night. They have 4 boys! We had a fish fry with some of their recent catches. (yum! I love having fisherman in our church - especially generous ones!) We proceded to walk through the woods and ride their horses. While some kids were riding horse, Mike was chasing the other kids around the farm: up big round hay bales, through bushes and around the fences. Their oldest boy came running with a smile on his face until he realized his face was all wet. When he touched it and pulled his hand away it was covered in blood. His head had snagged the barbed wire fence. He was really tough about it until his dad mentioned stitches, then fear struck. His parents did wonder how they would explain to the E.R. doctor that the Pastor was chasing their kids around and their son got hooked by a barbed wire fence. However, it stopped bleeding quickly and it turned out to be ok.
It got me thinking of the time after Jenna was born. She was my toughest delivery and ended up in NICU for a few days. Needless to say, it was a pretty stressful time. Of course, she was born on a Friday. Mike had a wedding on Saturday and church on Sunday. I can understand doing the wedding, but he went to all the other scheduled things of his day like nothing had happened. If anyone else in our church would've had a baby in NICU we would have dropped everything and run right down there. But he couldn't (or wouldn't) do it for me.
It was two months later, after things were falling apart that I suddenly realized I was super angry that he hadn't been there for me. It seemed like our marriage was fine, but there were things brewing under the surface. It was like finding blood all over my hands. All of a sudden our marriage was hemmoraging and we needed to get to the E.R.
We were dealing with some other big issues as well. And for us, things got worse before they got better. The situation around Jenna's birth was just the point at which we realized we were bleeding. We're grateful for God's grace and forgiveness in our lives. And honestly, although we sought professional counseling, the major turning point was both of us turning our lives and hearts completely over to Christ in some areas that we hadn't. He was not coming first and we were both being selfish and just plain sinful in many ways.
The counselor we met with was trying to negotiate the details, but he was missing the point. Once we sought God's forgiveness, forgave and started serving each other, the details really didn't matter. When we were focused on Christ and his amazing forgiveness, it really didn't matter where we lived, how small the house was, who did what chores, who did the most work with the kids or who made the biggest mistakes! Christ's forgiveness is bigger than all of that stuff.
2 Corinthians 4:18
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal."
Ephesians 1:7-8
"In him we have redemption through his blood,
the forgiveness of sins,
in accordance with the riches of God's grace
that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding"
It got me thinking of the time after Jenna was born. She was my toughest delivery and ended up in NICU for a few days. Needless to say, it was a pretty stressful time. Of course, she was born on a Friday. Mike had a wedding on Saturday and church on Sunday. I can understand doing the wedding, but he went to all the other scheduled things of his day like nothing had happened. If anyone else in our church would've had a baby in NICU we would have dropped everything and run right down there. But he couldn't (or wouldn't) do it for me.
It was two months later, after things were falling apart that I suddenly realized I was super angry that he hadn't been there for me. It seemed like our marriage was fine, but there were things brewing under the surface. It was like finding blood all over my hands. All of a sudden our marriage was hemmoraging and we needed to get to the E.R.
We were dealing with some other big issues as well. And for us, things got worse before they got better. The situation around Jenna's birth was just the point at which we realized we were bleeding. We're grateful for God's grace and forgiveness in our lives. And honestly, although we sought professional counseling, the major turning point was both of us turning our lives and hearts completely over to Christ in some areas that we hadn't. He was not coming first and we were both being selfish and just plain sinful in many ways.
The counselor we met with was trying to negotiate the details, but he was missing the point. Once we sought God's forgiveness, forgave and started serving each other, the details really didn't matter. When we were focused on Christ and his amazing forgiveness, it really didn't matter where we lived, how small the house was, who did what chores, who did the most work with the kids or who made the biggest mistakes! Christ's forgiveness is bigger than all of that stuff.
2 Corinthians 4:18
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal."
Ephesians 1:7-8
"In him we have redemption through his blood,
the forgiveness of sins,
in accordance with the riches of God's grace
that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding"
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Enough About TV!
I'm really being challenged about what I fill my mind and time with, so I had a few more thoughts on TV. I was thinking that it isn't only about the amount of time I spend watching TV, but there is something to be said for the content of what I'm watching. How many of the shows that I enjoy watching include majorly, bigtime sinful behavior? Murder, adultery, stealing, dishonesty, bad language and worse. What should my standard for viewing be?
It reminds me of the time Mike and I were on vacation with my sister and her husband and my parents. We were watching TV and came across Austin Powers. I'm sure that my sister and brother-in-law had seen the movie before as we had. We thought it was funny I guess. But as we were sitting there watching it with my parents, the sexual innuendos and lewdness didn't seem so funny. We were all adults, but one by one we decided it was too weird and headed off to bed.
Another time when my sister and I were in high school we accidentally left a copy of the Woody Harrelson movie "White Men Can't Jump" at our grandparents. (Does that date me? Have most of you heard of that movie?) My Grandpa found it and watched it. He was in World War 2, so I figure he's heard a few swear words in his day, but it made us feel pretty uncomfortable to think of him watching that movie. So then I wonder, why were we watching it?
There are things and situations that we as adults can handle watching But I'm realizing that I'm becoming pretty laid back with my standards. I want my life to be pleasing to God in every area and to be pure before Him as much as I can in my sinful state. I think I need to remember that Jesus sitting in the room with me while I watch TV. I wonder if it would change my viewing habits?
Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever in noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."
1 Corinthians 10:23
"'Everything is permissible" - but not everything is beneficial.
'Everything is permissible' - but not everything is constructive."
It reminds me of the time Mike and I were on vacation with my sister and her husband and my parents. We were watching TV and came across Austin Powers. I'm sure that my sister and brother-in-law had seen the movie before as we had. We thought it was funny I guess. But as we were sitting there watching it with my parents, the sexual innuendos and lewdness didn't seem so funny. We were all adults, but one by one we decided it was too weird and headed off to bed.
Another time when my sister and I were in high school we accidentally left a copy of the Woody Harrelson movie "White Men Can't Jump" at our grandparents. (Does that date me? Have most of you heard of that movie?) My Grandpa found it and watched it. He was in World War 2, so I figure he's heard a few swear words in his day, but it made us feel pretty uncomfortable to think of him watching that movie. So then I wonder, why were we watching it?
There are things and situations that we as adults can handle watching But I'm realizing that I'm becoming pretty laid back with my standards. I want my life to be pleasing to God in every area and to be pure before Him as much as I can in my sinful state. I think I need to remember that Jesus sitting in the room with me while I watch TV. I wonder if it would change my viewing habits?
Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever in noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."
1 Corinthians 10:23
"'Everything is permissible" - but not everything is beneficial.
'Everything is permissible' - but not everything is constructive."
I'm All Ears!
One of the best things about this blog is meeting other moms! So I would love it if you contacted me. Feel free to challenge, disagree, commiserate or share your heart.
I don't have a huge audience and love getting mail, so rest assured you will hear from me in about thirty seconds.
You can find me right here,
mommymissionary@yahoo.com
I don't have a huge audience and love getting mail, so rest assured you will hear from me in about thirty seconds.
You can find me right here,
mommymissionary@yahoo.com
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Hey - Where's the TV?
I was standing in the kitchen with the remote control in my hand, but guess what - no TV. We had a little TV in our kitchen this year for Bible study. Well, Bible study is long over but I thought it was kind of nice to have in there. I could watch the news or other shows while I was working in the kitchen. But suddenly, it had vanished.
I got a note in the mail from a ministry encouraging people to turn off their TV for a month. A month! I like watching TV. It's relaxing to unwind and watch a few things, but I always feel a little unfulfilled after a night of viewing. But not unfulfilled enought to get rid of the thing completely!
But, Mike decided it was time to put the kitchen TV away (we have another one in the basement so it's not that big of a deal). I was kind of annoyed. Didn't he know how many countless hours I spend doing menial labor in the kitchen? How dare he come in and just decide to take it away! So, being the submissive wife that I am, I decided to just go with it. I did have the inclination to go dig for it in the garage or basement and bring it back in while he was at work, but that' s another story.
Then while he was reading one night he said, I can't believe how much I can get done when I watch less TV. I had to agree that it was true. We were both reading more and I was using my evening hours to do more praying.
I don't think it's wrong to have TV in your house, kitchen or bedroom. And come fall when our shows come back on and it gets cold and dark outside at night, I'm sure we will watch more of it. But I realized that I watch it out of habit. Some shows I really don't care about, the news I can get on the radio.
I've been thinking a lot about how to make my life more pleasing to God and being more like Him. It's spurring me on to evaluate lots of things in my life that I thought were outside the "Spiritual" part of my life. I hope it helps me be more discerning about how I spend my time.
Ephesians 5:1-2
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us
as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
I got a note in the mail from a ministry encouraging people to turn off their TV for a month. A month! I like watching TV. It's relaxing to unwind and watch a few things, but I always feel a little unfulfilled after a night of viewing. But not unfulfilled enought to get rid of the thing completely!
But, Mike decided it was time to put the kitchen TV away (we have another one in the basement so it's not that big of a deal). I was kind of annoyed. Didn't he know how many countless hours I spend doing menial labor in the kitchen? How dare he come in and just decide to take it away! So, being the submissive wife that I am, I decided to just go with it. I did have the inclination to go dig for it in the garage or basement and bring it back in while he was at work, but that' s another story.
Then while he was reading one night he said, I can't believe how much I can get done when I watch less TV. I had to agree that it was true. We were both reading more and I was using my evening hours to do more praying.
I don't think it's wrong to have TV in your house, kitchen or bedroom. And come fall when our shows come back on and it gets cold and dark outside at night, I'm sure we will watch more of it. But I realized that I watch it out of habit. Some shows I really don't care about, the news I can get on the radio.
I've been thinking a lot about how to make my life more pleasing to God and being more like Him. It's spurring me on to evaluate lots of things in my life that I thought were outside the "Spiritual" part of my life. I hope it helps me be more discerning about how I spend my time.
Ephesians 5:1-2
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us
as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
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