Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Drama Mama

I suppose there is something in a Mom’s DNA that brings out the Drama Mama in us.  You know how it is,  I am the best. My kid is the best.  Don’t try to tell me they’re not!  If you can’t recognize their amazing talent then you are an idiot!  It’s kind of a cross between Tiger Mom and Mama Bear.  I think it stems from wanting the best for our kids but it can get ugly in a hurry.

I was chatting with a friend about our upcoming basketball season.  Disclaimer:  This friend does not live in my town nor do her kids go to the same school as mine.  She was telling me about the drama on a kids basketball team.  The minute the mom of this child starts talking about basketball she goes ape.  Curse words fly, tensions raise, she goes for the throat of other moms and other girls.  It’s viscous.  That’s why my friend never mentions the word *basketball* to this person.

It’s natural to want the best for your kids.  It’s natural to want to defend them.  It’s not normal or cool to freak out when you don’t get your way.  Or to demand that they are the best thing on the planet at academics, sports, cheerleading, eating lunch or walking up the stairs.  Seriously, it can get that petty.

There are some moms that just attract drama. It’s always something.  It seems like the root cause is selfishness.  It’s all about me.  It’s all about my kid.  We are the best, don’t tell us we aren’t.

It’s kind of like those the kids that go to try out for American Idol.  Their families have told them all their lives that they are the bomb.  The problem is that they literally are a bomb.  Some cannot carry a tune but their parents have continued to push this image and dream.  They go away broken hearted over the truth.  They are not God’s gift to music.  They had no idea.

There are things I’m not good at.  I’m not good at math or decorating.  I’m not good at exercise or cleaning.  It’s ok.  Some things that we are usually good at bomb at times.  Like today I made the most disgusting cookies.  I have no idea why because I’ve used that recipe a million times.  However that should not shatter who I am.  We all have bad days and things we aren’t good at.

Drama Mama can’t see or accept that.  She certainly isn’t teaching her kids that.  It’s a reality of life.  She’s puffing her kids up to a level that they most likely cannot possibly sustain.  That’s not a favor to her kids.  It won’t be long before they get out there and learn that they are not the best at everything.  They will be shattered. 

The other problem with Drama Mama is that she is not considering others.  If you and your kid are the best, where does that leave everyone else?  If your kid is the only one who can shine, then no one else counts.

Over and over God encourages us to put others first.  To pour ourselves out.  It’s a radical idea in this society that encourages us to be “all about me”.  But what would happen if we were all about encouraging everyone to use the gifts and talents God has given them for His glory.

In my Bible study today, we focused on this verse:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  Ephesians 4:2-3

The author of the study, Chip Ingram explains that humility is when we decide to think of ourselves honestly and practice serving others unselfishly. 

Gentleness develops when we intentionally relate to people beyond our comfort zone. 

Patience has a chance to grow as we experience the disappointments, delays and frustrations with those who don’t want to change or don’t see change the same way we do.

What would happen if all Moms did this?   The Drama Mama can’t see past her own selfish desires.  God wants us to go in a radically different direction.  He wants us to give up our rights and think of others.  When we do that, His grace will take over.

I don’t think it’s possible to be a drama mama and a follower of Christ.  So when I feel myself start to slip into that mode I better run back to Ephesians and check myself.  God calls us to a life of humility and service, not selfishness and boasting. 

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