Neither

I really didn’t have much planned for August. The first few months of summer got horrendously busy. The schedules and trips and visits and surgeries and weddings just made a life of their own. So my husband and I were desperately trying to keep August open. And we did a pretty good job.

The only thing on the calendar was Girl Scout camp with my daughter’s troop for a few days. Just after that, the opportunity came up for me to go on a missions trip to help with a Vacation Bible School.

I really wanted to go help. I have a tendency to enthusiastically jump into things without praying or checking with my husband. There are just so many things I want to do! Or at least there are a lot of things I want to be in control of.

I figured it would work out since we hadn’t planned anything for August, but wouldn’t you know it happened to fall on the same week as Girl Scout camp. Jenna desperately wanted to go on the missions trip. She had no problem skipping out on camp to go. I was encouraged by the fact that I really like hanging out with the other pastors and their wives that were involved in the trip.

I was quite sure God wanted me to go on the missions trip because really, why wouldn’t he? I thought I might try to get out of Girl Scout camp. As time went on it became more and more clear that I needed to fulfill my commitment to camp. I felt at peace about that. I love doing that kind of stuff with my daughter and her friends.

So it was decided, I was off to girl scout camp. They did end up rounding up enough help for the VBS trip which was a relief. I was able to help them get the materials together for VBS so I guess I helped in a small way.

Then two days before camp, I got the stomach flu. It was gross like the stomach flu is. I had it Thursday night, Friday, Saturday… My friend graciously went to Girl Scout camp for me because seriously, they have outhouses there. I owe her big time I guess.

So here I am at home. After all the wallowing and worrying, I had to miss out on both! What gives with that? It’s not like God couldn’t have helped me get better soon enough to go. Or had these things happen on different dates. So as much as I struggled with where I should serve him and where I should go, I maybe should have stopped to ask Him. Because His answer was different than mine.

He wanted me to stay home. I can’t argue with that. The answer was plain as day. It just doesn’t seem right. Why wouldn’t it work out for me to do these trips?

Both of those opportunities are good. They are great things to be involved in. But maybe not for me at this time. Maybe I needed to be home with my family. Maybe I needed to see that God’s work will go on without me. Maybe I need to learn to listen to Jesus. I might need to be at peace with the walls He puts up in my life.

How often do I stop to listen to Jesus? And when he clearly closes doors, can I be at peace with it? I think it’s less of my problem to try to decide what to do, and more of my concern what I do with what God has given me. And where He has put me.

Whether I am at camp or VBS or home with my family, God has a purpose and plan behind what happens. I need to stop and listen, embracing what He has for me. At this season in my life, more often than not it’s here at home. I think He certainly would bless me to serve in those other areas. Just not this time. And I’m ok with that.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

James 4:13-14