Still Five

Annie has been looking forward to being five for months. Five means school. All day yesterday she kept asking if she was five now despite the evidence of presents, balloons, streamers and birthday cake. It might be because Mike was teasing her that she could never turn five and on her birthday he would sing her a new song: Four Forever! After all the waiting it was like she couldn't really believe it. Was she five? It didn't feel different.

This morning she asked several times again. Am I five? I kept reassuring her that yes she was indeed still five.

It struck me how often I do that with God. Am I saved? Am I forgiven? Am I loved? Because it is hard to believe that anyone could forgive me for the things I've done and still love me enough to die for me. So I keep asking. It doesn't feel any different. I still feel like the same old Michelle. I make mistakes, get tired, act mean to my family. Still after all these years of following Christ.

So, God, am I really changed? Do you still love me? I would totally understand if you didn't. Sometimes I don't even love myself.

But God is not like us. He continually and gently reassures us that yes we are indeed still saved.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

His sacrifice was once for all.

"For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit" 1 Peter 3:18

His love will never end.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God is him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:16-18

His forgiveness knows no bounds.

"As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us" Psalm 103:12

As I've been answering Annie's questions I thought maybe God doesn't mind reassuring us. Just like when one of my kids runs into my arms it's another chance to show them my love. The love doesn't waver, it's always there. I'm the one that flounders. I need reassurance and I think he knows that. Of course He knows that, He knows everything! That's why he gave me the Bible. It shouldn't stop me from being secure in the promises He's given. It's just that every once in a while it is nice to hear those words again.

Now we are on to the next questions. Mom, Am I five and a half? When will I be six?

And I gently answer back, in 364 days honey.