Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Bad Turned Good

There have been some bad moments around here in the last week.  Some issues between Mike and I came to a head.  I’ve been less than patient with the kids.  The kids have been arguing, talking back and complaining. 

Yesterday morning as I was getting the kids off to the bus a large scuffle broke out over a hat.  That’s right.  A free hat.  We used to have about seven of these hats laying around and now there are two.  Someone was mad, someone crying and another pushing.  In my gentle, motherly way I told them to quit fighting about a stupid hat and get to school!  Then I slammed the door.  It was not a great way to start the day. 

When those bad moments come it leaves me with a sick feeling.  It doesn’t feel good to fight or be angry.  I don’t want our family life to be full of squabbles and skirmishes.  But the bad has a way of slowing things down.  Maybe it’s the sick feeling or the emotions involved.  I can’t just keep going amidst the hurt and dischord.  It makes me stop and think about what’s going on and why things are the way they are.

When I hit those low points it’s humbling.  I have to admit that I’m not a perfect mother or wife.  I have to admit that my kids are less than perfect.  It makes me think about what we need to do to get off the path we are on.

Once we are humbled, we can forgive. The bad moments can bring tender times of forgiveness. Those times after a boiling over of emotion can help me refocus on what’s really important.  It’s not a hat or a car battery or a bad attitude.  It’s our relationships with God and with each other.  The point of forgiveness is a new beginning.

Along with forgiveness comes time for reflection and redirection.  After feeling bad all day about how our morning went, I started to think about what we need to change.  We had a little conference after supper and talked about how we all have areas where we have not been living the way God would want us to.  I have been impatient.  Everyone else had their problem areas too.  We talked about what we could do to change and help each other.

The best part is reaffirmation, reminding each other that we are loved.  The kids need to know that will never change no matter how many bad moments we have.  And so do I. 

It’s easy for me to let those bad moments fester and give way to bitterness.  But there’s an opportunity to slow down and let bad be turned good.  This morning we had the same hat issue.  Someone turned around and grabbed a different hat and everyone hugged and hopped off to school happy and loved.

There are so many areas in our life where bad moments threaten ruin.  With family, work, church, friends, sports (ask me about our basketball games on Saturday!)  just to name a few.  Those emotional climaxes are an opportunity to change course.  I don’t want to stay on a path to hurt and despair.  I want to let bad be turned good.

Colossians 3:12-14

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved clothes yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.


lindsey said...

OK, I'll bite, what happed at Basketball?


Mommy Missionary said...

Tough game, frustrating ref!

S.I.F. said...

This kind of goes along with what I wrote about today (taking the bad and finding the good in it). Not always easy (and you're right, sometimes bitterness IS easier... I know it is for me anyway!), but I love seeing others do it!

DWin said...

I'm sorry that someone else is having the same week I am. Thank you for the scripture.