Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Destroyed Beauty

Winter is creeping in on fall early this year. We’ve had some snow flakes and dustings of snow. When you live where it is winter eight months out of the year, it is not appreciated. It’s like throwing in an extra month of pregnancy at the end. No big deal, right? Ha!

I went jogging last week. I was attempting to think grand, glorious and deep thoughts which happens when I finally get alone after weeks of being with kids. I seemed to be on the verge of a very brilliant epiphany. It was so beautiful on the trail I was running on. The leaves were crunching under my feet and fluffy snowflakes were falling. *Cue music.

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Then I bent over and had to take a huge inhale because I was about to die resulting in snorting a snowflake up my nose. I've lived in Minnesota all my life and have never done that. The moment was kind of ruined. It was ruined because I haven’t been running consistently. I’ve been…busy.

Last summer I ran a 5K and today I can run for about 5 seconds before collapsing. I used to be able to tell that my stomach muscles were getting stronger and helping me run better. But I guess when you stop doing Pilates and those darn ball exercises the the effects go in reverse, double time.

Why did I quit? Oh I have lots of reasons, some are very legitimate like: the kids have been sick, it gets dark early and doesn’t get light early enough, it’s too cold and hard to take the girls, Mike has been gone at football way too late and I’m too cheap to buy a treadmill. All good reasons right? No,the real answer is I’m lazy and undisciplined. There are times I could run, days that aren’t cold. I have exercise videos I could do. I have warm clothes.

My lack of discipline ruined that great, beautiful moment on the trail. I was all frustrated at being out of shape and kicking myself for not doing better.

Lack of discipline and laziness ruin lots of potential good moments in my life. I really don’t have time to read the Bible or pray. I’m busy. I’ve got stuff to do. That’s silly right? I’ve got the time, I just don’t do it. I mean, I know Jesus sacrificed his life and all to forgive my sins and give me a future but it’s just a bit much for me to get out of bed a little early, turn off the TV or computer, put down the phone, get out of the kitchen and be with Him.

It plays out as moments of anger instead of patience, a sharp word instead of encouragement, being down on myself instead of trusting in His power, a critical spirit instead of a spirit of love, selfishness when I should be meeting the needs of others and worshipping the great “me” instead of Him.

When I’m out of sync with Christ I’m just gasping for breath and not living in His strength. I want to, but I am unwilling to pay the price or put in the time. The stakes are way higher than just being out of shape.

So before I pass out on the trail, I’ve got to get help from the power of His word and rely on His Spirit. He’s already finished the work. The only way I’ll be able to live moments of beauty for His glory is to give Him time and opportunity in my heart and life.

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2 Peter 1:3-8

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness, and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 6:11-12

We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

Psalm 119:9-11

How can a young man keep his way pure?

By living according to your word.

I seek you with all my heart;

do not let me stray from your commands,

I have hidden your word in my heart

that I might not sin against you.


Peter and Nancy said...

I just caught up on your past few posts -- I loved the clipping from your grandma! Tears. It made me think all over again about how I wish my grandmas could've lived to meet my babies and give me advice. (They had 11 and 6 children -- yipes.)

I've been making the "Wacky Cake" as my recipe is titled -- my oldest is allergic to eggs, so it's perfect.

Jenilee said...

what a beautiful post. thank you for sharing. I love the verses you shared!