Saturday, January 05, 2008


Grant is playing basketball again. It has taken a step up in intensity this year. More practices and tournaments on Saturdays. I thought he wanted to play but apparently I didn't discuss it with him because he hates it and wants to quit. I know that he is not going to be a team sports kind of guy long term but we thought it would be good for him to do something active and he might grow to like it. It's a fun sport you can keep playing into adulthood.

The first sign of trouble was one night in December when I went to pick him up at practice. They just aren't a competitive group of boys. One of them was heard saying before a game, "I can't wait to go home and try my new Axe shampoo!" Grant pretty consistently has his hands in his jersey and skips around the court. He just doesn't care! I don't consider myself to be a competitive person, but watching today was just painful! They lost by more than 20 points. When I got to the gym today, (the girls and I didn't make it to the first game) I saw Grant and expected to hear "We Won!" or "We lost", but instead I heard a breakdown of what he had eaten at the snack bar!

I feel torn about whether we should let him quit or not. Both Mike and I feel like we should make him finish out the season (although my resolve is weakening!) There isn't a lot left of the season and there are not a lot of kids in his age group so they kind of need all the bodies they can get! Is there value in finishing what you started? I think there is - it is good to learn to see things through.

But at the same time, as a Mom I feel like I don't want to value "finishing" over my child's gifts, uniqueness and desires. Isn't that important too? Letting them try things and in the process discovering who they are?

Ultimately, I will follow Mike's lead on this one. A few more weeks won't hurt him. I'm just not sure what the more valuable lesson is!


Anonymous said...

Good to have you back Michelle! I've been checking your blog over the last month or so and I was sooo excited to see some new blogs. I can completely relate to how hard it is to put a sentence together as well so don't feel bad for not blogging. Just wanted to let you know how much I love to read what's going on in your home and heart. Jenn

Christy said...

It's a tough one. My first reaction is that the life lesson of "sticking it out" is overrated. It was one that I was taught, and there have been many times when I've applied it and it has bombed. But then I think of the big things such as marriage and jobs and think that "sticking it out" is probably a valuable thing to teach.

Michelle said...

At last we reached the end of the season and everyone is happy! But I do think it was a good thing to have him finish. Now he is in Karate and very happy.

I read in my Good Housekeeping an article by Dr. Phil and his wife. I'm not a fan of his. I haven't seen his show and I don't really know anything about him. But his wife said that one thing she learned is that there are some things a Dad needs to teach his son. She used the exact example of quitting a sports team. She didn't think it was a big deal, he wanted to teach him to finish what he started. It is a good lesson to learn. I'm so glad Mike and I are on the same page as Dr. Phil!