Unlikely Places

We went trick or treating last week and did our usual thing. We went to a friends house for dinner and then drove around to all the people we know and the elderly people in our church who like to see our kids dressed up.

But there is one house that I would never think of going to. It is a dumpy old house. It looks kind of uninhabitable, but since there is usually a beat up car in the driveway and some dogs running around I assumed someone lived there. It turns out that house belongs to the brother of some people that go to our church. It is the house they all grew up in. They've always told us to to Trick or Treating there and I always thought they were crazy! Do they think I would actually drive in, unload my family and walk right up to the door? Maybe they don't know me as well as they think they do!

Well, last year we followed some other relatives of his there (ok so everyone is related in Wrenshall!). Here's what we've been missing: He has big storage tubs full of candy. He takes an ice cream bucket and scoops it full and dumps it in every child's bag. He'll even give you a new bag if yours isn't big enough! I'm not sure I've ever seen a look of such intense surprise and delight on my children's faces! So this year, of course, the big question was "Are we going to Warren's?"

I didn't get to go with them this year due to Maren's intense dislike of trick or treating and getting in and out of her car seat. But they did go and they got a bundle of candy! I drove by there the next day and thought isn't it crazy how there could be treasure in such an unlikely place?

We went to check out Holyoke Park a few weeks ago. I wasn't excited to go, there is nothing in Holyoke! But I was amazed at how beautiful and fun it was. There is a flowing river (I put in a picture - pretty hi tech!), lots of trees, a baseball field and trails. We went back this weekend and had our family pictures taken there.

It seems like I often overlook someone or something because of outward appearances. I try not to make eye contact with scruffy looking people. I avoid places that don't seem to be up to my high level of approval or might have a funky smell.

On an even more personal level, how many times have I dismissed some trait or talent that one of my kids has because it seemed odd or silly or embarrasing? Maybe I've contributed to them not reaching their full potential in an area or freeing them to use their abilities for God.

I'm especially convicted with regards to Jenna. Unfortunately for her, she is a lot like me in personality which makes us butt heads alot. She is rough and tumble, tomboyish, and very messy. Today she was eating a sandwich and had lettuce and mayo all over her face and crumbs all over her shirt and pants. She doesn't like to brush her hair or wear nice or clean clothes. She spits in the dirt! And I often try to help and guide her in the direction of being a young lady and needless to say she doesn't appreciate it too much!

In my desire to give her the needed direction, I often overlook her zest for life. She loves every minute of everything she does - except practicing the piano. She is fun-loving, energetic, fast-paced, friendly and driven. I know I need to appreciate the unique personality and talents that God has given her. It's hard to find the balance between training her and stomping all over her personality.

All of a sudden, God reminded me that I need to look at things through His eyes. He has given bunches of treasures that may look like a ramshackle house, but it holds the motherload of candy. And it might be a sleepy little nowhere town, but it possesses amazing natural beauty.

Are there things in your life and the lives of those you love that you've overlooked or shunned? Are there people in your life that seem weird or worthless at first glance? Jesus made a point to reach out to those that society shut out and bring out the best in people he came into contact with. The woman at the well, the adultress woman, Zaccheus, the criples and crazies are all people no good "religious" person would touch with a ten foot pole! But Jesus could see that every person was created by God and made for His glory. He went right after their hearts and brought them straight to Love.

I want to follow Jesus' example of finding treasures in unlikely places. Oh that I would be able to do that for my family and those around me.

Luke 19:7-9
"All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a sinner".

But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possesions to the poor, and if I have cheated anyobody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."

Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, becaue this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to sek and sae what was lost."

Do We Worship Walt?

Well, if you have a daughter or live on the planet earth, you probably know that High School Musical 3 came out in theaters this weekend. We own the first two videos. I don't think they are the worst movies and I agree that they are fun. I haven't seen the new one yet, but Jenna saw it with a friend today. The girls really have not been excited about seeing the movie. They haven't watched or talked about it for months. I think part of the reason is they haven't been watching TV enough to see the previews and ads for it.

I am starting to wonder how much we should allow our kids to be exposed to the media. Can we really raise kids that are lovers of Jesus and the things of him if they are constantly bombarded with the images of this world?

Saturday morning cartoons are filled with commercials for all the latest Christmas toys. The Disney Channel is basically one big advertisement for Disney products. It glorifies dating and physical contact between kids. As Christians is that what we want our kids filling their minds and hearts with? Is it feeding their need for God or their need for self?

I keep thinking of Philippians 4:8 which says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

There are few things that fit into that category that I've seen in a movie theater or a TV Show.
There's a Christian organization that gives the new High School Musical movie a very good rating because it's wholesome. I was pretty surprised by the positive review. One of my sister's friends that is nowhere near a Christian said she didn't think she needed to take her girls to see all that kissy face stuff! Hearing her say that challenges me all the more to think through what we watch and not just go because they want to or everyone else is. Because clearly everyone else is not!

I don't think the answer is to forbid my kids from ever watching another movie or TV show. I want it to be clear to my kids that we are God-worshippers not Walt-Worshippers! It seems the less they are exposed to it the better. They are already naturally selfish and materialistic anyway. I've noticed as our family has watched less and less TV and movies that our kids' (and my) contentment has grown. They don't have the desire to get things as much. They haven't begged to go get a new Happy Meal Toy for a while (well, a week anyway!)

My friend Jenn commented on my last entry and mentioned that during a High School musical song her husband hit pause and talked to the kids about how we don't make our dreams come true by looking inside ourselves, but we look to Jesus for answers. I think that is the best way to handle it. If we are engaged with what they are watching, listening to and reading we can use it to teach our own values and discuss issues with them.

On top of being engaged and informed is keeping limits on their media exposure. Maybe it's kind of like their exposure to pop and candy. It's not too harmful in limited quantities. But with junk food and media I'm finding less and less is definitely best.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

Something's Missing

I had the chance to go to Girl Scout camp this summer. It was a beautiful camp with a lot of big tall pines and a pretty lake. But I felt like there was something missing or empty about it. It wasn't until we went to family camp a few months later that I realized what it was: It's Christ! I've never been at a camp that wasn't centered around God and the Bible.

The same thought hit me last week while I was at our Early Childhood Family Education parenting time. The issues that they are bringing up and discussing are all good, but they miss the mark if you don't connect it to Christ and his plan for us as parents.

I was reading an article in the magazine they give out free from class called Scholastic's Parent and Child. The article is "Toned Inside Out" by Sara Holliday and its in the October 2008 issue. It says you need to take time out for yourself - you deserve it! Here are some suggestions she offers. First, "visualize your best self". Hmmmmm. She encourages the readers to find a photo from a time when you looked and felt your best. Before going to bed, look at this special photo and close your eyes to visualize yourself in that place again. Also, be positive! Make statements like "I am beautiful" or "I am smart and intelligent". Repeat these statements every morning and night 5 times.

Seriously that is the craziest stuff I've heard in a long, long time. If I wanted to envision myself at some other happier stage, would that really help me feel better? I think I might just want to run back to my skinny, independent days. Why not seek Christ's contentment in what I have and where I am right now? I'm thankful for the things God has taught me over the years and wold never want to go back to being the selfish brat I used to be.What if you were never happy? I'd like to suggest before going to bed, I should close my eyes and thank God for the privilege and opportunity to have these precious kids. I should ask him for strength, wisdom and grace. Trying to parent with this new age, I'm good enough mentality is just a disaster!

If we are saved through Christ, we don't need to repeat how great we are, we just need to worship how great God is! All my self worth comes from his love and grace for me and he gives it to me freely and talks to me about it in his word. I don't have to convince myself through mind tricks that I'm smart or beautiful.

The article goes on to talk about exercising, eating right, and getting in some me-time which are important. However, my focus as a Christian Mom is to do those things so I can be healthy and used of God for His glory, not so I can focus more on me. I cringe when I read this stuff. And a lot of parents I know actually have to resort to this madness because they don't have Christ.

The truth is that it can be tempting to try this even when we do have Christ. It's so easy to let the ways of Oprah and other influences push into our world. We have to get our worth and encouragement from Christ alone. Don't let these fake and pathetic replacements in. I want to pass on a God-filled legacy to my kids, not the Stuart Smalley "you're good enough, you're smart enough and doggone it people like me". (that's an old Saturday Night Live sketch FYI for you young 'uns out there)

I Corinthians 1:30-31
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

Titus 2:11-14
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

Do It Yourself!

Sometimes you just have to let kids suffer through and wrestle with an issue. Take Grant. It's a minor one to be sure. He doesn't like jeans. He wants me to find the kind with a snap on it because it's just too much work to actually button his pants! I told him they don't sell big boy jeans with snaps. Did I mention he's in 4th grade? If he was my only kid, who knows what I would still be doing for him. I may possibly still be spoon feeding him his meals.

Last week I was at school with the little girls. I was watching Abby play on the playground through the window of the room I was in. She was jumping rope, running around and smiling. When we were leaving she was still outside, but was crying. She said she didn't feel good. I was suspicious. I walked her back in to her classroom and when her teacher asked her what was wrong she told her she didn't feel good. Her teacher asked her if it had anything to do with the paper on her desk that needed to be fixed. While I was helping her get settled down (with Maren and Annie in tow!) she told me that she accidentally threw away a paper that she needed. Did she ask the teacher for a new one? No, she was worried that she might get yelled at. She has the nicest, kindest teacher ever. I told her she needed to tell her teacher the problem. She was crying and I really wanted to jump in and just take care of it. But really, it was only coincidence that I was even there! I realized that I need to let her deal with this herself. So, with a nod from the teacher, I left her crying her little eyes out. That feels really great as a mom!

A few hours later, I got an email from the teacher that it all came out and was fine. Several other children had done the same thing and she told them where to get a new paper. Pretty simple solution!

Those growing up problems are so hard. I don't want to diminish that she really felt she had a crisis on her hands. But they have to start handling the little things on their own or they will never be able to handle anything. And that can have disastrous consequences when they are facing big challenges and crisis!

Even if the problems are as small as pants or a first grade paper.

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Are There Limits?

I've been going on and on about reaching out a lot lately. I especially have a burden to reach out to my kids' friends and their families. But is there a limit? The kids had a long weekend from school because there is some state wide teachers conference that no teachers I know go to, but we still get two days off.

Some friends of the girls called to see if they could come over for a sleep over. I don't know this family too well, but what I do know is a little iffy. The step-dad has a questionable reputation and their supervision of their kids leaves a lot to be desired. I was unsure what to do. I declined the sleepover and suggested we start with just a few hours of playing. When I saw Mike later and mentioned it to him, he was like no way - not at that house. I guess I kind of felt the same way but wasn't sure how to back out gracefully. Well, it worked out that we had plans that night anyway and couldn't do it.

So what's the right way to respond in those situations. It wasn't even an issue of pleasing or disappointing my girls because they didn't seem to care much either way. But I didn't want to be rude or come across like we are too good for them. I don't want to be overprotective but watching out for and protecting my kids is one of the most important things I need to do. It's more important than offending someone. Duh!

We got some advice from a couple in our church whose parenting we greatly respect. Their son, who is older now, had a lot of kids from rough homes in his class. They handled it by always having the kids over their house. They were able to develop a relationship with the friends and their families while protecting their son from a sinful and dangerous environment. Even though it's a pain, you know where they are and what they are doing. It seems like that is a way to strike a balance between wanting to reach out to them and at the same time protecting my own kids.

It's going to take extra work and personal sacrifice to show the love of Jesus to others. And I guess it will take a lot of prayer and wisdom to do the best thing for my kids.

Proverbs 27:12
The prudent see danger and take refuge,
but the simple keep going and suffer for it.