Sometimes you just have to let kids suffer through and wrestle with an issue. Take Grant. It's a minor one to be sure. He doesn't like jeans. He wants me to find the kind with a snap on it because it's just too much work to actually button his pants! I told him they don't sell big boy jeans with snaps. Did I mention he's in 4th grade? If he was my only kid, who knows what I would still be doing for him. I may possibly still be spoon feeding him his meals.
Last week I was at school with the little girls. I was watching Abby play on the playground through the window of the room I was in. She was jumping rope, running around and smiling. When we were leaving she was still outside, but was crying. She said she didn't feel good. I was suspicious. I walked her back in to her classroom and when her teacher asked her what was wrong she told her she didn't feel good. Her teacher asked her if it had anything to do with the paper on her desk that needed to be fixed. While I was helping her get settled down (with Maren and Annie in tow!) she told me that she accidentally threw away a paper that she needed. Did she ask the teacher for a new one? No, she was worried that she might get yelled at. She has the nicest, kindest teacher ever. I told her she needed to tell her teacher the problem. She was crying and I really wanted to jump in and just take care of it. But really, it was only coincidence that I was even there! I realized that I need to let her deal with this herself. So, with a nod from the teacher, I left her crying her little eyes out. That feels really great as a mom!
A few hours later, I got an email from the teacher that it all came out and was fine. Several other children had done the same thing and she told them where to get a new paper. Pretty simple solution!
Those growing up problems are so hard. I don't want to diminish that she really felt she had a crisis on her hands. But they have to start handling the little things on their own or they will never be able to handle anything. And that can have disastrous consequences when they are facing big challenges and crisis!
Even if the problems are as small as pants or a first grade paper.
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
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1 comment:
Hi Michelle!
It was good for me to read this...I think that my oldest will be getting to the point very soon where I'll have to be letting go a bit more and letting her figure things out.
I hope you're doing well!
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