Do They Ever Learn?

Our old couch in the basement is completely ripped and the stuffing is almost gone. I can live with that in the basement and the kids are free to use it as a trampoline, coloring book, snacking spot, balance beam or fort. But now, the upstairs couches are ripping. (Mike warned me not to buy cotton furniture again, but did I listen?) Today Annie was picking the stuffing out of a rip in our love seat. I told her no and she kept doing it. The punishment escalated at each offense and that didn't phase her. She just looked at me with her big brown eyes and went right ahead. This continued for a while. Finally, she relented and came crying to my lap. It's hard to imagine what must be going through their little heads when they do that. You would think they would just stop!

I've always thought the same thing about the Israelites in the Old Testament. They continue to walk away from God time after time, miracle after miracle. Exodus 16 is full of complaining, grumbling and disobeying. They had just been freed from slavery! (I boastfully believe that if I would have seen Him part the Red Sea I never would have wandered.) Yet he always takes them back, forgives them and helps them. I assumed God was way to soft on these idiots! Will they never learn to just follow God? But God's mercy and compassion is always there when they repent and turn back.

So, even today with Annie and the couch, when she came crying back to me I took her up in my arms and hugged her. Certainly it didn't stop me from caring for and loving her - although I was not going to stand by and let her rip my couch to shreds either! And that's the beauty of having God as an example. His mercy, grace and compassion knows no bounds. He had rules for his people, but when they repented he welcomed them back.

Sometimes it seems easier to just let my kids get away with things than using up all my energy constantly correcting them. But God demanded repentance and obedience from his people too. I think it's funny that he calls them "stiff-necked" because that kind of reminds me of a toddler and quite frankly, myself. But I think it is important for my kids to see their need for repentance, then they will experience that grace and compassion.


We have dealt with more serious issues than some stuffing from a couch already with our kids, but I'm sure as they grow the issues will get bigger and harder. But with God as our Father, his compassion and grace can overflow through us and into our kids. Even when we are fed up and feel like they will never learn, when God brings them to repentance we can be there with open arms.

And really, how could we not? I don't really like to admit all the times I have walked away from God. And yet, his love and compassion are abundant in my life. That's a lesson I need to use in my parenting!

Exodus 34:8-11

Moses bowed to the ground at once and worshiped. "O Lord, if I have found favor in your eyes," he said, "then let the Lord go with us. Although this is a stiff-necked people, forgive our wickedness and our sin, and take us as your inheritance." Then the Lord said: "I am making a covenant with you. Before all your people I will do wonders never before done in any nation in all the world. The people you live among will see how awesome is the work that I, the Lord, will do for you. Obey what I command you today. I will drive out before you the Amorites, Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites."

What Am I Singing About?

One of my favorite worship songs is "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt and Beth Redman. You know, Blessed be your name, when the sun is shining down on me, when the world is all as it should be . . . That's when it's easy to praise the Lord, when everything is as it should be or at least as I think it should be!

But then the song has to take a nasty turn to talking about the road marked with suffering and pain. Can't we just sing "Shine Jesus Shine" (you NWC alums have got to love that one!) and be happy? Actually, the authenticity of the lyrics is really what makes it great!

There is a part of that song that is taken right out of the book of Job. You give and take away, my heart will choose to say Blessed Be Your Name. When Job gets word that his children, servants and livestock have all been killed this is his reaction. "At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; May the name of the Lord be praised.'" (Job 1:20-21)

I've lived a pretty happy-go-lucky Christian life so it is hard for me to imagine how I'd deal with extreme suffering. Sure, I've had some tough times but nothing like Job. I think it's awesome to read how he worshiped God. And I'm glad that God left in there that he tore his robe and shaved his head. That shows his emotions. He didn't just shrug and praise the Lord, he hurt! But amidst the hurt, he was able to worship.

So it seems to have brought to light a few things in my life. The first is my need for control! Sometimes it is the hard moments of suffering in life that God brings us to the realization that HE is in control not us.

Also, my desire to worship God is conditional a lot. I'll worship as long as he provides for all our wants and desires, as long as I can take a beach vacation every winter, as long as it's not on the same night as American Idol, and as long as I can keep having "me time" (what's that again?) and not be inconvenienced. I've got to be able to worship all the time. Even when I don't feel like it and even when I'm hurting.

And as I'm learning and thinking about this I need to let my kids be part of the process, so that they too can learn to worship with their lives no matter what is happening: if things are good, we're going to praise the Lord. If things are tough, we're still going to fall down and worship. And sometimes I've found the good times are even dangerous because it feels like I don't need God.

So, if He has given you something that seems beyond what you can handle or has taken away something (or someone) precious, can we like Job fall to the ground in worship?


Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed by Your name in the land that is plentiful,
where your streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name.
Blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place,
though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your name.

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say,
"Blessed by the Name of the Lord, blessed be Your name.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name."

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me,
when the world's "all as it should be" blessed be Your name.
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering,
though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name.

You give and take away,
You give and take away,
My heart will choose to say,
"Lord, Blessed be your name."

by Matt and Beth Redman
c2002 Thankyou Music

Compelled

When we got to gymnastics the other day, the teacher was impressed at how fast Annie could move. Grant proceeded to tell her that not only can she move, she can boogie! Everytime music comes on, she gets down. But that's not the kind of getting down that I want to talk about.

Generally, when I hear people say that God impressed something on them or told them to do something I'm pretty skeptical. But a few days ago, I was thinking about the kids while they were at school and kind of half praying and half hoping that they were doing ok. Well, I tell you what, the Spirit impressed on me to get my bible and get on my knees. And it was so strong that I grabbed my Bible that minute and hit the ground. (go ahead and be skeptical if you must!)

There was nothing really life changing about the few minutes I spent prayer, but it was an unmistakable compelling of the Spirit. I'm not sure if I have ignored those times in the past or if I have been so out of touch with Christ that I just didn't get it, but it was really exciting to be moved like that.

Maybe it was so strong because of my half-hearted attempts at worry/praying while I was doing other things. I'm not sure, but it definitely got my attention. It didn't tell me to change my life focus, move or anything that big, but it directed my heart to God which is right where I want to be. I hope that I will be aware of those times when the Spirit is compelling me to do something. Then I hope I will get down and do it!

John 14:26
"But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit,
whom the Father will send in my name,
will teach you all things and will remind you
of everything I have said to you."

On Thin Ice

I never felt like I was an impatient person before I became a mother. But there are times when things are stressful and my teeth start to clench and I feel the temperature rising. This weekend a couple of the kids and I were sick. Cleaning up puke, a vicious diaper rash (who knew that could be such a trauma!) and a few other things made me feel pretty drained. Then back to school and back to waking up at 6:00 a.m. Mike's back to coaching football so he's been gone from early in the morning until after supper this week. My bible study plans for fall fell through so it's back to the drawing board on that. Abby is being extremely demanding. I have made a point to spend extra time with her this week. It seems the more I give, the more they demand. Annie is extrememly irritable and is only happy when she is sitting right on my lap. Today, she didn't get a nap, I didn't get the breakfast dishes cleared until after lunch and it all adds up to my patience skating on thin ice.

So when Grant and Jenna got home and started yelling and crying over a video game they were playing I lost it. I yelled that we weren't going to yell at each other. (Where's the sense in that?) They went off to their rooms crying and yelling and Abby was crying because of all the chaos. Not my finest hour as a mom. I think there are some issues that need to be dealt with in regards to video games in our house, but that was not the point. The problem was that all these strains of the last few days added together pushed me to the end of my rope and they took the brunt of it.

I don't know how to be more patient. But I do know that I want episodes like today to be extrememly rare in our home. I'll tell you what I learned about patience in the Beth Moore Bible Study Living Beyond Yourself, Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. It's been almost a year and hopefully I can apply it to my life.

There are two Greek words that translate to patience: hupomone and makrothumia. Makrothumia is the word found in Galatians 5:22. Here's the difference, hupomone is perserverance, endurance and bearing up under difficult things or circumstances inspired by a beneficial expectation. Hupomone is inspired by hope. (You can find hupomone in 1 Thess. 1:3, James 5:11 and the book of Job)

Makrothumia is patience in respect to people. Makrothumia is inspired by mercy. This type of patience, that is listed in the Fruit of the Spirit, is the result of the Holy Spirit in you. It is the most difficult and the most important.

(The previous two paragraphs are paraphrased from Beth Moore's bible study book - It's a great study!)

But what I realized is that I need to have both. I need to endure in tough circumstance like the last few days, keeping my focus on the future hope of Christ's glory. Hopefully as I look towards that and keep focused on Christ the demands and trials of this life will fade.

And I need to have compassionate mercy in the form of patience with my kids. This type of patience is not possible without the Spirit's power. I need to tap into that every day by spending some time in prayer and asking for patience.

I blew it. I asked them to forgive me for losing my patience. We had a good evening together and when we prayed I asked God to forgive me right in front of them. I think it is important for my kids to see me apologize and ask for forgiveness of them and God. It shows them the path to seeking forgiveness and restoration in their own lives.

Galatians 5:22-23
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

This Is Not What I Expected When I Was Expecting!

I thought being a mom was going to be fulfilling. Little did I know the only thing the baby would be filling was his diaper! When I envisioned bringing a baby home from the hospital it seemed like it would be loftier - I needed to be there to bond to my baby and meet his every need and thus save the world through my mothering. It would be so . . . unfulfilling!

Then the guilt sets in: I'm supposed to love this! How can I not love this? I didn't think a baby under six months did so little and demanded so much! Eat, sleep, diaper, awake at night! So monotonous, exhausting and stinky! It seemed anyone could feed the bottles and change the diapers and the baby wouldn't care right? My husband gets to escape to work - I'd like to shower, get dressed and leave the house sometimes.

I think it might be a lot more about what God is doing in me during those early months. He had to change my perspective and develop the care and compassion I would need to care for them. He taught me patience and perserverance. You need all those things when you are potty training a two year old or find someone has just colored all over your freshly painted walls. So as I learned to love and care for each child as a baby it grew right along with them!

It is such a dramatic change in life. I was no longer focused on myself and the things that used to seem important withered away. But at the same time I missed the old life: Shopping whenever, eating out, going to a movie on a whim, freedom, having money and not spending it on diapers! It seems that God keeps pressing me into this mold of His. Teaching me to quit being selfish and developing character in me that really is a miracle because I'm not naturally patient or compassionate!

However, I do think that we matter to them in the early months even though it doesn't always feel like it. When Jenna was born she was in NICU for a few days. I didn't get down there to see her until the next day. I will never forget when I sat by her bed and said, "Hi Jenna" she turned her head and looked at me. I might have had mommy mush brain but I think she recognized my voice.

I'll never forget the first time Grant smiled at me or when Abby used to cry with everyone else until I picked her up. That is what it's all about; through caring for a little baby, we see the work of God. And I find that very fulfilling!

Psalm 139:16
"All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."