I Hate Goodbyes.

I hate goodbyes.  If I never have to see one of these

in front of a friend’s house again it would be too soon.  Unless it’s because they are moving in next door to me.  The house next door is for sale, by the way.  It might be the perfect start to our commune!

This is the second time this summer we’ve said goodbye to dear friends.  I don’t handle emotion very well so I stay busy and ignore the people I am sad are moving.  It’s not like you help people move because you love lifting heavy stuff and cleaning.  If you did that you would be a professional mover.  You do it because of the love you have for them and the desire to be around them just a little longer before they must go.

This morning we were on our way to help our friends load up and I had that icky feeling in my stomach.  But I had my magic rag and mop in hand and got right to work cleaning up as they loaded.

But the time comes when you have to leave and say goodbye.  I’ve decided it’s okay to cry although I fight it so hard my whole face turns beat red.  And summer moves are great because I’m usually wearing sunglasses.

Sometimes we have to say goodbye forever when we lose someone we love to death, not just a move.  When God created man, we were meant to live forever.  In the Garden of Eden there was no death or pain until sin came into the world.  We weren’t made for goodbyes.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”  Ecclesiastes 3:11

All I could think about today was how I can’t wait for heaven.  There will be no goodbyes there.  All of us that believe in Jesus will be there together.  We’ll have the closeness we long for.  Forever worshipping our Savior.  No pain and no tears and no death. 

And I head a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them.  They will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe ever tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  Revelation 21:3-4

 

I long for that day.  For Jesus to come back.  For all of us to be together, forever. 

Because I hate goodbyes.

My Standards

I was never an animal lover.  I used to refuse to go to the chicken swap.  But my kids love animals.  Apparently, I’m a total pushover.

We went to the chicken swap this weekend.  They have puppies, bunnies, chickens and real maple syrup.  Fortunately for me and unfortunately for Annie, they didn’t have any turtles there.

How do you say no to this?  Seriously.

Don’t worry, I did.  I may be cruel and heartless.  And cheap.

We also didn’t buy a bunny because I think one is enough for right now.  They should be thrilled I think that because honestly in my mind, none is the perfect number.

If we get two before we get a second cage, we could have twenty-two before long.  Did you know that the gestation period for rabbits is like 30 seconds days?  I learned that from a six year old.

I learned at the chicken swap that there are monthly rabbit meetings.  Really.  I'll waste no time getting those on my calendar.  That way, a six year old can shame me with all the amazing things they know.  About rabbits. 

I shudder to accept the fact that we are probably joining 4H.  Because we need one more thing to do.  And because my kids want to learn about all this and I haven’t a blessed clue.

Although I am softening on the animal thing a bit, there is one hard and fast rule in our house.

We don’t

allow dogs

on the furniture.

I’ve got to have some standards.

What’s Grosser Than Gross?

Do you remember this game?  Well, now that I have five kids I feel like I am kind of an expert in gross.  Everything is quiet for the night here and I am trying to clean up a bit.  I couldn’t get this out of my head.

What’s grosser than gross?

My son’s dirty socks after cross country practice.

What’s grosser than gross?

The dirty laundry after a weekend away at Girl Scout camp.

What’s grosser than gross?

The smell of wet dog.  Even if she is sleeping peacefully on the floor.

What’s grosser than gross?

All three of those smells mixed together!

I just can’t wait to unpack the bag from the two older kids’ cabin overnights this weekend.  At least the dogs are dry right now!

Eleven

Every year when my kids celebrate their birthdays or I rack my brain trying to come up with the best ever present. That we can afford. Which narrows it down a lot. But every year it seems like we think of someone that they are going to flip out over.

I’m starting to realize that this is going to be a hard gig to keep up. I mean five kids times 18 birthdays is…I have no idea, but a lot. I’m not good with numbers. It’s a lot of great cakes, it’s a lot of decorating with balloons and streamers, it’s a lot of parties.

Every year when I think it can’t get any better, it usually does. Kind of like for Christmas this year when they got a puppy. How on earth are we going to top that next year?

The thing Jenna wanted the most for her birthday was a bunny. I told her she had way too many stuffed animals already. Oh no, she wanted a real, live bunny. The kind that needs food and a cage. They poop and pee and reproduce. Yeah that was not going to happen. I already caved to the two dogs.

The thing is Jenna is hard to buy for. She doesn’t like Barbies or girlie stuff. She doesn’t play video games. She’s got a life size stuffed animal replica of the local zoo in her bed. And we’ve bought her all the sports equipment we can think of.

I’ve tried to dress her up for pictures. And it doesn’t look right for some reason. She doesn’t want to strike a pose like the other girls.

But this, this is her.

And this.

The other thing is I adore my daughter. She is growing into a super fabulous young lady. She is (generally) patient and gentle with her sisters.

She has a zest for life that is contagious.

She can do anything. Every year I think it cannot possibly get better. But it does. I love her so much already it seems impossible to grow that anymore. But we do.

Our relationship is growing in depth. We’ve had to talk about more serious issues and we have lots of fun. It’s a joy to do things with her and be around her and her friends. I’ll take it all. The good, the bad. The ugly, the sad. It really just keeps getting better.

Because of that I came to the conclusion that her gifts should keep getting better and better no matter what. So this is what she got for her birthday. Did I mention that bunnies are very reasonably priced?

Mike thought she should name him Stew, but she chose Buttons. Buttons is in his new cage happily being hand fed little chunks of carrots.

Next year maybe I’ll have to find a giraffe or a horse. By the time she’s fifteen maybe it’ll be a birthday party to the moon. And that’s fine. I think the gifts should match how much I love her. My love just keeps getting bigger and better and the best is yet to come.

When I’m Losing My Patience

There are days when it takes every last bit of patience I have to raise my kids.  Or even be with them in the car for five minutes. Just today, I had the blessed experience of taking my youngest two to the store.  It should have been a quick, in and out trip.  But,

Maren was so upset about the cart situation that we had to leave three times.  Annie wanted to play the stupid crane games and was trying to put pennies in while I was dealing with Maren.   We painfully, slowly proceeded to make our way through the store.  With stops at the movie bin, the fabric and pet departments.  I guess my kids don’t know me that well, but I have no business in the craft or pet departments. 

They talked non-stop.  I had to battle Maren to buckle up.  I asked many times for them to load up in the van.  We battled bed time and teeth brushing and hair brushing.  They bugged me while I was having a meeting this morning, refused to get dressed and made some big messes.  On days like these, I wonder why God didn’t give these wonderful children to a more patient woman.  I had to hold myself back from screaming my head off more than a few times today.

When I was frustrated and felt the urge to scream, I was reminded of some other things that happened in the last 24 hours. 

The girls got to come to a shower with me and hold a baby last night.  Mike and Grant had a guys night out.  I got my morning cuddle.  I went looking for Maren and Annie and found them all cuddled up in bed together listening to the radio.  Buddy was curled up in between them. 

Annie caught a frog.  She came running in exclaiming she thought it was a rock and then it jumped.  She tried to build a habitat for it in the backyard but had to free it in the end.

Annie won a stuffed animal in the stupid claw games at the store.  We didn’t put any money in.  You would think she won the lottery.

Abby and Annie helped me do my birthday elf work.  We blew up balloons, hung streamers and wrapped presents. 

Jenna and Grant willingly went to bed early!  Jenna did it so the birthday elf could come.  Grant is growing so fast he’s always tired these days. 

It seems that if I could focus on the wonderful, fabulous, precious moments of mommyhood that I wouldn’t miss for the world in those horribly frustrating moments, I might be able to bridge the gap.  I don’t have to let a few battles and frustrations derail my day or week. 

Just the fact that God allowed me to have these special little people in my life is more than I deserve.  So at the store and at bedtime, I was able to be grateful and focus on those special times I want to remember forever.  I had to be stern, but did not scream.  I didn’t lose my patience and I’m glad because it was not a horrible day.  Not at all.

The truth is that soon enough, there will be no one to go to the store with.  My three older kids already have no interest in coming.  Then I really will be in and out in 20 minutes.  I won’t have to battle anyone over the kind of cart we get or the kind of paper plates we buy.  And I think that will be pretty…miserable and lonely.