Oh Joy!

Yesterday was just a tough day! Jenna missed the bus - we couldn't find her shoes - her new shoes - because they were left outside by the trampoline in the rain, Abby had attitude issues, Annie was needy and didn't take a nap and Maren was fussy. Grant the laid back one was in the mix somewhere too. Mike got home from football late. We didn't eat dinner until 6:45 which is way too late when you want to get homework done and kids in bed early. I did 8 or 9 loads of laundry. Needless to say I didn't smile a lot.

A couple of weeks ago my mom was here and the little girls had doctors appointments. Afterwards we made the always popular and healthy stop at McDonalds. While we were there a family came in with five or six kids. The Mom was very cranky and looked like she was miserable. Maybe they were having the kind of day I had yesterday, but it was kind of a spectacle and I don't think she smiled once while they were there.

My Dad sends me all his weekly memos he sends to his staff and he'll be happy to know I actually do read them. In one he was talking about a guy he met that drives an airport shuttle. It may not be a dream job, but this guy had joy in his job and it was kind of contagious. Isn't that the way we should be about our job as moms - enthusiastically joyful? I don't want to be like the poor mom at McDonalds! It really is the best and most important job in the world and I don't want to do anything else. But most days it can feel like drudgery and torture. I will say that I would be a better mother if I didn't have to cook, clean and do laundry but those seem to come along with the job.

So I prayed for joy. Not that it will always be FUN, but that I will approach motherhood with a mission and joy that I'm doing something really important. Even when faced with large piles of laundry I need to remember that I'm serving an important need of my family.

I also wonder what kind of impact I can have for Christ when other people see me raising my kids and enjoying it! I need to let the joy and love of Christ pour through me and onto my family.

Yesterday, I walked out to the bus stop with Abby, Annie and Maren. It was nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air. The bus came and we walked along the road watching our neighbors horses, goats, cow and llamas (crazy animals!). I immediately relaxed and enjoyed watching the girls (ok - Grant didn't want to come with us and went home to play video games!) picking rocks, running, laughing - it was a great way to spend some of our afternoon hours.

Today I was intentional about spending time with Annie. We read many books including Goodnight Moon about 20 times. She loves to paint and draw which I realized by accident when she was trying to steal the stuff away from Abby while she worked on a little project for school. I need to slow down so we can do those kind of things together and THAT is where the joy comes for me.

I've been realizing that I am going to have 4 girls in the junior high and high school stage in a few years. That is a frightening thought to me. I have been dreading it already, complaining about it, telling people I will have to go on medication to cope (which may actually be true). But I think God showed me that is a bad approach. He has blessed us with 4 beautiful girls and each stage will have its challenges, but there will also be great things! They are such fun and unique kids why do I want to talk about them that way? That's not joyful at all. And I'm guessing that its probably not good if they were to pick up on that attitude either.

There will be bad days, temper tantrums, fights, messes and lots of unpleasant things ( did I mention I'm doing this all without the help of Diet Coke?) but ultimately it is such a blessing to be the one that is here with the kids during the good, the bad and the ugly!


Psalm 33:4-5

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

Proverbs 10:28
The Prospect of the righteous is joy,
but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The Things They Learn in Kindergarten!

Well, Abby has successfully completed her first few weeks of Kindergarten. She hasn't been too hard to get out the door. But on Wednesday, I was getting ready to have my Bible study group over for lunch and kind of stressing about getting the last few things done. Wouldn't you know it the school nurse called and said Abby was in her office. It seems they were talking about what to do if you get sick at school and all of a sudden she was sick! She was a little pale but no fever! Isn't that a coincidence! So what's a mother to do? I went to pick her up. Maybe she really wasn't feeling good, maybe it was nerves who knows? But after lunch we didn't let her watch any T.V. or go outside. I wanted her to learn that if she is not in school, she is resting in bed or playing quietly. At about 2:15 she had made a miraculous recovery and was ready to go back!

Today, she came home with something really important in her pocket. It was from her friend who goes to our church. It was a deposit slip from her Mom and Dad's checkbook! I thought it was kind of funny but did call and let them know what their little banker was up to just in case she handed a bunch of them out with their account number and all. All I ever brought home from Kindergarten were popsicle stick crafts!

Dry and Weary

I haven't been writing a lot lately as you can tell! We have had a lot of hustle and bustle around our house lately: back to school, crying baby, house renovations, garden produce and a two year old who makes a total mess out of everything. I have been feeling really overwhelmed! It seems our hampers are always overflowing, we always need groceries, there is always something being spilled or ripped or lost and I seem to be floating from crisis to crisis not really accomplishing anything. We've had some tight financial times lately with a few things piling up on us at once. We fall into bed at night exhausted. I've been wondering is this what life is going to be like? Stressful, exhausting and busy? I hope not because there isn't too much joy living that way.

It seems like in these tough times - and times that are a lot tougher I'm sure - I should be relying on God and resting in His promises more than ever. But that never seems to be the case with me! It's in the hard and stressful times that I have the most dry spiritual times. So of course, I didn't have too much to share on my blog, or with my husband or kids or anyone else!

I guess when the sun is shining, there is money in the bank and we are healthy it is easy to go to our heavenly Father. But somehow when things are tough or stressful I run away from the very thing I need most. If I'm not growing and enjoying my relationship with Christ, nothing is worthwhile and so I become even more dry and more weary.

So through many circumstances; some amazing provision and some heart softening, I feel like maybe God is calling me back in from my dry and weary spiritual condition. It's such a joy and a relief! Apart from Christ I can do nothing and that is the truth! I hope if you are dry and weary, you seek out the joy of the heavenly Father.

Here are the words to one of my favorite worship songs:

Heart of the Heavens

Lonely desert below, Barren soil 'neath the sky
Only death in the wind, every echo is dry
Hills and valleys on fire, mere memories of life
Parched and thirsty by day, no relief in the night.

Hunger cries in the heart, groanings reach up touching heaven
buried hopes start to tremble and breathe again
Deep longing is heard, all waiting will cease
For the Heart of the heavens in love

The sky smiles on the earth, releases living rains
great clouds of mercy empty, one gives one gains
And both are satisfied, the desert and the sky
for the Heart of the heavens in love.

Such tears of grace pour, streams swell into a river
Wonder of divine reflection, the needy and the Giver
And both are satisfied, the desert and the sky
For the Heart of the heavens, the God of the heavens
For the Heart of the heavens in love.

by Sheila and Emily Davidson
copyright 2003 Vineyard Songs Canada

Wow!

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Wow! It's been awhile again! We got through VBS and now we are frantically trying to finish up the construction in our basement. We are getting there - extra bedroom and bathroom space will be a great blessing to our family!

Our little baby Maren has been an unhappy baby. She cries a lot and it generally unsettled. Someone mentioned to me at conference that I should try cutting things out of my diet to see if certain foods were bothering her. Why didn't I think of that? I've had five kids but I always ate anything while I was nursing and it didn't seem to affect them at all. So I started with chocolate (this is a huge sacrifice for me - I actually used to eat MnM's and Diet Coke for breakfast - My college roomies can vouch for that!), caffeine (bye-bye diet coke), onions or anything spicy and tomatoey stuff. That seemed to help a lot. Mike suggested I try knocking out dairy for a few days to see if that helped. And it did! She is like a different kid. But I am kind of sad that there isn't much I can eat. I actually have to have Soy Milk on my cereal!

But it is all worth it to not have a screaming baby all the time - I just wish I would have figured it out earlier. Two other side benefits I've noticed is that my face has totally cleared up - no break outs for a long time. I thought zits were supposed to end with the teenage years but maybe eating 25 chocolate chip cookies a day contributed to the problem! Also, I think this might help me shed some of the baby weight I've gained over the last 8 years. I do really miss my MnM's though.

So I was thinking about the old phrase "Garbage In, Garbage Out". It seems to be true of what we put in our bodies, I know it is true with what we put in our minds in the way of TV and movies. I think as parents we try to guard our kids by limiting the things they can see on TV or the hours they can play video games or the people they can be around, but I've realized that I can be a big contributor to the "garbage" in our lives.

We had to run to Wal-Mart and a few other places after VBS one day. I was tired and didn't want to do errands. It was HOT and I was crabby. I was annoyed with the slow pace we were on and I was short with the kids. It was miserable for all of us! I realized half way through the store that I was the one contributing the bad vibes for the day. If I am calm and patient and happy, everyone else seems to be too (ok - not always) but it increases the likelihood of a good afternoon - especially if we are able to avoid the Toy section!

I also have realized that I need to react and respond to my kids much more with grace and love. That seems obvious but it is easy when things happen throughout the day from fights to injuries, to spills to react with anger and annoyance rather than love and grace. In a lot of those situations our kids are hurting and need comfort and encouragement from us. But it is hard to stop and think of that when someone is bleeding, someone is yelling and someone is crying while you are trying to get supper on the table.

I guess I need to make it a priority in my morning to put my day and attitude before the Lord and ask for help, calm, joy and maybe a babysitter so I can do errands alone!

1 Peter 3:8
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble."

Job Description

There are a lot of things that could be in my job description: Taxi driver, baker, cleaning lady, laundry person, diaper changer, ice cream eater and a lot of other practical stuff. I get so wrapped up in keeping up with that stuff that I overlook the most important part of my job description.

We have two kids that are going to be baptized in August. Of course, we are really happy about the fact that they have chosen to follow Christ as any good Christian parent would be. Some kids seem to have a desire for Christ, the Bible and other spiritual things early and it comes naturally. That's been our experience with our oldest ones. But now we have a different experience. We have a daughter that flat out says she does not believe in God - A heart breaking statement to me. When asked why, she says it is because she doesn't want to die. I can understand that - who wants to die? We've explained to her that everyone must die and that if we trust Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins we'll get to be with Him forever. That has not swayed this young lady's opinion.

So what do we do? Mike is a PASTOR for crying out loud! And honestly I just want to be comforted by hearing her say the right words so I don't have to worry. Too bad that is faulty thinking. I know she will have to work through this. I don't want her to just tell us what we want to hear, I want her to genuinely believe. So I guess I should appreciate the honesty. My temptation is to say oh you do too and move on, but I know we need to openly communicate about this stuff.

I was reminded of something by the speaker at our Village Missions conference. Do you know how God spells success? It's F-A-I-T-H-F-U-L. My job is to be faithful to God and his calling on my life as a parent, wife, pastor's wife and child of God. The results are up to Him.

Now I know my kids are young and they probably don't fully comprehend everything that goes into Salvation yet. But it made me realize something. I spend way too much time worrying and working on the temporal things and way too little time (sometimes NO time) on my knees before the Lord on behalf of my kids and their salvation. And of course that is the most important thing I should be doing - I know that - so why don't I DO IT?

I know that no matter how much Christian stuff we do, God has to work in their hearts. And he's working on mine too and rebuking my screwed up priorities. It's humbling and scary to see the job God has given us to guide our kids spiritual lives. And maybe that is why I don't want to talk or pray about it because it is a lot easier to focus on laundry and getting to baseball practice.

Romans 9:16
It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.