There are a lot of things that could be in my job description: Taxi driver, baker, cleaning lady, laundry person, diaper changer, ice cream eater and a lot of other practical stuff. I get so wrapped up in keeping up with that stuff that I overlook the most important part of my job description.
We have two kids that are going to be baptized in August. Of course, we are really happy about the fact that they have chosen to follow Christ as any good Christian parent would be. Some kids seem to have a desire for Christ, the Bible and other spiritual things early and it comes naturally. That's been our experience with our oldest ones. But now we have a different experience. We have a daughter that flat out says she does not believe in God - A heart breaking statement to me. When asked why, she says it is because she doesn't want to die. I can understand that - who wants to die? We've explained to her that everyone must die and that if we trust Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins we'll get to be with Him forever. That has not swayed this young lady's opinion.
So what do we do? Mike is a PASTOR for crying out loud! And honestly I just want to be comforted by hearing her say the right words so I don't have to worry. Too bad that is faulty thinking. I know she will have to work through this. I don't want her to just tell us what we want to hear, I want her to genuinely believe. So I guess I should appreciate the honesty. My temptation is to say oh you do too and move on, but I know we need to openly communicate about this stuff.
I was reminded of something by the speaker at our Village Missions conference. Do you know how God spells success? It's F-A-I-T-H-F-U-L. My job is to be faithful to God and his calling on my life as a parent, wife, pastor's wife and child of God. The results are up to Him.
Now I know my kids are young and they probably don't fully comprehend everything that goes into Salvation yet. But it made me realize something. I spend way too much time worrying and working on the temporal things and way too little time (sometimes NO time) on my knees before the Lord on behalf of my kids and their salvation. And of course that is the most important thing I should be doing - I know that - so why don't I DO IT?
I know that no matter how much Christian stuff we do, God has to work in their hearts. And he's working on mine too and rebuking my screwed up priorities. It's humbling and scary to see the job God has given us to guide our kids spiritual lives. And maybe that is why I don't want to talk or pray about it because it is a lot easier to focus on laundry and getting to baseball practice.
Romans 9:16
It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Teamwork
Marriage is a funny thing. Sometimes after a few years we go from love to loathe. I know some women who actually seem to loathe their husbands. I love my hubby but sometimes I fall into that trap of thinking of him last or blaming him for everything I can. Marriage is important to God because we are supposed to mirror the image of Christ and his bride, the church. Most of the time I don't do so well as an ambassador of the image of Christ. It is good to remember that our kids are watching us and so are a lot of other people.
When we were in the hospital having Maren, Mike was following behind me picking up my clothes, getting the stuff put away, and doing everything like clockwork to help me out. Our labor nurse told us she was divorced but we showed her what marriage should be like. Wow! I was shocked because usually when we get into high stress situations we argue a lot. As our conversation went on we talked about how Mike was a Pastor and I thought I am really glad that we were mirroring Christ and she saw it. A lot of times I forget that those everyday situations can be an opportunity to show Christ to others.
Our kids are watching us too. They know when things are tense between us and it affects everyone. We try to use that to teach them that God's plan is to have a Mom and a Dad married and working together to raise the family. Sometimes they get irritated at our teamwork when we keep giving them the same unified answer or say what did Dad say? But I think in the end they will appreciate knowing that we are united.
We were just at our annual Village Missions conference (ok -I wrote this a few months ago and now I trying to catch up :)). There was a couple there that has grown kids and grandkids. One day someone said to them you guys match! They both had yellow shirts and white pants on. They said we plan it, we go shopping and buy matching outfits. Normally I would think that was really cheesy, but it was so cool to see them still enjoying each other, having fun together and serving alongside each other.
Sometimes I think we set ourselves short. When we were getting ready to go on our trip, Mike said I'm looking forward to traveling, it's our thing. And we do work well together - getting things packed up, taking the kids to the bathroom, getting diapers changed, driving for each other at our sleepy time of the day! It would be chaos for me to try to take a road trip without him. And he'd have a tough time feeding Maren without me:)
When we are working together things go so much more smoothly. I was humbled to hear a woman pray this week thanking God for her husband. They have been married for 30 plus years and she is still in love with him. When you see them together, they show such great care and respect. Sometimes I feel like maybe we won't need each other as much when the kids get older, but I hope we can be like the couples we saw this week. Still in love and reflecting the love of Christ in our marriage.
I think at times we as women can stand in the way of teamwork, especially in regards to parenting. I know because we do most of the work with the kids, sometimes it is hard to let our husbands in. We can alienate them and make them feel like they aren't doing is exactly our way. I've seen that result in very uninvolved Dads at times. Or we can totally dump on our husbands and expect them to do everything when they get home. We can emotionally check out. Sometimes we need a break but I have to remember that he's been at work all day too. Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking that when he leaves for work, it is free time for him just because he is away from the house.
I think as my marriage and parenting progresses I am trying to find a balance. Working together on a lot of tasks and parenting stuff, but also serving him by letting him take a rest after dinner, going to do something special with one of the older kids or playing basketball at open gym night.
God knew what he was doing when we put us together - I just have to get with the program!
Genesis 2:20-22
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
When we were in the hospital having Maren, Mike was following behind me picking up my clothes, getting the stuff put away, and doing everything like clockwork to help me out. Our labor nurse told us she was divorced but we showed her what marriage should be like. Wow! I was shocked because usually when we get into high stress situations we argue a lot. As our conversation went on we talked about how Mike was a Pastor and I thought I am really glad that we were mirroring Christ and she saw it. A lot of times I forget that those everyday situations can be an opportunity to show Christ to others.
Our kids are watching us too. They know when things are tense between us and it affects everyone. We try to use that to teach them that God's plan is to have a Mom and a Dad married and working together to raise the family. Sometimes they get irritated at our teamwork when we keep giving them the same unified answer or say what did Dad say? But I think in the end they will appreciate knowing that we are united.
We were just at our annual Village Missions conference (ok -I wrote this a few months ago and now I trying to catch up :)). There was a couple there that has grown kids and grandkids. One day someone said to them you guys match! They both had yellow shirts and white pants on. They said we plan it, we go shopping and buy matching outfits. Normally I would think that was really cheesy, but it was so cool to see them still enjoying each other, having fun together and serving alongside each other.
Sometimes I think we set ourselves short. When we were getting ready to go on our trip, Mike said I'm looking forward to traveling, it's our thing. And we do work well together - getting things packed up, taking the kids to the bathroom, getting diapers changed, driving for each other at our sleepy time of the day! It would be chaos for me to try to take a road trip without him. And he'd have a tough time feeding Maren without me:)
When we are working together things go so much more smoothly. I was humbled to hear a woman pray this week thanking God for her husband. They have been married for 30 plus years and she is still in love with him. When you see them together, they show such great care and respect. Sometimes I feel like maybe we won't need each other as much when the kids get older, but I hope we can be like the couples we saw this week. Still in love and reflecting the love of Christ in our marriage.
I think at times we as women can stand in the way of teamwork, especially in regards to parenting. I know because we do most of the work with the kids, sometimes it is hard to let our husbands in. We can alienate them and make them feel like they aren't doing is exactly our way. I've seen that result in very uninvolved Dads at times. Or we can totally dump on our husbands and expect them to do everything when they get home. We can emotionally check out. Sometimes we need a break but I have to remember that he's been at work all day too. Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking that when he leaves for work, it is free time for him just because he is away from the house.
I think as my marriage and parenting progresses I am trying to find a balance. Working together on a lot of tasks and parenting stuff, but also serving him by letting him take a rest after dinner, going to do something special with one of the older kids or playing basketball at open gym night.
God knew what he was doing when we put us together - I just have to get with the program!
Genesis 2:20-22
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Oh, The Horror!
It was like something out of a horror movie. My swimsuit was ruined and I had to do the unthinkable - swimsuit shopping! AHHHHHHH! Not only is that always a scary job, the price tag has gotten scary too! What happened to the $9.99 rack? Not even Wal-Mart sells them that cheap. So I set out to try some on and buy one before I had to swim at swimming lessons and head out on our trip. I tried on at least 30 different suits (nursing in the fitting room in between) and I didn't like a single one! Now, I want to say that it was because there are no cute swimsuits out there, but the truth of the matter is that I don't like the way my body looks in any swimsuit. I mean, come one, I just had my fifth baby is eight years! I'm in my thirties now, my VERY early thirties, but still I'm not 18 anymore and a lot has changed. I ended up buying a cheap suit at Wal-Mart, but at least I one-upped my friend who wore her maternity suit (she's not pregnant) and pinned it in in several key places.
Even my skinny friends- trust me I have some - that are probably a size 2 don't like how they look in their swimsuits. Why do we as women struggle with body image? I just want someone to come out in their swimsuit and say, "I think I look Great!" I don't think that happens very often.
I want to teach my kids, specifically my girls, to take care of their bodies. They are God's creation. But I want them to be free and not be obsessed with how they look especially as we move into the preteen and teenage years. It seems the way to do that is to help them focus on their inner qualities and learn that their hearts are the most important thing and that they are valuable to God and He loves them for who they are - not what they look like!
I suppose they also take cues from me. If I am overly sensitive about my outward appearance, they will be too. Some people are ALWAYS wanting to lose weight and unhappy with how they look. I think they look awesome. But if that is all I talk about and worry about, it could be easily picked up by my little girl audience.
Sometimes I am tempted to not swim and have fun with my family just to avoid the dreaded swimsuit. Or not dress nice (I need to remind myself that Pajama pants are for SLEEPING in) or take care of myself because I don't like how I look. Or not play baseball or soccer because I am out of shape. But that's not freedom.
I swam at a water park in March with my family and I was very pregnant. I proudly wore my thrift store maternity swimsuit and played in the water. Pregnancy is probably the one time that I don't have to worry about if I look fat in my suit because I know I do and I don't care! Tonight I had a blast swimming with the kids in my Wal-Mart suit. I think I went down the waterslide at least 50 times laughing and screaming. I don't want to miss out on that stuff just because of a little or a lot of baby fat and a cheap swimsuit!
Sometimes we catch the show "America's Got Talent". It's a cheesy form of American Idol. David Hasselhoff is one of the judges - need I say more? Anyway, they had a singing group on this week that described themselves as a Plus-Sized version of some girl band. I have no idea who the group is, but they were all glammed up and they were not thin. But they were happy and comfortable with the way they looked. And they could actually sing. They said they wanted to win the competition for real women everywhere. They were living life and they are going to Vegas!
So, even though I hope to shed some of those extra pounds in the near future, (rice cakes anyone?) it shouldn't stop me from living life now. I hope to transfer that into a spiritual lesson for the girls. Our confidence and image comes from Christ and He thinks we are so valuable that He died for us. It doesn't get much better than that! Get out there are SWIM!
1 Corithians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body .
Even my skinny friends- trust me I have some - that are probably a size 2 don't like how they look in their swimsuits. Why do we as women struggle with body image? I just want someone to come out in their swimsuit and say, "I think I look Great!" I don't think that happens very often.
I want to teach my kids, specifically my girls, to take care of their bodies. They are God's creation. But I want them to be free and not be obsessed with how they look especially as we move into the preteen and teenage years. It seems the way to do that is to help them focus on their inner qualities and learn that their hearts are the most important thing and that they are valuable to God and He loves them for who they are - not what they look like!
I suppose they also take cues from me. If I am overly sensitive about my outward appearance, they will be too. Some people are ALWAYS wanting to lose weight and unhappy with how they look. I think they look awesome. But if that is all I talk about and worry about, it could be easily picked up by my little girl audience.
Sometimes I am tempted to not swim and have fun with my family just to avoid the dreaded swimsuit. Or not dress nice (I need to remind myself that Pajama pants are for SLEEPING in) or take care of myself because I don't like how I look. Or not play baseball or soccer because I am out of shape. But that's not freedom.
I swam at a water park in March with my family and I was very pregnant. I proudly wore my thrift store maternity swimsuit and played in the water. Pregnancy is probably the one time that I don't have to worry about if I look fat in my suit because I know I do and I don't care! Tonight I had a blast swimming with the kids in my Wal-Mart suit. I think I went down the waterslide at least 50 times laughing and screaming. I don't want to miss out on that stuff just because of a little or a lot of baby fat and a cheap swimsuit!
Sometimes we catch the show "America's Got Talent". It's a cheesy form of American Idol. David Hasselhoff is one of the judges - need I say more? Anyway, they had a singing group on this week that described themselves as a Plus-Sized version of some girl band. I have no idea who the group is, but they were all glammed up and they were not thin. But they were happy and comfortable with the way they looked. And they could actually sing. They said they wanted to win the competition for real women everywhere. They were living life and they are going to Vegas!
So, even though I hope to shed some of those extra pounds in the near future, (rice cakes anyone?) it shouldn't stop me from living life now. I hope to transfer that into a spiritual lesson for the girls. Our confidence and image comes from Christ and He thinks we are so valuable that He died for us. It doesn't get much better than that! Get out there are SWIM!
1 Corithians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body .
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Day by Day
People always say raising a family is expensive and I believe them. I can not believe the massive amounts of food, clothing, diapers, toilet paper and shoes (ok I'll admit it, most of the shoes are mine) we consume in our house! Our kids are literally ALWAYS hungry. We go through an entire loaf of bread at lunchtime every day. It's unbelievable.
As they eat, they grow and need new clothes and shoes. They need school stuff and want to be involved in sports and clubs that cost money. It costs thousands of dollars just to deliver a baby. They get ear infections and need surgery. They need to go to the dentist, they need retainers and possibly braces. Is it getting hot in here? Thinking about it all makes me feel breathless at times. How are we possibly going to be able to afford this? They are only going to eat more and need more, and have more expensive needs as they get older. I have visions of prom dresses, drivers licenses, graduations, college tuition and wedding dresses (4 GIRLS!) All good times and happy occasions to be sure but it won't be easy to foot the bill! The world must think we are insane. We don't make nearly enough money to support a big family. We only have one income. Sometimes I think we are insane too!
The old song "one day at a time, sweet Jesus" rings true to me on this one. God has always faithfully provided for us. I don't know how he will provide 6 months from now, but he'll provide what we need for each day. I think I keep getting too far ahead of things and it causes a mild panic attack. But God tells us over and over again to trust Him for what we need. He'll meet our needs as they come and it's always amazing to me how He does it. Now of course, He's given me a brain and I have to be responsible. I can't just go buy a Hummer and think He'll provide. I just need to look to Him each day and serve Him and trust Him for what I need. That's so refreshing to me!
Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like on of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father know that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
As they eat, they grow and need new clothes and shoes. They need school stuff and want to be involved in sports and clubs that cost money. It costs thousands of dollars just to deliver a baby. They get ear infections and need surgery. They need to go to the dentist, they need retainers and possibly braces. Is it getting hot in here? Thinking about it all makes me feel breathless at times. How are we possibly going to be able to afford this? They are only going to eat more and need more, and have more expensive needs as they get older. I have visions of prom dresses, drivers licenses, graduations, college tuition and wedding dresses (4 GIRLS!) All good times and happy occasions to be sure but it won't be easy to foot the bill! The world must think we are insane. We don't make nearly enough money to support a big family. We only have one income. Sometimes I think we are insane too!
The old song "one day at a time, sweet Jesus" rings true to me on this one. God has always faithfully provided for us. I don't know how he will provide 6 months from now, but he'll provide what we need for each day. I think I keep getting too far ahead of things and it causes a mild panic attack. But God tells us over and over again to trust Him for what we need. He'll meet our needs as they come and it's always amazing to me how He does it. Now of course, He's given me a brain and I have to be responsible. I can't just go buy a Hummer and think He'll provide. I just need to look to Him each day and serve Him and trust Him for what I need. That's so refreshing to me!
Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like on of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father know that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
A Dream Come True
This winter one of Mike's lifelong dreams came true: he got to buy a full size Ford van. We used to have a really nice looking metallic minivan that I liked to drive. I wasn't very excited about supersizing my vehicle, however I tried to stay out of the decision making process (except for demanding a DVD player - which actually turned out to be a VCR so my demands again went unmet!). The van actually isn't as bad to drive as I thought it would be and thankfully they have semi parking available at Wal-Mart, the only place I shop.
However, this winter when I was going to my ob doctor often, I didn't want to drive the van because it felt so big to drive downtown and park in a ramp. So, trying to beat the problem I chose to drive our Saturn. There are some nice saturns out there no doubt, but ours does not qualify. It has power NOTHING - honestly, not even power steering. But I hopped in there, which was no easy task pregnant as I was, and set off for the doctors. While I was driving I noticed the steering wheel shaking a bit. Once I got on the freeway it got dramatically worse. I could only drive about 50 miles a hour and my hands were numb. On the way home it got even worse and I was putsing along at about 40 miles per hour.
I was so mad! Isn't this just typical? Can't drive one car because it is too big and the little car is a piece of junk that shakes violently when you drive. Well, it turns out it was only snow stuck up in the wheel and when it melted it was fine. But it got me thinking very angrily about how nothing in my life is right. The cars, my couches that are ripped, my dishes that are chipped and many are missing since they have been broken, my towels that are ripping and stringy and smell kind of mucky, my stained carpet, and the list goes on and on. I was having a pretty good pity party shaking along down the road.
More recently it has been my closet and lack of wardrobe that fits that is a problem. We met my family for my Dad's birthday last week and my swimsuit had some problems. The little skirt had totally stretched out and would puff up in the hot tub - great enterntainment for the kids though! Then my Mom said I think it is a little thin and see through on the top too. So I threw it away to reduce the risk of a wardrobe malfunction! Now I have no swimsuit and need one for family swim day at swimming lessons this week.
I can't figure out how I let myself get so focused on material things. I know I should be thankful that we have cars and couches and dishes and towels. Why is it so hard to not focus on the negative? We all know that, but it doesn't always seem to satisfy those nagging feelings of wanting more, needing more and needing the best. I know I have far more in Christ than this world can offer. I know my family is more valuable than all the new things I could ever desire.
I've also realized that the good news is I don't freak out when a dish gets handled by a 2 year old or when the couch gets spit up on or jumped on. I don't care when the bath towels are used in a science experiment or as a batman cape. I guess if everything was new and exactly as I wanted it there would be no room for living - especially with kids in the house!
I'm trying to learn to worry less about "stuff" which helps me enjoy life more. And I can laugh when I'm cruising down the road in my huge van or little Saturn that's jerking everywhere because it's not the end of the world, there are more important things in life- and it will make a good blog!
1 Thessalonions 1:8-10
The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia - your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead - Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
However, this winter when I was going to my ob doctor often, I didn't want to drive the van because it felt so big to drive downtown and park in a ramp. So, trying to beat the problem I chose to drive our Saturn. There are some nice saturns out there no doubt, but ours does not qualify. It has power NOTHING - honestly, not even power steering. But I hopped in there, which was no easy task pregnant as I was, and set off for the doctors. While I was driving I noticed the steering wheel shaking a bit. Once I got on the freeway it got dramatically worse. I could only drive about 50 miles a hour and my hands were numb. On the way home it got even worse and I was putsing along at about 40 miles per hour.
I was so mad! Isn't this just typical? Can't drive one car because it is too big and the little car is a piece of junk that shakes violently when you drive. Well, it turns out it was only snow stuck up in the wheel and when it melted it was fine. But it got me thinking very angrily about how nothing in my life is right. The cars, my couches that are ripped, my dishes that are chipped and many are missing since they have been broken, my towels that are ripping and stringy and smell kind of mucky, my stained carpet, and the list goes on and on. I was having a pretty good pity party shaking along down the road.
More recently it has been my closet and lack of wardrobe that fits that is a problem. We met my family for my Dad's birthday last week and my swimsuit had some problems. The little skirt had totally stretched out and would puff up in the hot tub - great enterntainment for the kids though! Then my Mom said I think it is a little thin and see through on the top too. So I threw it away to reduce the risk of a wardrobe malfunction! Now I have no swimsuit and need one for family swim day at swimming lessons this week.
I can't figure out how I let myself get so focused on material things. I know I should be thankful that we have cars and couches and dishes and towels. Why is it so hard to not focus on the negative? We all know that, but it doesn't always seem to satisfy those nagging feelings of wanting more, needing more and needing the best. I know I have far more in Christ than this world can offer. I know my family is more valuable than all the new things I could ever desire.
I've also realized that the good news is I don't freak out when a dish gets handled by a 2 year old or when the couch gets spit up on or jumped on. I don't care when the bath towels are used in a science experiment or as a batman cape. I guess if everything was new and exactly as I wanted it there would be no room for living - especially with kids in the house!
I'm trying to learn to worry less about "stuff" which helps me enjoy life more. And I can laugh when I'm cruising down the road in my huge van or little Saturn that's jerking everywhere because it's not the end of the world, there are more important things in life- and it will make a good blog!
1 Thessalonions 1:8-10
The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia - your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead - Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
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