Monday, July 16, 2007


Marriage is a funny thing. Sometimes after a few years we go from love to loathe. I know some women who actually seem to loathe their husbands. I love my hubby but sometimes I fall into that trap of thinking of him last or blaming him for everything I can. Marriage is important to God because we are supposed to mirror the image of Christ and his bride, the church. Most of the time I don't do so well as an ambassador of the image of Christ. It is good to remember that our kids are watching us and so are a lot of other people.

When we were in the hospital having Maren, Mike was following behind me picking up my clothes, getting the stuff put away, and doing everything like clockwork to help me out. Our labor nurse told us she was divorced but we showed her what marriage should be like. Wow! I was shocked because usually when we get into high stress situations we argue a lot. As our conversation went on we talked about how Mike was a Pastor and I thought I am really glad that we were mirroring Christ and she saw it. A lot of times I forget that those everyday situations can be an opportunity to show Christ to others.

Our kids are watching us too. They know when things are tense between us and it affects everyone. We try to use that to teach them that God's plan is to have a Mom and a Dad married and working together to raise the family. Sometimes they get irritated at our teamwork when we keep giving them the same unified answer or say what did Dad say? But I think in the end they will appreciate knowing that we are united.

We were just at our annual Village Missions conference (ok -I wrote this a few months ago and now I trying to catch up :)). There was a couple there that has grown kids and grandkids. One day someone said to them you guys match! They both had yellow shirts and white pants on. They said we plan it, we go shopping and buy matching outfits. Normally I would think that was really cheesy, but it was so cool to see them still enjoying each other, having fun together and serving alongside each other.

Sometimes I think we set ourselves short. When we were getting ready to go on our trip, Mike said I'm looking forward to traveling, it's our thing. And we do work well together - getting things packed up, taking the kids to the bathroom, getting diapers changed, driving for each other at our sleepy time of the day! It would be chaos for me to try to take a road trip without him. And he'd have a tough time feeding Maren without me:)

When we are working together things go so much more smoothly. I was humbled to hear a woman pray this week thanking God for her husband. They have been married for 30 plus years and she is still in love with him. When you see them together, they show such great care and respect. Sometimes I feel like maybe we won't need each other as much when the kids get older, but I hope we can be like the couples we saw this week. Still in love and reflecting the love of Christ in our marriage.

I think at times we as women can stand in the way of teamwork, especially in regards to parenting. I know because we do most of the work with the kids, sometimes it is hard to let our husbands in. We can alienate them and make them feel like they aren't doing is exactly our way. I've seen that result in very uninvolved Dads at times. Or we can totally dump on our husbands and expect them to do everything when they get home. We can emotionally check out. Sometimes we need a break but I have to remember that he's been at work all day too. Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking that when he leaves for work, it is free time for him just because he is away from the house.

I think as my marriage and parenting progresses I am trying to find a balance. Working together on a lot of tasks and parenting stuff, but also serving him by letting him take a rest after dinner, going to do something special with one of the older kids or playing basketball at open gym night.

God knew what he was doing when we put us together - I just have to get with the program!

Genesis 2:20-22
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

1 comment:

Christy said...

As kids we would have DIED if mom and dad shopped for matching outfits! Sometimes at our house it happens coincidentally and Cory always says, "We must be married!"