The OB/GYN Office

Well, I finally had my first doctor's appointment. I have to go to a new doctor this time and she is located in a brand new building downtown. The waiting room has an awesome view of Lake Superior, pagers that buzz and light up when they are ready for you (like the Olive Garden!) and the lab has leather recliners! I'm not sure there is a more interesting place to watch people than the OB/GYN waiting room!

I could really tell which people were expecting for the first time. They were there TOGETHER and very excitedly reading all the baby and parenting magazines. Plus they had bright eyes and rosy cheecks! I can remember the first couple times I was pregnant: the wonder of a maternity shop with the belly pillows that help you try on clothes before you are showing (now WHY would you want to shop for maternity clothes any earlier than you had to?), the awe of a growing belly, looking forward to each and every doctor's visit and reading every pregnancy and parenting book I could get my hands on.

It became clear that the exuberance and excitement had pretty much all worn off on me by now. The doctor's appointments tend to get in the way of my schedule and take way too long, the only maternity shop I'll probably see this time is a box of old maternity clothes in my basement and my belly has already grown so much over the past four pregnancies that I pretty much look the same. That glowy, excited feeling just isn't there.

Well, I realized yesterday (I had a lot of time to think in the waiting room) that it is really a bummer to let all the touchy feely stuff alone be our guide. Even though pregnancy is definitely different this time, it doesn't mean I should enjoy it any less. Despite it all, I heard the heartbeat of a new little life and got a few hours to myself! How can I not enjoy that! (and I took myself out to McDonald's for lunch after - I am feeling better!)

I think we do that with a lot of things in life. Our marriages just don't have the excitement they did a few years ago (could it be because you have a kid in bed with you half the time and can't carry on a conversation without being interrupted by a little someone?)

And so it goes with our walk with Jesus. When it's not so new anymore and times are tough and it doesn't give us that glowy feeling, well, it just seems to be a burden?

I'm still excited about my marriage even after 10 years. Sure it's different, I don't blush when he walks through the door or get goosebumps when he calls anymore. But you know, in a lot of ways it's way better! The growth we've had together, the things we've been through, the joy of children and ministry have made our relationship a lot deeper and ulitmately that makes it more exciting.

And so it is in my relationship with Jesus. After being a Christian for a while those emotional highs can run low, but at the same time I am glad for all Jesus has taught and brought me through over the years. I don't want to stay a baby Christian or a baby in my marriage or pregnant with my first baby forever. Think of all the things I would be missing out on!

So don't let your enthusiasm fade! Remember the joy you had and keep having it. As we continue to keep growing closer to Christ and closer to our husbands it is only going to get better!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Psalm 51:12
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

Beary Special

Abby came home from preschool with a Teddy Bear in her bag. She is the "Beary Special Person" this week. They get to keep the bear and keep a journal of what they do with it. It's a fun thing for the kids. When we were talking about it Abby said, "I'm special now." Mike replied you've always been special!

Isn't that the truth? She has always been precious and special to us and even more so to God. I think she knows that, but there's an interesting comparison to us as women. God thinks we are so special and precious. A lot of us have husbands, children, families and friends who affirm that in our lives. But we don't believe them. Oh sure, on the outside it seems we are special and loved, but on the inside we feel nothing of the sort. We doubt the love of God and our loved ones. We go looking for all sorts of cheesy little teddy bears to make us feel special when we already are treasured.

Whether our "teddy bears" are things, a job, a house, a food, a shopping trip, a fantasy, or a drink; the list could go on. However, it's all foolish in comparison to what we have in Christ! The God of the universe and Savior of the world created us as unique, special people. He gave us a purpose. Why do we look to other things to fill up what God has already provided?

Embrace the beauty of being special to God. Don't let anything or anyone replace it! Anything we try to replace it with is nothing more than a cheap little teddy bear.

Colossians 3:12
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassions, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

1 John 3:1
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!"

Need or Greed?

Well, as promised, here's the story about my greedy little self. I usually don't consider myself a greedy person. Really, when you are a missionary how could you be? But doggone if it didn't rear its ugly head last week.

Out of the blue, I got a call offering me a job. It's very part-time and I could do some of it from home. I immediately said no, thanks and I'm pregnant. Then as we talked I said I'd think about it or think if I knew of someone else that would be interested in it. I think it would be a job that I would enjoy and the extra money would be nice! (Althought it really wasn't a lot - trust me!)

Then I had to go grocery shopping. I really didn't buy a lot of extras but I had a complete panic attack when I had to pay the bill. Someone needs shoes, someone needs a winter jacket, registration is due for basketball and the list goes on and on. So I began to think to myself, maybe I should do it.

Again let me reiterate that I don't think there is anything wrong with a job, what was wrong was my motivation. How do you discern the difference between a need and a want? Do we NEED that money? Has God not always provided us with what we need? What are the trade-offs for me at this stage in the life of my family? Is it worth the sacrifices we will undoubtedly have to make? I'm already having a hard time keeping up on things and I think I should add to it?

And the biggie for me is that God has placed ministry on my heart. There are people I feel burdened to reach out to and if I add anything else into my life that will fall by the wayside. So for us, at this time, it doesn't seem to be right.

The truth of the matter is that we don't NEED the money. There was a time in the past where I would have done it because we honestly needed it and our family was less demanding. (Although God provided for us in those times too). I feel like I need it and for what? So we can have more meals out, more clothes, more gymnastics lessons? There isn't anything wrong with those things in and of themselves, but is that my goal as a Christian? To amass more things and sell myself out for more when what God is providing is enough? If we all have a brand new pair of Nike's but have forsaken the call of God in our lives, what's the point?


I keep hearing about people (including Christians) that are so wrapped up in the more and materialism of life and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Partially because I realize that I am in the same boat in a lot of ways. But also because it has become so accepted, even in the "christian" culture, to be a success by the worlds standards. We need to get our kids to Disneyworld at least a few times and have to save thousands of dollars for Christmas toys because, you know how much our kids NEED more toys! Forsake serving Christ for a job that will afford you a bigger house or a Lincoln Navigator. Forsake any commitment to church to get your kids into the NHL. Forsake time with God and family for more "important" matters.

If we truly put Christ first, the worldly things become unimportant. I just heard a sad story of a family in which the patriarch was a great Christian leader in his time. He had a public ministry. However, the legacy he left behind with his family is just tragic. He continually bailed his children and grandchildren out by giving them every material thing they wanted. He's gone now, but their lives are a mess. Instead of teaching them to love and revere God, they learned to love and revere money and things. So what does it matter? If you achieve great success and wealth in this life and even in ministry, but don't follow Christ it's all empty. And how are we raising our kids? Maybe we're teaching them to be materialistic in a good "Christian" way.

And what is more important than serving Christ and passing our love and passion for Jesus onto our kids? Why is it so easy to get lured away from that? Can I have faith in God to meet our needs while we are doing His work?

Deuteronomy 6:5-8
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

Ephesians 5:3
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

Ephesians 5:5
"For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an idolater - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God."

Can Mary Kay Save Me?

Now, I'm not going to lie to you - I don't usually go to home parties. It's not that I think there is anything wrong with them in and of themselves, but, well here's my story. Several years ago things at our church were pretty tough. Few people had any time to give to the church, some didn't have any time with their families, some didn't have money to buy groceries. It was a depressing time and I felt bad. UNTIL, my neighbor had a candle party one Tuesday night, I didn't go because I had no money, but I swear there were 25 women from church there. (I just looked across the street and saw the cars!) So I went from feeling bad to feeling mad. Of course if you don't have time with your family or money for food, you have no business at a candle party! So, I've pretty much sworn off parties since then.

But last month I was invited to a Mary Kay party. I went because I am trying to build a relationship with the young lady that was hosting it. I didn't really want to go. I was feeling pukey sick (but still hiding it), I had spent all my money on back to school shopping and I felt like a hagard housewife. But I went (I left my checkbook at home just in case)! And guess what? Their products really are great. There was this microderm abrasion stuff that made my skin feel amazing. So it's pretty easy once you get away from the stress of your life and get romanced by all the stuff and have a nice dessert and chat with other grown ups to decide you NEED or DESERVE to have some of these things. Which is part of the danger for me and why I left my checkbook at home.

But that is not the worst of it. You know they always make you fill out the information cards. I did not want to put my phone number on it, but I did anyway since I had clearly checked the I AM NOT INTERESTED IN A CAREER WITH MARY KAY box. However, a few weeks later I got a call from the "district manager" wondering if she could ask me some questions about the marketing plan. I had no idea what the marketing plan was but figured I could be polite. Well, the marketing plan is the "opportunity" part of the Mary Kay system. As I explained to her that I was a Pastor's wife and didn't feel I could sell anything because I didn't want people in our church to feel obligated to buy stuff from me or feel that whenever I visited them I was really trying to sell them something. Which is part of it, but I didn't let it all out on her like I am doing here!

So here's where this lady crossed the line in my book. (And I think a lot of these type of businesses try to suck Christians in with this method). She told me that Mary Kay believes in God, Family, then work. It is really a step in discipleship. They pray at all their meetings. And you can turn yourself into an instant cash machine. So, I politely declined the opportunity. And please, don't misunderstand, I don't think there is anything wrong with selling make up. But to try to weave it into being a Christian thing and discipleship is over the top to me. How can we on one hand be out to turn ourselves into a cash machine, and also be disciples of Christ? Are we really serving others if it's ultimately only to benefit our bottom line?

What happens to your faith then, when you don't get a brand new car or have all the money that you want? Does that not become an issue of "where's God?" in life?

I came across some verses that brought it all home to me. It is 2 Corinthians 8:1-5. Go grab that Bible and read them. Verse 2 says, "Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and THEIR EXTREME POVERTY welled up in rich generosity." So even though these Christians in Macedonia were under trial and poor, they gave generously. The passage goes on to say that they gave beyond their ability.

So, here's the deal. If we are focused only on how much we can get or make, how will we ever be able to give generously? We'll only be focused on getting more! The Macedonian's gave out of overflowing joy abounding from the grace of God. If we're looking to anyone or anything else to meet our needs and give us joy we are going to be thoroughly disappointed!

Just this week I was again tempted by greed (which I'm going to write about next). But what are the trade off's for the extra money? Where is my joy coming from - is it coming from the grace of God or am I looking for it in the wrong place? If it's not coming from God, I wonder if there is still an overflow of generosity?

2 Corinthians 8:9
"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
that though he was rich,
yet for your sakes he became poor,
so that you through his poverty might become rich."

I'm Back!

I guess I need to explain my long absence from my blog. I'd like to blame it on my frustration with slow internet. I'm greatly anticipating having the opportunity to get high speed internet, but it's not quite available out here yet. But that really isn't the true reason at all.

My blogging time is usually between 9:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m. after the kids are in bed and I've had my night time snack. But that time has been cut out of my life for the last few weeks due to a sudden need to go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Have you ever wrestled with a decision for a long time? Prayed about it, talked about it, asked others what they did about it and still felt unsure what to do? Well, since we had Annie we've been struggling with when to be done having kids. I thought by the time we had 4 kids it would be a no-brainer. This summer we decided that maybe we should be done and pursue our interest in adoption. So off I went to have a consultation with a doctor about making that decision permanent.

However I was unaware that I was already pregnant with our 5th baby when I went. Doesn't God just have a great sense of humor? Just when we think we are in control of the decisions and destiny of our lives he reminds us that we are NOT.

So I was thinking to myself, can I practice what I preach about having a heart that is soft towards God's plans for my life? For a long time I was feeling kind of despressed, not about having another baby, but I was dreading hearing all the comments from people who think we are totally insane! (However, I can happily report that most people have handled it pretty well - at least to our faces!) But starting over with another baby, more maternity clothes (gag) and getting big and trying to lose the weight were all the selfish things on my mind. But if I thought about the baby, a new life I had a totally different attitude.

My friend and I were talking about adoption and the outrageous costs involved. She said something that really struck me. She said once you have the baby you would pay a million dollars for it. Isn't that the truth? If you focus on the important things, the "meat" of the matter so to speak, all those other little things aren't so important. I'm thankful that God has blessed our lives with this new life.

And so what if I have to wear hiddeous clothes for one more winter (or the horror of a maternity swimsuit!), gain a little weight, have others think we are weird, have 3 sets of bunk beds in our house and the list goes on and on. I can remember the hard things that surrounded having my other kids; some were early, some were late, could we afford it etc. But when I look in their faces and their lives I think all those things were trivial and fade in comparison. They really are worth more than a million dollars each. So, bring it on number 5 - you're already worth more than a million dollars to us and to God!