Friday, April 03, 2015

Receipts and Legacies

At first glance, the receipt I keep in my wallet looks pretty random.  It is faded now but it was for a scone at an airport one year ago today.  It would be garbage in most cases but I cannot throw this one away.  One year ago today, my sister and I were sitting at the airport trying to force down a scone before we got on an early morning flight to Colorado.

Mom was in hospice.  Christy had just been there.  I was not up to traveling after my surgery.  But Dad said we should come.  We arrived in Denver to a nasty spring snowstorm.  We got to the house in time to spend two hours with Mom before she left this world and went to heaven.

I am not really sure why holding on to that airport receipt has become important to me.  Normally I am not the kind of person that holds on to stuff for comfort.  The receipt is a reminder of that day.  A day everything changed for me and my family.  Maybe holding on to it is a way to hold on to her.  In situations that are out of my control, it feels good to have something to hold on to.  Even though it doesn't make one shred of difference.

So as we have marked the milestones on this journey I keep wondering where do we go from here?  I enjoy reliving the good memories I have with her.  I miss her.  But I think this milestone is pushing me in a different direction.

My mom was a people person.  She loved people.  She cared like no one else I have known.  She was an encourager.  She was devoted to her family, traveled the world with her husband, called her parents every night.  She lived for her grandchildren.  She fiercely loved her nieces and nephews, her siblings, her cousins, her friends. 

Everyone remembers how she cared so deeply for the things going on in their life. When she was here, it didn't seem like that big of a deal.  But now that she is gone I realize how amazing it was. 

She loved.  Her great love and care flowed from her love for Jesus.  And if there is anything I want as I mark this milestone in my heart, I choose to live her legacy of love. I choose to fiercely love and serve my family, dote on my nieces and nephews, and take an interest in the lives of everyone I meet. That is what was extraordinary about her and I hope that I can live just a part of that.

I am not ready to throw my airport receipt away yet.   But I cannot stay there.  I choose to move forward and try to continue her legacy of love in my own life.   I am so thankful to have had her example and love all my life.  It's time to pass it on. #teampederson

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