Tuesday, March 03, 2015


One year ago today, I had a CT scan. It revealed a massive ovarian tumor.
One year ago, my mom was at my house doing what she did best: laundry, cleaning and Grandma cuddling.  We thought she was healthy.  We wondered if I had cancer.

One year ago, started a chain of events that I could not have seen coming.  I had no idea what the next 525,600 minutes would bring. 

How do you measure a year? In sickness? In trial? In sorrow?

I could declare the last 12 months the worst year ever.  I could be glad that I have a new set of minutes in front of me. I can hope they are better.

But the song from the musical Rent is right: you have to measure in love.  The only way to know if the good and painful, happy and sad times in the last year mean anything is through relationships.  If I can't frame my circumstances in the love of God, family and friends then life becomes just minutes on a clock.

It's easy for life to become a list of obligations and things we have to accomplish.  I want to be sure that my next 525,600 minutes mean something. I don't want to look back and know I had a clean kitchen or a large bank account. I want to grow a real and genuine love for Christ.  I want to know that I invested in people.  That I have given myself to my husband and kids, more than just glancing up from my phone to half listen to what they are saying. I want to keep up with old friends and invest in new ones. I want to worship with other believers.

Because when you are laying in a hospital bed or sitting by a loved one's death bed, nothing matters more. 

When you have 525,600 minutes of joy and sorrow behind and before you, it must be measured in love.  Love has heightened the joy and softened the sorrow.  It has brought peace and comfort in difficult times. 

So no matter what comes in the next 525,600, I will choose love.

1 Corinthians 1:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 comment:

Steph VG said...

We're studying 1 Cor 13 in women's Bible study right now...right on the heels of my dad's sudden death (literally; we started the week I got back from VA). That timing is nothing short of the Lord's miraculous (and wise) ordination, because I too have thought what you just wrote: nothing means more than love in the face of death, even the hope-full death of a believer. Because nothing means more than love in the face of Life.

Thanks for encouraging my heart.