He Knows

I find it both extremely comforting and maybe, possibly just a wee small bit disconcerting that God knows everything. I teach that to my kids. I believe it. God is all-knowing. I know that He is also all-powerful and doesn’t need a thing from me. He was never created and will never die. He has no beginning or end. He knows everything. The only proof we need is the Bible.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:1-5

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that he knows and cares about the intimate details of my life. I mean there are people starving, dying of cancer and fighting wars. Those are some pretty big issues. How can he know and care about little old me here in northern Minnesota? He doesn’t need me, but He wants me. I get it but sometimes I don’t grasp or feel it.

Does He know that I needed these beautiful, sunny fall days? And time to walk with friends? I get all out of breath from trying to cram in so much talking. Something good happens in my heart on the bike trail with leaves crunching as I go.

Does He know that I am humbled by the joy He has brought to my marriage? And how amazing it is to love my husband like I never thought possible? Sometimes, I am compelled to send him silly little texts telling him that. And he doesn’t even grumble about how “that just cost us ten cents”.

Does He know that I need my kids to stop fighting and get along and do their homework, piano and chores without grumbling for a while? Seriously, that rocks.

Does He know that I love when my daughter comes and tells me she needs “private time” with me after a long day of kindergarten?

Does He know that I am comforted and encouraged through studying the Bible with other believers? He probably did, but I didn’t realize how important it was.

Does He know that it is good for me that my computer died? I like to complain about having only my iPod during the day but it has helped me focus on and think about more important things.

Does He know how much I needed the time I’ve had alone with Maren this fall? She is so delightful right now. We have spent hours walking, shopping, getting the mail, hanging the laundry and doing our hair. Does He know there have been times that I wondered why I didn’t stop at four or didn’t like being around her at all? These times are healing those places in my heart.

Does He know how much I needed friends that will listen to all the stuff going on inside me? Friends that can listen and identify and love me anyway.

And even though He still knows about wars and famine and poverty and is in control of all that. He knows and loves me.

He knows.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:6-10