Stages

At some point last night a familiar thing happened, although it doesn’t happen very much anymore.  Maren appeared by my bed.  I was so groggy that I invited her into my bed  which has always been a big no-no in our house until child number five.  She responded that she wanted me to come to her bed.  Have we won the war?  These past few years I’ve been trying to taker her back to her bed so she would learn to fall back to sleep IN HER BED.  Mainly because it was uncomfortable to have an extra body in our bed.  The plan was pushed along when she was potty training and I didn’t want her to have an accident in my bed.  I think I should have felt glad that our training was working, but I mainly just wanted to stay under my down comforter.

I was just reading Kristy’s blog.  Kristy has a beautiful baby girl.  She was writing about dealing with how and when to take away the pacifier.  I remember those days and stresses: the pacifier, the sippy cup, the big kid bed, potty training.  All of those things were new and difficult issues.  Do you know what I commented to her?  I basically said “This too shall pass.”  And all the things I hated to be told:

You’ll look back and love these years.

Don’t let it ruin these precious times.

No one ever went to kindergarten in diapers or with a sippy cup. 

Just wait until they get older and they will have bigger problems.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

I didn’t appreciate any of those sentiments when I was in the trenches with little kids.  Every new problem or stage was hard because I love my kids and want to do a good job.  I want to do what’s best for them.  So sleep schedules, bedtime routines and tummy time were all really important to me.

Now here I am repeating the hated advice.  At the same time, I am totally stressed dealing with some new issues that have come up with my kids.  Guess what?  Everyone was right.  The issues get bigger and harder.  But I realized I probably need to take my own advice.  It’s a new stage and it’s hard because I’ve never dealt with it before and I want to do the right thing.  Exactly like when I wondered how to get a one year old to give up the bottle.  I hate feeling like I have no idea what I’m doing in the most important job I’ve ever had.

It’s important to seek wisdom and try to make the best decision while at the same time not  letting it ruin these precious years of parenting.  That still applies to me, after all what years of parenting aren’t precious?  For some reason I had in my head that when they are 11 it isn’t as sweet.   The issues keep coming and the years are going just as fast.  But I have been letting the worries ruin a lot of moments of parenting.  I really have.  In a few years, maybe I will look back at what is stressful now and think it was no big deal.  It will work itself out.  It seems there should be some balance between trying to be wise about how we parent and not letting it turn us into a big stressed out mess. 

I was praying for wisdom in a few of those situations that have come up recently with my kids.  I kept asking God what to do and how to deal with it. I was kind of shocked to get a response.  You know me, the great woman of faith.  I felt like He was impressing on my heart love, respond in love.  It makes sense because the meat of all the issues I face with my kids is an issue of the heart.  From more mature issues to sleep issues to pacifiers, my job is to shape their hearts and point them to Jesus. 

The funny thing is that after feeling mildly smug in the wee hours of the morning, I woke up with a little girl in my bed.  But don’t worry, this too shall pass.