Monday, November 23, 2009

Our Wedding Video - Gag!

We got married thirteen years ago today. This morning before school Mike was showing the kids our wedding video on the computer. He just told me tonight how much he enjoyed watching it. I was surprised. He's usually not sentimental. Abby asked if we could watch it again. I told her no and not to get any ideas. Her wedding will not be nearly that nice. Hello, we have four daughters.

I, on the other hand, did not enjoy watching it. It made me want to gag. It wasn't just the out of date, puffy, long sleeved, sweetheart neckline wedding dress. Even though it is hideous by today's standard, I'd cut off my right arm to be able to fit into it again. It's not that I am unhappy that I married Mike. I certainly don't wish I had picked different people to stand up for me.

It's just that when I look back at myself then and the things I thought were important I just feel stupid. When I was planning my wedding it was all about having the best. The nicest dress, the most delicious dinner, fabulous music, beautiful flowers.

Oh sure, we wanted to honor God. We met with our pastor and did premarital training. Ultimately I wanted to honor myself. Today, that video was the ultimate reminder of what a brat I was. It was all about me. The right music, the moment when everyone would look at me...gag. See what I mean?

To me, that day was the best, mountaintop moment in our marriage. It was the beginning of what would be a wonderful life as long as Mike did everything I said and we were rich.

But today, thirteen years later I realize I was foolish that day. It was just the beginning of the climb. I did not understand the depth that would come in our relationship through trial. I did not understand the maturity that would come through submission. I did not understand the wealth that would come through sacrifice. I did not understand the joy that would come in the every day.

I didn't understand that this marriage is not about me or about Mike. It's not about happiness or money. It's about God. He created us to live for his glory, not our own.

The girl in the wedding dress would not have been satisfied with an anniversary that involved laundry, cleaning, cooking, and grocery shopping. No gifts, nothing special.

The girl in the wedding dress would have demanded recognition.

The girl in the wedding dress would not have been able to just be thankful for another day with her husband.

The girl in the wedding dress would not want to give more than get.

I'm glad I'm not the girl in the wedding dress anymore. Now I am beginning to understand that God works in ways we could never plan for. It's not about me. It's not about things. It's not about what other people think.

I am happy and content to have another day to be my husband's wife and to eat frozen pizza from the gas station surrounded by the family God has blessed us with.

When we were going to sleep tonight, Mike was adjusting his pillow. I asked him if he had something under there. He replied that he went to Kay Jewelers and...we both burst out laughing.

That's why I adore my husband and am glad he has stuck with the girl in the wedding dress for so long. I hope that in thirteen more years we will look back to today and see we've grown and changed even more. And a trip to Hawaii wouldn't be too bad either.

So it seems that I have taken a long time getting back to the Details of Discontent. I have been baking and cleaning for Thanksgiving guests. I'm guessing they will want more than frozen pizza for dinner. But I am working on the marriage portion and we'll get there soon.


Christy said...

I like this, Michelle. I cried a lot on your wedding day by the way - do you remember that? Look back at the photo of you and me - my eyes are red and puffy.

I'm so glad that you and Mike got married. You have a marriage that I admire. God is using the two of you together to advance His kingdom!

Peter and Nancy said...

This was so beautiful . . . I'll take the beauty of everyday love, commitment and sacrifice over showy romance any day. (Athough I still like a nice restaurant once in a while -- one without plastic bibs or happy meals!).

There was a wedding at our church this year where the bride and groom washed each other's feet. Wish I'd thought of that 12 years ago . . .

To many more happy anniversaries!

Anonymous said...

Christy, Actually we have a beautiful picture of you and my sister both crying on the back pew of the chapel. Oh the things the brother-in-law remembers.