Tuesday, October 02, 2007


I'm tired this morning - who am I kidding? I'm tired every morning! It doesn't only have to do with the fact that I haven't had a good nights sleep in 8 years, or that I'm drinking decaf coffee (really, why bother?) but the last few weeks I've been experiencing a different kind of tired. I feel tired of trying to keep up and keep fighting through a lot of stuff.

There's always a need to be met: a crying baby, a sick kid, a naughty kid, a nasty mess of cereal and juice on the floor, a never ending pile of laundry, homework, appointments, bills and financial needs! Plus there are the demands of ministry, other people who need help or aren't happy with the help you have given. There are people that always, always have issues they need to tell me about in great detail!

Doesn't anyone around me remember what it was like nursing a baby and getting up ever few hours in the night for months on end? No, all I hear is how tired everyone is. While I was sitting in the Emergency Room this weekend, alone with all 5 of my kids, the nurses assistant was telling me how tired SHE was! She works 12 hour shifts you know. Give me a break lady! I've been at it longer than your shift already today!

I was home from church on Sunday with a sick kid (did I mention she's on steroids that make her hyperactive? I think they should have prescribed some extra doses for me!) and I was asking the Lord for some relief! I'm kind of on the edge with all that is going on. I want to stop trying so hard and just shut down or climb back into bed for a week! And guess what verse came into my mind?

2 Corinthians 4:1 "Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart."

2 Corinthians 4:16 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Does any else ever feel this way?

So we have this ministry to our husbands and kids and those around us through God's mercy. And of course we should have joy while we're doing it :). I guess I didn't realize that tiredness, discouragement and exhaustion were all part of the gig too!

But let's not lose heart. I have to be renewed day by day by Jesus (not look to anything or anyone else) and fix my eyes on what is unseen.

I'm going to go dump some more sugar in my coffee!


Lisa said...

Thanks Michelle
I think I need to be reminded of that every day! It is so difficult though when you are going through the physical "stuff" day after day, to remember that. Sometimes I think "What would it be like to actually have a a day off?"

Tricia said...

I enjoyed reading your blogs today. I, too, struggle with trying to remember to enjoy time with my kids instead of just trying to train them. Thank you for being so honest with your struggles and trials. It makes me feel that I am not alone!