People always say raising a family is expensive and I believe them. I can not believe the massive amounts of food, clothing, diapers, toilet paper and shoes (ok I'll admit it, most of the shoes are mine) we consume in our house! Our kids are literally ALWAYS hungry. We go through an entire loaf of bread at lunchtime every day. It's unbelievable.
As they eat, they grow and need new clothes and shoes. They need school stuff and want to be involved in sports and clubs that cost money. It costs thousands of dollars just to deliver a baby. They get ear infections and need surgery. They need to go to the dentist, they need retainers and possibly braces. Is it getting hot in here? Thinking about it all makes me feel breathless at times. How are we possibly going to be able to afford this? They are only going to eat more and need more, and have more expensive needs as they get older. I have visions of prom dresses, drivers licenses, graduations, college tuition and wedding dresses (4 GIRLS!) All good times and happy occasions to be sure but it won't be easy to foot the bill! The world must think we are insane. We don't make nearly enough money to support a big family. We only have one income. Sometimes I think we are insane too!
The old song "one day at a time, sweet Jesus" rings true to me on this one. God has always faithfully provided for us. I don't know how he will provide 6 months from now, but he'll provide what we need for each day. I think I keep getting too far ahead of things and it causes a mild panic attack. But God tells us over and over again to trust Him for what we need. He'll meet our needs as they come and it's always amazing to me how He does it. Now of course, He's given me a brain and I have to be responsible. I can't just go buy a Hummer and think He'll provide. I just need to look to Him each day and serve Him and trust Him for what I need. That's so refreshing to me!
Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like on of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father know that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
A Dream Come True
This winter one of Mike's lifelong dreams came true: he got to buy a full size Ford van. We used to have a really nice looking metallic minivan that I liked to drive. I wasn't very excited about supersizing my vehicle, however I tried to stay out of the decision making process (except for demanding a DVD player - which actually turned out to be a VCR so my demands again went unmet!). The van actually isn't as bad to drive as I thought it would be and thankfully they have semi parking available at Wal-Mart, the only place I shop.
However, this winter when I was going to my ob doctor often, I didn't want to drive the van because it felt so big to drive downtown and park in a ramp. So, trying to beat the problem I chose to drive our Saturn. There are some nice saturns out there no doubt, but ours does not qualify. It has power NOTHING - honestly, not even power steering. But I hopped in there, which was no easy task pregnant as I was, and set off for the doctors. While I was driving I noticed the steering wheel shaking a bit. Once I got on the freeway it got dramatically worse. I could only drive about 50 miles a hour and my hands were numb. On the way home it got even worse and I was putsing along at about 40 miles per hour.
I was so mad! Isn't this just typical? Can't drive one car because it is too big and the little car is a piece of junk that shakes violently when you drive. Well, it turns out it was only snow stuck up in the wheel and when it melted it was fine. But it got me thinking very angrily about how nothing in my life is right. The cars, my couches that are ripped, my dishes that are chipped and many are missing since they have been broken, my towels that are ripping and stringy and smell kind of mucky, my stained carpet, and the list goes on and on. I was having a pretty good pity party shaking along down the road.
More recently it has been my closet and lack of wardrobe that fits that is a problem. We met my family for my Dad's birthday last week and my swimsuit had some problems. The little skirt had totally stretched out and would puff up in the hot tub - great enterntainment for the kids though! Then my Mom said I think it is a little thin and see through on the top too. So I threw it away to reduce the risk of a wardrobe malfunction! Now I have no swimsuit and need one for family swim day at swimming lessons this week.
I can't figure out how I let myself get so focused on material things. I know I should be thankful that we have cars and couches and dishes and towels. Why is it so hard to not focus on the negative? We all know that, but it doesn't always seem to satisfy those nagging feelings of wanting more, needing more and needing the best. I know I have far more in Christ than this world can offer. I know my family is more valuable than all the new things I could ever desire.
I've also realized that the good news is I don't freak out when a dish gets handled by a 2 year old or when the couch gets spit up on or jumped on. I don't care when the bath towels are used in a science experiment or as a batman cape. I guess if everything was new and exactly as I wanted it there would be no room for living - especially with kids in the house!
I'm trying to learn to worry less about "stuff" which helps me enjoy life more. And I can laugh when I'm cruising down the road in my huge van or little Saturn that's jerking everywhere because it's not the end of the world, there are more important things in life- and it will make a good blog!
1 Thessalonions 1:8-10
The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia - your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead - Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
However, this winter when I was going to my ob doctor often, I didn't want to drive the van because it felt so big to drive downtown and park in a ramp. So, trying to beat the problem I chose to drive our Saturn. There are some nice saturns out there no doubt, but ours does not qualify. It has power NOTHING - honestly, not even power steering. But I hopped in there, which was no easy task pregnant as I was, and set off for the doctors. While I was driving I noticed the steering wheel shaking a bit. Once I got on the freeway it got dramatically worse. I could only drive about 50 miles a hour and my hands were numb. On the way home it got even worse and I was putsing along at about 40 miles per hour.
I was so mad! Isn't this just typical? Can't drive one car because it is too big and the little car is a piece of junk that shakes violently when you drive. Well, it turns out it was only snow stuck up in the wheel and when it melted it was fine. But it got me thinking very angrily about how nothing in my life is right. The cars, my couches that are ripped, my dishes that are chipped and many are missing since they have been broken, my towels that are ripping and stringy and smell kind of mucky, my stained carpet, and the list goes on and on. I was having a pretty good pity party shaking along down the road.
More recently it has been my closet and lack of wardrobe that fits that is a problem. We met my family for my Dad's birthday last week and my swimsuit had some problems. The little skirt had totally stretched out and would puff up in the hot tub - great enterntainment for the kids though! Then my Mom said I think it is a little thin and see through on the top too. So I threw it away to reduce the risk of a wardrobe malfunction! Now I have no swimsuit and need one for family swim day at swimming lessons this week.
I can't figure out how I let myself get so focused on material things. I know I should be thankful that we have cars and couches and dishes and towels. Why is it so hard to not focus on the negative? We all know that, but it doesn't always seem to satisfy those nagging feelings of wanting more, needing more and needing the best. I know I have far more in Christ than this world can offer. I know my family is more valuable than all the new things I could ever desire.
I've also realized that the good news is I don't freak out when a dish gets handled by a 2 year old or when the couch gets spit up on or jumped on. I don't care when the bath towels are used in a science experiment or as a batman cape. I guess if everything was new and exactly as I wanted it there would be no room for living - especially with kids in the house!
I'm trying to learn to worry less about "stuff" which helps me enjoy life more. And I can laugh when I'm cruising down the road in my huge van or little Saturn that's jerking everywhere because it's not the end of the world, there are more important things in life- and it will make a good blog!
1 Thessalonions 1:8-10
The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia - your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead - Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
Friday, June 15, 2007
The Joy of Expectancy!
People say the worst things to you at the end of your pregnancy - don't they? Let me give you a few examples from my VAST prenancy experience! You look miserable, you are getting SO big! Haven't you had that baby yet? Are you still around? Now why would someone say that to a 10 month pregnant woman? I wanted to threaten to sit on them. Or after my female OB doctor went on sabbatical, I had to see one of her MALE partners and he said as only a man could - You'll have no problem having a 10 pound baby - your body is made for having babies. This is why I wanted to see a woman doctor!
I also get irritated when woman's bible studies always relate everything to pregnancy and childbirth. But I was highly irritable this spring too. In our book we studied Romans 8:15-28 which is a passage I have read many times, but this time it was in The Message and it sounded a little different. Here's part of it:
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a prenant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
The last thing I want to be reminded of is being large and in pain. At then end we are fixed on our due date anxiously awaiting delivery. But one we're past all that and are holding a brand new little baby, we realize the joy of our expectancy.
The week I had Maren, a friend of our family died of cancer. She had been battling it for several years. And I was thinking that the same principle applies. No doubt there is groaning and pain when you are terminally ill, but after you pass into the presence of Christ there must be unbelievable joy!
So, I want to use these experineces in life to realize that I need to be anxiously awaiting the return of Christ and the joy that will come with our deliverance from this world. I think my life is too comfy and cushy to really feel like I am eager for that day.
But I can relate to being massively pregnant and having birth pains and how I yearned for deliverance and I can imagine being sick and in pain and yearning for deliveranc into glory. I guess that's what those Bible studies are after, using our life experinces to help us focus more on Christ and eternity.
I'm going to keep re-reading Romans 8:15-28 to keep my focus where it should be!
I also get irritated when woman's bible studies always relate everything to pregnancy and childbirth. But I was highly irritable this spring too. In our book we studied Romans 8:15-28 which is a passage I have read many times, but this time it was in The Message and it sounded a little different. Here's part of it:
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a prenant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
The last thing I want to be reminded of is being large and in pain. At then end we are fixed on our due date anxiously awaiting delivery. But one we're past all that and are holding a brand new little baby, we realize the joy of our expectancy.
The week I had Maren, a friend of our family died of cancer. She had been battling it for several years. And I was thinking that the same principle applies. No doubt there is groaning and pain when you are terminally ill, but after you pass into the presence of Christ there must be unbelievable joy!
So, I want to use these experineces in life to realize that I need to be anxiously awaiting the return of Christ and the joy that will come with our deliverance from this world. I think my life is too comfy and cushy to really feel like I am eager for that day.
But I can relate to being massively pregnant and having birth pains and how I yearned for deliverance and I can imagine being sick and in pain and yearning for deliveranc into glory. I guess that's what those Bible studies are after, using our life experinces to help us focus more on Christ and eternity.
I'm going to keep re-reading Romans 8:15-28 to keep my focus where it should be!
Monday, May 07, 2007
It's A Girl!
We have a new baby! Maren Pamela Keller
She was very cooperative and arrived right on her due date. She was 8 lbs. 8 oz., 21 inches long and was born at 9:05 p.m. When she was born Mike said "It's another little girl and she looks just like the rest of them!" Pamela is in honor of Mike's mom. Everyone is very excited about their new little sister.
I have some blogs that hopefully between nursing and napping I will get posted this week. Don't give up on me, my wheels are starting to turn again!
Monday, April 02, 2007
Father to the Fatherless
I have been volunteering with kids this winter. My little friend that I've been working with smells bad, like they haven't cleaned up properly after an accident. It was really strong today. Today she announced she had cold lunch. It was a piece of bread in a baggie. That was it! She did at least buy a milk. She struggles in school and is starving for attention.
Most parents are doing their best to love and raise their kids, but there are those on the extreme ends of the spectrum. Some parents are over-achievers as far as outward things go. They'll do whatever they have to so they look good on the outside, although no one knows what things are like with the things that really count. Then there are those kids whose parents don't seem to care at all. I feel so devastated that they care so little. How hard is it to run a bath, wash some clothes or pack a decent lunch? I suppose it could be laziness or lack of interest on their part.
So, I've been wondering, what is my responsibility in these situations? I want to call the parents and yell at them. It seems like a nice little self-esteem boost for me to be able to shake my head and feel like I am so much better than them. I want to look the other way and not think about it. But what I should do is reach out and love. I need to show her the One who is a Father to the fatherless. It isn't easy because I feel like I am so "busy" raising my own family. But these are exactly the times when Jesus wants to use us. When I think of great Christians throughout history, they were simply people that saw a need and used what God had given them to meet the need and show Christ's love. I know there are some simple things I can do to reach out, but it's going to involve time and sacrifice.
It is too easy for me to walk away from the tough situations in life. I don't want to get involved, it might get messy. But Jesus has me in the world to shine His light to those around me, as difficult as they may be to love. I put the card my student made me on my bulletin board so I would not be able to put it out of my mind. Keep me accountable on this one!
Psalm 68:4-6
Sing to God, sing praises to His name;
Most parents are doing their best to love and raise their kids, but there are those on the extreme ends of the spectrum. Some parents are over-achievers as far as outward things go. They'll do whatever they have to so they look good on the outside, although no one knows what things are like with the things that really count. Then there are those kids whose parents don't seem to care at all. I feel so devastated that they care so little. How hard is it to run a bath, wash some clothes or pack a decent lunch? I suppose it could be laziness or lack of interest on their part.
So, I've been wondering, what is my responsibility in these situations? I want to call the parents and yell at them. It seems like a nice little self-esteem boost for me to be able to shake my head and feel like I am so much better than them. I want to look the other way and not think about it. But what I should do is reach out and love. I need to show her the One who is a Father to the fatherless. It isn't easy because I feel like I am so "busy" raising my own family. But these are exactly the times when Jesus wants to use us. When I think of great Christians throughout history, they were simply people that saw a need and used what God had given them to meet the need and show Christ's love. I know there are some simple things I can do to reach out, but it's going to involve time and sacrifice.
It is too easy for me to walk away from the tough situations in life. I don't want to get involved, it might get messy. But Jesus has me in the world to shine His light to those around me, as difficult as they may be to love. I put the card my student made me on my bulletin board so I would not be able to put it out of my mind. Keep me accountable on this one!
Psalm 68:4-6
Sing to God, sing praises to His name;
Lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts,
Whose name is the LORD, and exult before Him.
A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.
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