Hurry Up and Wait

We got home from vacation at 1:30 a.m. on Wednesday morning. Since then we have been to two dentist and three doctor's appointments. So sue me if I'm a little hyper about getting everyone moving in the same direction at the same time so we can get to an appointment before they call us wondering where we are.

This morning I went for a walk with a friend. Grant watched the kids for the little bit of time between Mike leaving for work and my return home. While I was walking I got two phone calls from home wanting me to listen to why it wasn't their fault.

I got home and had a half hour to shower, eat and get everyone out the door. I started yelling I'm getting in the shower, everyone get dressed and ready to go to the doctor. When it was time to go some people obviously didn't understand what I meant by "get ready to go." By that what I really mean is: "GET READY TO GO!!" It's not rocket science. And I'm pretty sure I'm speaking English. Eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes. Come on now, it is really that difficult.

The girls weren't ready because they were trying to decide which shoes to wear. I know, again with the shoes. They picked pairs that were too big or we could only find one. I started to freak out a little more. Just grab your flip flops and put them on in the car. We are late. There is road construction.

I called Mike on the way because I couldn't exactly remember where this office was. Some kids were complaining and whimpering about needing the bathroom right now. I wonder why they didn't go before we left? Oh right, they didn't have to go then. And they were looking for shoes. All the while I am trying to park my huge van in the parking ramp. No small feat there.

We ran in, found the bathroom: one stall. Great! Went to the office and checked in finally when Maren announces she needs the bathroom. Because she didn't five seconds ago. My head was about to explode when the nurse stuck her head through the glass and let us all know that the good doctor was running thirty minutes late and we could reschedule if we wanted. Well, there is no way on God's green earth that I was going to repeat the process of getting everyone there, but at least we did have time to take Maren to the bathroom

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was like a well-needed thump on the head. Hurry, stress, chaos and then we had to wait anyway.

I know there are things I need to do to streamline our outings. I remember reading a controversial book years ago that talked about "three candy speed". The idea was to put three M & M's on the table and get your kids to do race to do a task get the candy as a reward. Not that I ever did that, but if I did I'd take care of the rest of the candy. I'm a problem solver like that! It's a lesson so that when you are in a hurry you tell them to operate at "three candy speed". If only I had started that earlier and before they ate a ton of junk food and wouldn't do anything for three measly M& M's.

I should simplify. Fewer shoes, fewer choices.

I should plan ahead. Maybe I took on too much in one morning. I should have gotten up earlier.

I know those are practical realities. But do you know what else I know? Life happens. It can be chaotic and stressful. Some days I don't plan well. Some days I don't herd well. Some days we are late. Some days they kids are distracted and don't move very fast. Some days we have too much going on.

After we heard the doctor was behind, all the stress melted away. It was actually pretty funny. I started to enjoy hanging out in the waiting room with the kids. We ran into a lady that recently lost her husband and was thrilled to see the kids. The kids liked the waiting room so much they wanted to stay even after our appointment was over. I don't think for one minute it's worth getting all irritated and cranky. Soon enough they will all be back in school and my days will be pretty quiet. And I'll miss them.

Big lessons considering it was an appointment that took all of 60 seconds.

Happy Birthday Old Lady

Just as my 35^th birthday was approaching my body began to fall apart. I sprained my ankle. Five weeks later the swelling has gone down only a little. It's now only about the size of a plum.

As my highlights grow out, I am plucking gray hairs. Way more than usual.

I've got wrinkles, bags under my eyes and zits all at the same time.

I'm growing my hair out one last time before I'm too old to pull off long hair.

It hurts to sit on the floor.

I am almost to my 20^th High School Reunion.

I've had my driver's license for nearly 20 years. And I'm still a bad driver.

I've got serious issues with jogging and bathroom stops. Serious.

Did you know that sometimes when you have five babies in a short amount of time your uterus just can't take it and falls right out? Well, I know that now. I'm confident that every single one of my babies was totally worth it. Even those that were well over nine pounds.

Nonetheless, I'm going to need to have surgery to fix it. My OB/GYN is the best. She knew exactly what to do. As she was telling me the risks involved in taking a major organ out of your body I couldn't help but smile. In a lot of ways, the benefits outweigh the risks.

Such as a night in the hospital, alone. With Cable TV. And people bringing me food in bed.

Pain medicine that will turn me into a partial dwarf: sleepy, dopey and happy!

There was the option of getting a spinal and laying very still but I told her I really could use a good nap so I'd rather be put to sleep - with one of those heated blankets.

How much does a uterus weigh? Could this be considered a weight loss surgery?

I will NEVER have to buy another box of tampons again. That is until I have four teenage daughters at which point I will buy stock in Pamprin!

No driving for two weeks.

My family going to family camp without me. That's right, home by myself for a few days.

Six weeks of no jogging, lifting or doing any cooking. Ok, she didn't say no cooking but I think it stands to reason!

It seems the final piece to my body falling apart may include dementia since I'm pretty sure a hysterectomy sounds like a nice little vacation. Well, ask me again August 12^th when I feel like I've been run over by a truck and see if some sanity hasn't been socked back into me.

Until then I'm living the dream.

Intentions, Part Five

Despite the best of intentions, VBS took over last week and I didn't have time to write. But there is one more point I've been learning about. In the last few weeks, I have come into contact with kids whose parents really don't care about them. I have often wondered what to do about such kids because I have my hands full. What more could God want from me?

It's easy to get tunnel vision in parenting. I mean, I certainly am busy, overwhelmed and crazy with the five I've got. I don't really want or need extra kids at my house. But God has really been challenging my heart on that. I've been reading the book, This Momentary Marriage by John Piper. It's a short book but it's taken me a long time to read it. I have read a lot of books on marriage, but this one has some pretty astounding stuff. You should read it! It's the best book I've read on marriage and I've read a lot!

One of the things he talks about is how God used marriage and child bearing to grow His kingdom in the Old Testament, but now His kingdom family grows through regeneration: people becoming Christians. I don't think that is to take away from our biological child bearing. That is God-given too. But if we have kids, are single or infertile there is a place in Godly parenting for everyone.

"In the beginning, God said to mankind, 'Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth' (Genesis 1:28). That's normal. That's good. But it's not absolute any more than marriage is absolute. What is absolute is to pursue spiritual children, not natural children. Marriage is not absolutely for making children. But it is absolutely for making children followers of Jesus." John Piper, This Momentary Marriage, page 141

It's pretty amazing to think that God has a bigger purpose for my mothering than just my biological children. I always wanted a big family and now the door is open for a lot of kids without any more pregnancies.

It also sheds some light for me on the age old questions about how many kids should we have and birth control. If God's family grows through regeneration too, it's not all about biological reproduction. That's new to me. I've always heard and felt guilty over the "however many God gives us we should have" argument. And although we had already decided not to have any more belly babies, that's not the end of our family!

Piper goes on to say:

In Mark 10:29-30 Jesus says,
"Truly I say to you , there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, hourses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life."

Here Jesus shifts the absolute from having children biologically to having hundreds of children through the family of Christ and through spiritual influence. It might include adoption. It might include foster care. It might include making your home a place for backyard Bible clubs. It might include hospitality in your neighborhood where your home is every kid's favorite place."
John Piper, This Momentary Marriage, Page 141

I recently heard a story about a high school student who came to Christ through a friend's family. Even now, years later the mother of this friend has been a big part of her spiritual journey. I thought that was fascinating. Not only were they hanging out at this friend's house, but the parents were involved and around. They were more than parents to their biological kids, they were spiritual parents to their kids' friends.

I want that but I have done a terrible job so far. I don't really want the extra mess and chaos. I don't want to invest in kids that are difficult or wild or naughty. But guess what? They are also kids that God loves! And usually the kids that need spiritual parenting are not going to be the ones you would choose.

But God chose me when I was still an unruly sinner. He chooses to continue to love me and be patient with me despite my sin, mistakes and flaws.

But it's going to take being intentional about lots of things. It will take being intentional about the way I spend my time and how busy I get. It will take a shift in how I view my house, is it a showpiece (ha ha - it's trashed right now!) or a place of grace? Will I invest my time in my own selfish pursuits or sacrifice for the needs of others. It's won't just happen with good intentions. It will take being intentional.

So now things are getting a little easier with my kids. We have no one in diapers, no one naps, four kids will be in school next year. I could choose to turn inward and be selfish or I could take the opportunity to grow my family through regeneration. What will I do? What will you do?

My Poor Neices and Nephews

I have only one sister and that's probably all I can handle. She used to make fun of me for crying during Little House on the Prairie all the while she was hiding her own tears. I didn't realize that until I was 30. She made up games that I could never win. She made me clean up my room while Mom and Dad were out of town. She thought going to "school house" days in the summer was fun. We had to dress up like prairie people. Whatever.

There are plenty of great things about her too. My kids have her number memorized and call her a lot. She really ended up being the fun mom. But based on our childhood, I thought she would be horrible. She wasn't going to let her kids watch Disney movies. She thought it would be fun to take her kids on an "Oregon Trail" vacation. I told her I felt sorry for her future children.

So now true to form she is torturing her children: they are driving through South Dakota. My nephew journaled this on his iPod. He's 11, three weeks older than my son. I think he may have a future as a South Dakota Tourism writer.

TRIP TO SOUTH DAKOTA
1st day

1. Laura Ingalls house learned about a bunch of c**p that was not needed in life unless you're giving a lecture about where to go and not to go. (don't go)

2. Well the hotel was fine I swam in a teeny tiny pool that the highest was 4' 6". They had cable witch was nice and watched a lot of that.

3. The Laura Ingalls play was terrible
first we go on a terrible cart ride, then we got stuck in a hail/thunder/rain storm. It blew over to the side. When the play started the lighting kept coming on. The best part of the play was the lightning it kept lighting up the sky. I was playing the PSP all the play until the 15 minute intermission. We left. (we were 2 hours early.

2 continued... So we went to the hotel and watched tv. I went to bed on a mat on the ground under the sink. Then In the middle of the night I woke and hit my head on a pole

2nd day

4. Woke up at hotel and took a shower. I ate some terrible breakfest. We checked out.

5. Got in the car and drove to the corn palace. Was terrible there was a giant corn cob walking around. There was a giant gift shop completely over priced. We found all our years of the corn palace and what they looked like. Mine had sports. Then we left without any corn to eat. (we were there for half an hour)

CAR. The scenery was great best part of trip to south Dakota beatiful landscape big hills, long rivers, and big bridges. Now were heading to wall drug for a while then were going to MT. Rushmore. (doesn't sound to promising.)

6. We went to the badlands by surprise with no appretiation from anyone exept mom and dad. The french and the indians actually agreed on something they both called it the bad lands in their own language. My mom took everyone to climb rocks. There were beware of rattlesnakes signs all over. We drove near the cliffs that were really high. My ears kept getting messed up so I kept yawning.

7. Wall drug was giant. Next to the scenery it was the best of the trip. (so far) I got a rootbeer malt which was real good. There were a lot of goodies that we could get that is up to 10$. There were like twelve different rooms

8. We made it to the hotel where we got a great room. It was the holiday in and watched a movie.(Kung Fu Panda)
Then we went swimming.

Now if I was his mom it'd be all about cable TV and swimming, something his mother has always hated to do. I hope for the kids sake the next leg of their journey includes lots of TV and video games and no more of the educational stuff.

Hmmm, what's that? I took my children to South Dakota in a pop-up camper last year? No way. We did not camp at the Ingalls Homestead. We couldn't have. I was going to be the fun mom remember?

Intentions, Part Four

This is turning into a saga and I really didn't intend it to... no pun intended! While I was thinking about the next post which is now going to have to be part five, God reminded me of something. It's not so fun to think about. But you know if we intentionally live for Christ we will be changed. And if we raise our kids to be like Jesus they will be changed. I want them to be changed and be more like Jesus. I like to think of it in terms of things going super duper. The whole rainbows and happy faces mentality I refer to at times. But more often than not, as we deliberately move closer to Christ or when He's trying to get our attention change comes through pain, trials and suffering.

Why would He do that? If I'm growing in Him and reading the Bible and praying that means only good things will happen. If I'm raising my kids to love Jesus, and building good relationships with them then all with go great and they will be perfect. They'll make the right choices, love their siblings and all the other things I want for them. Right?

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. " James 1:3

Wrong! It's through the difficult and painful times that God really causes us to grow. We have to be mature and complete! It's where our faith is put to the test. As we trudged through difficult struggles last winter I worried about how it would affect the kids. There were lots of unknowns. There were honestly only a few fleeting moments when we questioned if our marriage would survive, but the fall out included thoughts of moving, job changes and general life upheaval. When we talked to the kids about things, they were scared. I wanted so badly to shield them from every stress in this situation and life, but I couldn't.

It was a huge growing time for us to be able to respond with things like: I'm scared too but God is with us. He knows the future. He loves us. He will provide for us. And we'll be together no matter what. It isn't what I would have chosen for us, but God used it for good in our lives. It brought us closer, made us appreciate what we have in each other and showed us who is in control. Those lessons were important for us to learn, even if they were a bit painful.

Yesterday, I was praying with a friend from church. She is a great example to me of a Godly woman. When her kids were young she was diagnosed with Leukemia. She had a bone marrow transplant. They were not sure she would live several times. She went on to make a full, miraculous recovery. Their family was brought together in a powerful way. I'm sure they wouldn't have chosen that path, but God used it for His purposes. They might never even know all of them on this earth.

So don't look for God just under the rainbow. Don't only look for or expect growth through fun things and good times. God doesn't always work like that. Maybe you are in a financial tough spot. It's easy to wonder why God would allow that instead of looking at what He's doing.

It's a weird peaceful feeling to know that no matter what comes, God is in control. He has our best interest at heart. He loves our kids even more than we do. Try as we may to shield them from difficulty and pain, eventually life will happen. I want to instead teach them to rely on God always, good or bad. And to continue to walk with Jesus with Joy knowing that our suffering here will only last a little while. Soon we will be face to face with our Savior. Isn't that the point of life? To look forward to heaven and Jesus? I know that for me, the good times don't provide that like the hard times. And maybe that's the point.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised."
Job 1:21

"The sun will no more be your light by day,
nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you,
for the Lord will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
Your sun will never set again,
and your moon will wane no more,
the Lord will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end."
Isaiah 60:19-20