Footprints in the Pudding

I don't think you could consider yourself a "christian home" in the 1970's unless you had a macrame wall hanging of the poem "Footprints in the Sand" (or those name plaques: Michelle- Godly Woman). But when I was in the shower yesterday Maren took matters into her own hands and did footprints in the pudding and kool-aid. I don't take long shower (anymore) and when I got in she was quietly reading herself "Goodnight Moon" on the couch. I came out to this.






Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean up Kool-Aid? It smears and stains everything. My hands and her feet are still red!



MMMM...anyone thirsty for kool-aid?


The funny thing is that I didn't get mad at all. The floor really needed to be washed anyway, along with the sink and tub. I'm not sure if I am growing more patient or just don't care anymore. During clean up, I decided I should start potty training her because really, what's one more big mess? She likes running around with no clothes on, so it's working out pretty well.

I've often wondered if I have lack of patience or anger issues. You know when the kids do stuff to freak you out or push your buttons and you snap. Maybe God is using Maren to help take the fight out of me, in a good way. The little things don't bother me as much. I'm too tired to get mad anyway. Not to say that I think it's OK for her to go in the cupboard and empty our stash of kool-aid and pudding, because clearly I don't. Those are two very precious commodities in this house. And yet, I didn't feel the need or desire to yell.

Maybe I should see if my parents still have our "Footprints in the Sand" wall hanging because I like to think that Jesus is carrying me at those moments, helping me not mess up. And through his grace giving me patience and gentleness to press on.

Days like yesterday momentarily cause me to want to run away, but I really don't. Tomorrow I have to be gone all day at a conference and I must say I don't want to go. I hate being gone and missing my messy, wild, somewhat disobedient, beautiful, wonderful, fun and loving kids.

Oh and just in case it's been 30 years since you read "footprints", here is a modern day, internet version.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

WARNING: Motherhood May Lead to Weight Gain

Well, that isn't exactly the title of the article I read, but it might as well have been. I used to be the girl who could eat ANYTHING! And I did. In college, I ate M&M's and drank Diet Coke for breakfast, grabbed a donut between classes before running through the Taco Bell drive through on my way to work and easily slipped into a size 6 bridesmaid dress.

Then I got married and thought I should be able to eat as much as my husband. I quit working and enjoyed the beauty of baking and eating.

Then I had kids. And now even if I ate nothing but tofu and actually had time to exercise like I should, I would still not lose a pound. I think I know why now. Studies show that stress and lack of sleep *may* (meaning most certainly, guaranteed to) lead to weight gain. Really now?

I don't know any group of people that are more stressed-out or sleep-deprived than moms. So you get pregnant, gain weight, grow a huge belly only to move on to no sleep, stress and living life around the eating patterns of your offspring. The offspring will typically suck you dry of all your energy and motivation leaving you incapable of forming a complete sentence let alone exercising.

Let me share something with you from Health magazine; my favorite, guilt- inducing periodical.

"One of the first questions I ask clients like Tia Carrere (who? - was she in Wayne's World?) is how much they're sleeping. There are some really dramatic studies out there that link not getting enough sleep to obesity. We're just beginning to realize that the quality and quantity of our sleep affects our appetite in ways we never dreamed it did. When you are sleep-deprived, your body produces low levels of leptin and high levels of ghrelin, two hormones that affect how full you feel. I often find that once clients start getting seven to eight hours of sleep a night, they're much less likely to overeat and the pounds just come off."
Jackie Keller, an L.A. based celebrity trainer
(Health Magazine, May 2009, page 46)

Well, even if Jackie Keller wants to come over, tuck me into bed early, do my chores and sit up with my kids at night, I have another problem: stress. That's the other big factor. I know my family is a joy to me, but it's also a wee bit stressful at times: keeping up with the schedule, moods, laundry, appetites and messes of my family. I need a bowl of ice cream just thinking about it!

With all this new knowledge, I think it's high time I make some changes to my routine and realize.....

I am doomed.

Hurt

I've come to terms with the fact that there will be hurt in life. But just because you know it's coming doesn't make it any easier when it hits! I've had shin splints, fights with friends, disappointment with people that have caused hurt. But truth be told, my life hasn't involved a lot of pain. Being in "the ministry" full-time seems as though you might fly through life with a hymn on your lips, bible in hand and casserole in the oven. Unfortunately, it's messier than that (and no, I'm not referring to my casseroles).

Some ministry friends of ours are going through times of great hurt in their church. Ours may not be so blatant but nonetheless when you have poured your lives into a church for over a decade it is difficult to not take it personally. There are people choosing to walk away from Christ and the church altogether. There are people choosing other bigger, better, fancier, more dramatic churches. Sometimes I want to play tough and pretend I don't care, but I do.

My hurt is not so much (anymore at least) feeling bad that there will be more empty spots in church. It's truly because God has given me a love for the people He's brought into our lives. I want them to have the joy that can only be found in Him and the hope of eternal life. But all I can do is tell them about it, I can't make them choose it. Only God can.

There are parents I know that hurt over their childrens' choices and yearn for them to return. Many hurt over their childrens' physical ailments and deficiencies. Some hurt over what could have been or what may come. Some may hurt over their mistakes and failures as parents.

Maybe hurt is good thing in that it shows me the depth of my love. It helps me identify with Christ. It's not a good thing if it makes me vengeful, depressed or fall away from what God wants me to do - then I'm the one walking away!

I think now I might have a little glimpse into how Jesus felt when people He loved enough to die for rejected Him. Hurt. Sad. His sadness proves his great love. He wants people to come to Him and be saved. 2 Peter 3:9 says,

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

As His followers, we are promised suffering and persecution just like He faced!


Luke 17:25

But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation.

1 Peter 2:4

As you come to him, the living Stone - rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him -

John 15:20

Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.

2 Titus 3:12

In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,

So what do I do with hurt? I can rejoice in being identified with Christ. He was persecuted, rejected, and suffered the greatest hurt on this earth. But He stayed on message. He stayed on course. He loved deeply. If He didn't, he would not have endured the cross for me.

I can't let the hurt in my life or ministry harden me. I need to bring it back to the One who knows firsthand how it feels. I can find solace, rest and courage in His arms. Wherever he leads, I've got to continue to love.

Wedding Season

Wedding season is fast approaching. I've already received some beautiful save the date cards from kids that were in grade school when we moved here! And since this post is going to talk a lot about weddings, I am tempted to put one of my wedding pictures on here but I don't think digital cameras existed when we got married so all I have are prints and negatives and what good are those?

Purity is definitely something I want to instill in my kids. In fact, I have all the stuff for "Passport 2 Purity" sitting on my shelf waiting for the chance to take Jenna away for a day or two.

Purity is also something that I was taught: Sex outside marriage is a sin. Got it. But I think what drove me to be serious about purity was pretty legalistic. It had more to do with being good and not getting pregnant and pleasing my parents and church. Not that there isn't a place for that kind of extrinsic motivation.

On the other side of the coin, I have a friend who said she didn't feel beautiful on her wedding day because of her lack of purity. Her husband hates it when she says that. She may have been taught like me that it is almost an unforgivable sin. However, God forgives. He forgives the fact that I have impure thoughts just like he forgives impure actions. 1 John 1:9 anyone?

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

In the last week of Bible study on Corinthians we read this verse:

2 Corinthians 11:2
I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy.
I promised you to one husband, to Christ,
so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.

Paul is telling the Corinthian church that he wants them to love Christ most. He wants them to be reserved for Christ and Christ only without blemish.

As I teach my kids the Godly value of purity , I want them to see it in relation to Christ and the church. Yes, there are consequences to bad decisions. But more importantly, I want them to see the joy and anticipation of the church, perfect and pure, being presented to Christ. And what a beautiful picture that is.

In my own personal battle against sin, this gives me reason to fight the good fight of faith. Sometimes I let myself question and wonder why I care if I do a few bad things here or there. I might think a bad thought or have a bad attitude or talk bad about someone else, but it's not as bad as SOME people. That, my friends, is spiritual pride. Sin is sin to God. And this verse shows me the non-legalistic motivation for staying sin-free and confessing my sins: a coming reunion with the ultimate Groom, Jesus Christ.

I remember in the weeks leading up to my wedding going to hear a friend sing at her church. She and her mom looked at me and smiled. They said, "She's glowing!" All the months of preparations were about to come to fruition and I was about to burst with joy.

Oh do I want to be ready! I want to feel beautiful and be free when he comes for me.

Keep on Keeping On

Even though the other day was a breakthrough of sorts, I figured I better prepare to battle for joy again. It was unseasonably warm for April in Northern Minnesota. After I got the kids off to school, I cleaned up and packed a picnic. The little girls and I headed out to our ECFE (Early Childhood Family Ed) with Annie on her bike and Maren in the stroller.

This was my view most of the way there. I could look at this all day.



We picked up Mike and got to the park with only slight battles about the stroller ride. But once we got there Maren was a maniac on the big slide!




We ate our sandwiches and drank our Big Bird juice boxes.




We dropped Mike off at the office and scored a Diet Coke out of his fridge. Annie brought it home in her basket.




Maren fell asleep and Annie got tired of riding bike. I carried her at the end.



I think they were worn out when we got home.




I think everyone had a joyful day.

Today it's cool and cloudy. Mike is at a funeral and I'm trying to clean house a little. The kids love helping out with that... It's just another day to keep on going, keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus.