One Foot In The World

The girls take gymnastics at an old school turned community center. The gymnastics academy shares a hallway with a yoga place. I laughed when I got there last week and saw a sign on the yoga door that said: "Quiet Please, Class In Session". You can smell the incense burning and they are doing what they can to relax, but all afternoon and evening there are over 100 aspiring gymnasts running, rolling, flipping and screaming up and down the hallways. Add to that the younger siblings waiting with their parents and it's total choas. I don't think the sign or the incense is going to make one bit of difference in the noise level!

I think trying to raise kids to be disciples of Jesus Christ in this culture is like walking around with a sign around my neck that says "I Love God" while the world rages on around us. It won't take too long to be overpowered by the noise. And although I say I am raising a "christian" family and we go to church, am I really truly cultivating an authentic relationship with Christ away from the pew? I mean, come on, I have at least 10 different bibles and I've read every James Dobson book on the market. But often my thoughts are not fixed on the long haul, the hearts of my kids. It is consumed with the here and now. And I want the here and now to be fun and comfy - like a pair of Tweety Bird flannel pajamas!

The grim reality, however, is that in many ways I am actually cultivating and encouraging worldly values in my kids. It has become so engrained in my psyche that I hardly even notice. I want my kids to have the things other kids have, to be liked by other kids, and not to do anything that people would consider "unusual" (However, all things 7 year old boys do qualify as unusual - and I hear it only gets weirder). Unwittingly, I'm guiding my kids toward popularity, materialism, and in turn downsizing their relationship with Christ.

Last year, I was challenged with a situation one of our kids was facing at school. There was someone we know being teased by our kid's friends. My first reaction unfortunately was for them to just walk away or avoid it. Why put their friendships at risk or get out of their comfort zone because of another child? What was I thinking? Of course, I should be teaching them to stop them, intervene and befriend the other child. Am I so consumed with my kids sitting alone at lunch or being left out by a group of kids that I am willing to sell out Jesus' teachings? Obviously, I was on the edge of that.

But I think we all buy into that so easily. We should love Jesus as long as He makes us happy, healthy, wealthy, and popular. Kids need to learn that there is a cost to following Christ and that no matter what happens, even if your friends disown you, standing up for Christ, and in turn others is what God calls us to do. Maybe I should learn that myself! How much cost have I had in my cushy little church life?

To live with authentic faith, being focused on Christ in all avenues of life: at home with their siblings, at school with friends and how they act when they play sports is what I desire for them. Is it more important, even at a young age, to stand right before our Lord or have someone to play with at recess? Silly question, right?

So how do I train my kids to live for Christ and sacrifice for Him in this selfish and cruel world? I think part of it for me is looking at the big picture. We aren't just dealing with elementary school issues, these are character issues. We aren't just living for the here and now, we've got eternity to look forward to. They need to develop this kind of stuff in order to grow into a mature disciple of Jesus.

If I don't change my mind set, in 10 years when they are teenagers I might look back and think, How did this happen? How could they have walked away? How could they be acting like this? We are a "good" church family. We have Jesus plaques and bible verses hanging on our walls (literally we do!).

I know a lot of faithful Christian parents who have lived authentic faith and taught it to their kids and their kids have still walked away. We are not in control of the final outcome, but we are accountable to live for Christ and teach them to do the same. Not just at church and bible study or when it is convenient, but all the time.

It's all about God, glorifying and enjoying him. It is so hard to keep that in focus living in this world. But I think that's my problem, I'm focused on THIS World way too much!

Romans 12:1-2
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy,
to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -
this is your spiritual act of worship.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -
his good, pleasing and perfect will."

A Dirty Word?

Submission just sounds like a dirty word, doesn't it? For some reason it seems to leave a bad taste in my mouth. You can almost hear the snarl in the way people say it, "submissssssion". Why is it that I have come to loathe this biblical concept?

I don't think I have only a problem submitting to my husband, in reality I just don't want anyone telling me what to do! But it always comes to a head in my marriage. There are the big issues like having more kids, schooling and discipline. Then there are the minor ones like buying a new back pack, monitoring T.V. time and involvement in "activities". Either way I find it exhausting and frustrating. Why does he get to make all the final decisions? Who made him the king of the universe?

Well, the true King of the Universe put him in charge! If I am unwilling to submit to my husband then I am ultimately spitting in the face of God and walking away. I don't want to disobey God and be distanced from his grace and mercy. He has called me to submission and I think one of his reasons might be that it will help make me more like Jesus.

When Mike and I are butting heads over a certain issue -- certainly we should discuss it, but ultimately I have to give it over to God. The result is not bondage (as I think it will be), the result is FREEDOM! I need to get to the point where I can say, this is how I feel and what I think, now that ball is in your court. Then my job is to pray and commit it to God. THEN LET GO! I have a pretty tight grip sometimes so that is really hard!

It's never pleasant to go against Mike, our marriage suffers, our family suffers and our relationship with Christ suffers. Here's an example from a few years back. We had 2 little kids. There were a lot of things that were difficult in our life at the time, one of the big ones was our finances (or lack of). The more I spent, the more Mike tried to control. The more control he yielded, the more I wanted to spend. So, one day the kids and I trotted off to the mall. (I can remember that I liked to go there and look at all the things I couldn't afford and pity myself.) I decided that we should go out to lunch. I went to the cash machine and took out $40 - a lot of money! I was doing it out of spite, I knew he would find out but there would be nothing he could do about it.

I can remember it so clearly, I was pushing the double stroller and somewhere along the way I dropped the cash. My heart sank! The humility of dropping it for some reason convicted me. I honestly wasn't worried about the money, I just realized how wrong I was and that I didn't want to keep going in the direction I was headed. Well, a gracious woman behind me chased me down and gave it back to me. I did not spend a penny of that money and took it straight home. That was the beginning of being able to let go for me. I realized that my problem wasn't with Mike, but it was my heart - selfishness, pride and more were at the source of this hiddeous teenage-like behavior.

I had this paper from college. I don't know who wrote it, but it was life changing for me in the way I looked at submission. So here it is:

A Summary of the Special Biblical Secret:
Submission

-I Submit to God. I'll ask Him, and wait for Him to meet all my needs. (Psalm 62:1, Phillipians 4:6-7,19)

-I realize how valuable I am to Christ because he gave his life for me. (John 3:16)

-While waiting for my needs to be met through Christ, I'll attend to the needs of those around me. I'll forget about my needs because God is taking care of them (Ephesians 3:19-20), and I'll focus on what I can do for others. (John 15:11-12)


Wow! It doesn't seem like such a bad tasting word to me now! And I'm learning that I can submit and serve with Joy, not duty (ok sometimes it's duty). There were times in my life when I refused to submit to God and Mike. I thought I knew what I wanted and needed. The things I was seeking were and could have been devastating and disastrous. God knows our needs and how to meet them. How foolish I am not to trust that!

We choose submission out of reverance for Christ, we don't have do it because we are less. Jesus was a humble servant and submitted to the will of his Father. Is there anything better than to be like than Jesus? I've got a long way to go in this area!


Don't tell me you didn't figure these verses were coming:

Ephesians 5:21-24
"Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

The Most Important Place to Take Our Kids

Sorry, I haven't blogged in a few days. I suppose I could say I've been "busy". But actually I've had some technical difficulties with my computer. I've spent several hours working on my blog with nothing to show for it except my realization that I really know nothing about computers! Anyway, I'll get on with it:

We take our kids to lots of places: the dentist, the doctor, soccer practice, school, church, boy scouts, and piano lessons - just to name a few! But how often do we take them to the throne of grace, the most important appointment by far?

Why is it so hard to spend time praying for our kids? And even when I do pray for them I find myself praying things like: help them to have a good day, protect them and help them on their test or heal their ear infection. Those are good things to pray about - we should take everything to God. However, I desire to pray on a much deeper level for them - their hearts, sin, salvation and character. I feel kind of at a loss on how to dive into a deeper prayer life on their behalf.

I've tried to read some books on the subject, but they are still on the shelf half read. Then I found these little prayer cards from Pray! Magazine. They are called 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Children and Spiritual Blessings to Pray for Your Children. I can keep them in my bible and pray one or two virtues or blessings a day. I've been doing that this summer and it's been really helpful to me. It's simple and that's what I need. It just gets me right to the heart of the types of things I want to pray for and they all have scripture references. I am not sure if it is kind of a fast food approach to prayer, but I know that it is getting me started on the road I want to be on. I hope that they will be a means to my goal of a deeper prayer life for my kids.

When I met my mother-in-law 12 years ago, she told me she had been praying for me for 20 years. Each day she prayed for her children's future spouses. What an amazing ministry and testimony (I've added that one to my list). It's very humbling for me to think about that and the lack of dedication I've had. Our kids are God's and praying for them is like releasing them back to Him so He can fulfill his plans and purposes for their lives. Is there any better place for them to be?

Mike and I don't pray together as often as we'd like. Yesterday, it was our goal to spend some time in prayer for our kids and some other issues. He got tied up at the office and didn't get home until the kids were hungry for lunch. Annie was cranky and ready for a nap. Even with our good intentions it didn't seem like it was going to happen. After we took care of a few needs, we had a great prayer time together. Could it be that just like going to church on Sundays, there is someone who wants to stand in the way of our prayer time?

I'm trying to use some of the time I would ordinarily spend watching T.V. to pray. It's a discipline and I'm sure it will be a process to get where I want to be. But I desperately want to be there.

I ordered a bunch of the prayer cards and would be happy to send a set to you. Just email me your snail mail address at anamaniacs@juno.com. I hope they will be as helpful to you as they have been to me!

1 Samuel 12:23
"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you."

Romans 12:12
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

The Second Chance

I like Michael W. Smith. I've been a fan for probably 17 years. Go West Young Man was the album I listened to on my first CD player. I went to one of his concerts and his piano came up through the floor on a platform that spun around! So when someone handed us his movie, "The Second Chance" I felt as if I'd fallen off the Smitty bandwagon because I had never heard of it.

So, we popped it in one night for family movie night. (It is PG-13 but they are portraying and inner-city mission so it is part of the reality. There are a few mild swear words and some gang violence.) I'd tell you it was good because I cried at the end, but then you would have to believe that Cheaper by the Dozen and Homeward Bound deserve Oscars too. But it was good and I think it's worth seeing if you can get your hands on a copy.

It really contrasts the suburban mega-church with an inner city mission. The glitz and glamour of the big church with pastor (Smith) who wears gucci shoes and drives a fancy car. As opposed to the inner city pastor who is painting bridges and helping ex-gang members find jobs.

It is an interesting commentary on churches in America and it really made me think. I tend to long for the big fancy suburban church full of well dressed people with a program for everything because that's how I grew up. Mike grew up in a little church in Nebraska 30 miles from a paved road. He had a totally different experience and he loved it there. So, which is better? I think the answer is neither. God is bigger than all that. He can't be boxed in by the way we do church. He used both of these extremes to disciple us.

The other issue that hit me was materialism, which is something I'm realizing is a huge struggle living and raising kids in this culture. Michael W. Smith's character has all this nice stuff: car, house, clothes. But as he is forced to work in the inner city he starts to see the emptiness in all of it especially in contrast to the devastation and poverty of the people at the mission. I'm being challenged to think through what we have, what we buy, what we need. I don't think I've given my heart completely over to God in this area.

Check it out and let me know what you think!

Ouch - That Hurts!

Don't you just hate being hurt? I'm not talking about a physical injury like my poor little foot that can be dealt with by a little antibiotic ointment and a band aid. I'm talking about heart hurt. And I think it stings more than any physical injury I've had. That is also why I think as parents we want so desperately to protect our kids from having to deal with the pain and sorrow of heart hurt.

I can remember the first time one of my friends didn't want to play with me or mean words from another child all the way back to grade school. It's a double whammy because I've got a long memory and I'm sensitive. Mike thinks it's crazy that I can remember all that stuff. Maybe more often for women they live with those memories and scars all their lives. People say kids can be cruel, but have they hung around any grown ups lately? News Flash: They can be mean too!

A parent of a little girl shared me this winter that there were boys calling her daugher "fat". My first reaction was anger! My second reaction was devastating sadness for her because she will never forget those words. They will echo in her mind for years to come.

But the reality is, we're going to be hurt and so are our kids. Sometimes it will be a direct result of our faith in Jesus Christ. Sometimes it is as simple as not getting invited to a birthday party.

I was licking my wounds today over a few recent things and it stinks! But do you know what it did? It drove me straight into God's loving arms: the only place that I know will truly provide refuge, comfort and healing. I shed a few tears, read the Bible and started to give it all over to Him.

And THAT is what I want to teach my kids. Not to avoid hurt, not to harden their hearts and hurt back, not that Mommy will go clean house on the playground, but to take it to God. And then, through His power, to turn around and love those people back. What an unbelievable lesson! It's one I'm still learning.


Psalm 18:2
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."


Matthew 5:10
"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 5:44
"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"