What's Fair is Fair or Is It?

Fairness seems like a good thing to go by in a family. Everyone should have the same thing, the same amounts or an equal substitute. When my sister and I had to share a candy bar or brownie we instituted the "you cut, I choose" plan. Whoever cut would try to make sure it was exactly even and whoever chose would try to get the bigger piece. The problem is that it can't always be fair in a family or in life.

But do you know what I have come to realize? Fairness breeds selfishness. If someone else has something, then I deserve something of equal or greater value. When we were cutting the candy bar we weren't being careful to cut it even so it would be fair, we were trying to make sure the other person didn't get MORE!

I find myself buying into this even as an adult. My neighbor is taking their family to Disneyworld (on an airplane - no van with a junky trailer behind it!) Our friends have expensive toys. The list goes on and on. Then the pity party comes on that we can't afford to go on fancy trips or have fancy toys and you know what - IT ISN'T FAIR!

I want to train my kids to realize that Johnny gets to go to Disneyworld so let's be happy for him. We have to share a candy bar, well let's be gracious and give the bigger piece away. What do we have to complain about? We have a great house to live in , food to eat and clothes to wear. God has provided for us. In the end maybe we are saying to God "What you've given me isn't good enough. I want what you gave them instead."

1 Timothy 6:17-19
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant
nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain,
but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.
In this way they will lay up a treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age,
so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."

Tied Down

We've been putting Annie in her car seat A LOT lately! (We've driven 4,000 miles in the last two months). She does not like to be tied down. She starts crying, kicking and screaming. Sometimes it is a challenge to win the battle! Who knew a 15 month old could have such strength and determination!

But there are times when we are going somewhere wonderful, a place she will love like a park or swimming pool and she doesn't know that she needs to experience the discomfort and inconvenience of her car seat for a greater good. You silly little baby, if you would just realize that you are going to love playing in this pool, the car seat wouldn't be so bad! Our older kids understand the excitement of what is to come so they don't mind.

I wonder if God thinks that about me. I'm kicking and screaming about some situation in my life and I can't see what He is going to accomplish through it. There are times I've felt tied down with marriage, family, ministry and finances (and still do) . But I can look back and see that He's using those things for a greater good - He's pushing me to grow and mature. I really don't want to go back to being the person I was 5 years ago (well, maybe back to the dress size). He's given me peace and understanding about a lot of things. I'm sure there will be many more periods of growth I'll need over my lifetime, but I hope I can look at it and see the excitement of good things to come!

Hebrews 12:2-3
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith,
who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,
so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

The Griswold's

While we were on sabbatical we thought it would be nice to bring our bikes. So we hooked up this really classy homemade trailer to our van. It's a piece of plywood on wheels. We strapped all our bikes to the top. Then for an added touch we put a rooftop luggage carrier on the trailer too. Now some of this was a necessity for space for a family of 6 on the road for a month. But I kept noticing people passing us on the interstate and looking and snickering at our rig.

To make it worse, when we got to Colorado we decided to go biking at Lake Dillon. It is up in the mountains and it is the main water supply for the city of Denver (FYI). It is a beautiful spot. Everyone that was parked there had these really nice cars and bike racks. And we pull in a la Clark Griswold. (Have you seen the Vacation movies?) As we were getting ready to go, we realized that my bike was broken and the bike trailer for the little girls was missing a bolt, thus it only had one wheel. I thought, boy am I ever glad we hauled this thing half way across the country now! So Abby and I walked and pushed Annie in the stroller. Mike rode with the older kids only to find out they were on the wrong path - it was the walking path, not the biking path. I fell down a hill and scraped up my leg (not to mention my pride) and it was 100 degrees. Now this is family fun?

Usually when things go this well for us we end up in a big fight. I like to blame Mike for everything! So I am proud to say we actually laughed about it. After we gave up and packed up our beautiful rig, we headed back to where we were staying. There was a traffic accident and they had closed the road! Grant started crying as we turned around, "now we're never going to get home!" Mike reminded him to think about the people in the accident and what they are going through. Our little inconvenience paled in comparison. We prayed for the people in the accident. So all in all, not a bad day!

We finally made it home and didn't bike again until we got to Wyoming and did some repair work on the bikes. Do you ever have days where you feel like you shouldn't have left the house? After we had to change our route for the accident I quit feeling sorry for myself and was thankful that we were all safe and healthy (except for my leg).

We're promised troubles in this world, somedays it may be as small as a bad day or a broken bike and other days it will be much more serious. But the thing to remember, for me and my kids, is that God is in control of it all.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

A Piece of Humble Pie

Yesterday, I was thinking about how important humility is in the Christian life. Marriage and parenting definitely facilitate that. God sure knows what He is doing! Anyway, if you ask my kids what Daddy does in the morning they'll tell you, he drinks coffee, reads the Bible and prays. If you asked them what Mommy does in the morning they would probably say I don't know. She snores and pulls the covers over her head until she hears total chaos break out. Mike, my husband, (who has been blessed with the chipper morning person gene) has disciplined himself to spend time with God in the morning. Not only is that great for his spiritual life, but it is an awesome example to our kids when they wake up in the morning and see him on his knees. Now when Grant wakes up and sees him praying he just grabs his Bible and starts reading.

So when I stumbled out of bed this morning, I came out to see him on his knees praying and it was so humbling to me for several reasons. One is that I feel humbled that God would let me be married to such a Godly guy. But also because I feel like a lazy bum that I am not that disciplined. So, 6:00 a.m might not be my time, but I think I better find a time and get on my knees.

Psalm 119:147
"I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word."

One of Those Days

Wow! The past two days have just been "one of the days" kind of days. Yesterday I spent two hours cleaning the van after our trip. Abby and Annie were in and out throughout the process. When I came in to make lunch, tired and sweaty, I found that they had emptied the dressers of all the clothes and piled them in the middle of the floor. Then after lunch it was time to work in the garden. We have a months worth of weeds to pull and we make the kids help us. They pick up the piles and dump them. They complained and whined the whole time. Now, I want them to learn responsibility but when they come out they get covered head to toe in dirt, drag it all in the house, everyone needs a bath and their complaining takes any joy I have (which is very little) out of gardening; I wonder if it is really worth it.

Today was appointment day. Annie had her 15 month check up. Yep, everyone got to come along. In the waiting room the battery in Grant's GameBoy died and that was tragic. Then they ransacked the doctor's office while we waited, playing a very loud and rowdy game of E.R. and jumping off the table Then it was off to haircuts and the library. The librarians looked at me like, "are you insane?" You know, I think I am!

It is so frusterating to me that the kids are always getting in the way of my agenda. I can't get the laundry done or the house cleaned up or my email checked when they always need attention. It sounds pretty bad to actually put that in writing but that is how I feel most days. I am NOT advocating not cleaning or doing laundry, but what I realized today is that the kids aren't in the way of me doing my job; THEY ARE MY JOB! I think I let everything else get in the way of serving them and ministering to them. That's what I want to do, but I am continually letting these little tasks around the house become more important than they are.


Proverbs 19:21
"Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,
for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."