Living in the Mist

Do you ever stop to think of what life is really all about? I have been doing that a lot lately. I will tell you with my mouth that it's all about God. I will teach my kids that material things don't matter. So why do they always want more? Why can't they live with a heart for Jesus and eternity? Well, it might be because of their mother.

My friend that has been battling cancer passed away this weekend. I know other friends that are in deep grief. There are people hurting all around me. And do you know what I've been thinking about? Money. Poor, poor me raising five kids one income. This month was extra tight because of a mix up. Other people are taking trips we can't afford and buying things that I want. My kids can't have all the material things they want to have, things I'd like to buy them.

So I was challenged about my contentedness. How much is enough? Would I be content when we all had our own computers and entertainment systems? Or if we took a nice family trip?
I have to ask myself if I am I willing to be at peace wherever God puts me. Am I content with doing the things He has called me to do no matter what the cost? And the crazy thing is the cost isn't that big. We have two cars, a house, food, savings and insurance. In comparison with most of the rest of the world, we are super rich. But in comparison to a lot of other people it doesn't seem like enough.

I have no doubt that God knows my heart because He's pruning away at a lot of stuff that just isn't right. Being content comes from faith. Faith that God will indeed do as He promised and provide for us. We may not know from day to day how he will do it. Most people in the American church don't have to have that kind of faith. We rely on ourselves, our jobs, our saving accounts. We don't wonder where our next meal is going to come from. So, He allows us the opportunity to live by faith by making bank dates get messed up. I was on a mission to make it work. I desired to be content and have faith. And I knew it was short lived. Next month it will all balance out.

In the first week of the month, a lady in our church asked if we wanted a ham. She got it from her husband's company and she doesn't cook big meals anymore (I can only dream of that day!) She was at my door with it within the hour. It was massive. I cooked it. I cut up the leftovers for many more meals. We got several other food gifts that stocked our freezer.

So, here we are at the end of the month. And honestly I can't believe it. God knew I needed the opportunity to live by faith, not by bank.

This is where it gets weird. Just this week we had two people give us big, luxury items. Out of the blue. So on top of providing for our needs, he is providing for things we don't even need. And I'm blown away. We do not deserve anything yet God is gracious enough to show us who is in control of everything. He owns it all.

Our life here is a vapor. It's like the little bit of smoke left after a match goes out. I have the choice to spend it chasing after and worrying about and paying for earthly things or investing in God's work that will last forever.

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. James 4:13-17

But is that how we live? Do we live trying to work for more, whine for what we don't have? Do we spend all our time and effort on selfish pursuits? Is life all about houses and cars and money? I think most of us would say no. But is that how we live? Our kids will learn way more about what life is all about by what we do than what we say. So what do you say and what do you do? How do you live in the mist?

Matthew 6:19-21

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Leave No One Behind

The word fight brings up negative feelings for me, mainly because I hate conflict and will avoid it at all costs.  But there is a good side to fighting.  Just living this life is a battle.  The bible talks about fighting and faith which is weird because I like to think about church and God and rainbows and peace and love.

1 Timothy 6:12 says,

“Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

Why is faith a fight?  I was thinking about a few reasons.  We battle against our own sinful nature, against the crazy world we live in and against the devil.  Don’t worry I’m not going loopy, it’s just so naive of me to not think about it that way.  We are warned that this life will not be easy (John 16:33) and that the devil prowls around seeking to destroy us (1 Peter 5:8).

But we have the power of the Holy Spirit.  Even though the devil can have his day right now on this earth, the ultimate battle has already been won by Christ on the cross.  But despite that, either out of fear or ignorance, I fear that we are leaving people behind on the battlefield.  The wounded and weak that can’t continue the fight are being abandoned by the rest of the church. And by me.

I have heard about the “leave no man behind” mantra that the military has?  Or maybe it was in a movie.  Or from a politician. The source doesn’t really matter.  Just this week I heard from several different people with deep wounds.  I remembered what someone said to me when we were facing difficult times this winter.  They said “we aren’t going to let Satan have this one”.  They came and stood by us and fought for us.  We need to fight along with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  And when they are wounded and weak we need to fight for them.

Think about it in the context of soldiers at war.  When someone gets hurt, I can picture the others surging in front of them so the injured can fall back and get the help and comfort them need.  In that way they protect their fallen comrade but it doesn’t stop there.   What soldier would protect while turning their back on the mission?  They also continue the battle.  They press on so no ground is lost because of the injury.

We have weapons.  We have armor.  They are not of this world. 

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons on the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  2 Corinthians 10:3-5

And we have the armor of God.  Have you ever thought about the words in the Bible being a shield?  And the power of the Spirit like a sword?  Amazing.  Yet sadly, instead of using God’s armor to fight, I have my hands full with computers, ipods, books, games, cars, fitness, and recreation. We are distracted and unprepared.  It’d be like a soldier going to battle with a squirt gun when he’s got full access to the arsenal of the United States Military.  Here’s what God’s armor is.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”  Ephesians 6:10-18

I think I am guilty of not seeing the bigger picture of our struggles.  It’s not only a marriage problem that we can work through with therapy.  It’s not just ignoring or casting off the misfits.  It’s not just grief and depression over what happens in our lives.  It’s a spiritual battle.  There is someone that wants to destroy us and hinder the work of Christ, the spread of His salvation. 

So although I hate conflict, I’m ready to fight.  I’m ready to stand next to my fellow soldiers and fight for God’s message. To press on when others can’t.  To step in front of the oncoming fire.   When others are too weak to fight, I’ll stand in the gap for them.  It might be for my husband or children or church family.  My kids especially need me to spiritually fight for them.  They are young and immature.  They may make risky decisions or freeze in fear.  It might be for a perfect stranger.    But we can don the armor and hold out the shield.  Pray for them.  Encourage them, pursue them.  Fight against Satan and his destruction.  And when I’m weak and wounded, I’ll rejoice in other people fighting for me. 

Satan does not want our marriages to persevere.  The world does not want us to forgive.  Satan wants no one else to come to Christ.  Our hearts push us into sinful thoughts and actions.  The battle will end with Christ victorious, but for now the battle rages on.  Will you fight?  Let’s leave no one behind.

Heartbroken

Last night I read a Caring Bridge update that broke my heart. Someone I’ve known for 8 years is dying of cancer.  Her husband wrote that she has stopped treatment and took a turn for the worse last week.  We met at ECFE years ago.  They moved to a different school district so we don’t see each other much.  We did not have a natural connection.  Our beliefs and ideals could not have been farther apart, but I liked her a lot. 

I just read Crazy Love by Francis Chan (and you should read it too!).  It talks about loving people like Jesus does.  He tells how he and his wife downsized their home so they could give more.  And about a family that instead of opening Christmas gifts, takes food to the homeless on Christmas morning.  At first, I didn’t think I was all that challenged by the book.  I thought about a lot of people that should read that book, but didn’t really think it was all that pertinent to me.  How much more could I give?  We are in full-time ministry.  I go to church and teach Vacation Bible School.

Until I read about my friend.  I was convicted.  Did I love her like Jesus?  Did I do enough?  Or did I just try not to offend her or try to make excuses for why I live the way I do.  Now she’s sick.  I’ve had eight years to love her and I haven’t done it.

So I do need to Crazy Love.  I need to be challenged to give more and do more.  I need to love those who hurt me.  I want to reach out to people that have nothing, people that can’t give back.  I should desire to share Jesus with everyone because I have no idea how long any of us really have. 

It would be easy to look at my life and figure I give enough.  I give more than some people.  But God has called me to love like Him.  Do you know anyone who has nothing? Someone that is truly lonely?  It is stunning to realize that I don’t or maybe I’m just not looking because I’m so busy running around living MY life.  I’ve got emails to check and laundry to do and kids to chase after. 

Last night my heart was really heavy thinking about my friend and all the time I’ve spent chasing stupid, frivolous things in this life.  Today we had the opportunity to have some young people in our home that are hurting.  Mike invited them because they recently lost their father.  I didn’t think they would come but they did.  They were tattooed, nervous, had to step outside to have a smoke – not the usual people we have over.  Normally I would feel awkward and annoyed.  But tonight I was thrilled.  This is exactly what God is showing me.  There are people right around me that need the love of Jesus. His love was enough to give His life for each of us and I’m not willing to give up a lot of things I value. 

He’s showing me that I need to spend more time focusing on eternity and less on this world.  I want to radically live and love like Jesus.  I need to pray for God to show me people in my life that are needy.  Sometimes it is hidden or not noticeable at the frenzied pace I run.  I don’t want to read about anyone else I know that is dying and wonder why I didn’t take the opportunity to love them.

What are you doing to help you focus on eternity?  To love like Jesus?  To focus less on our comfort and more on the needs of others?  To think less about what we want and more about what others need? 

Problem Solved

I am truly thankful to have a car to drive.  Really, truly thankful.  It’s big and ugly.  My biggest complaint is not being able to see.  I can’t see when I’m parking or changing lanes.  But fear not, my problems have been solved.

 

Did you know they  make special RV and Camper mirrors?  I didn’t.   It actually does help with the backing up.  Does is matter if I am constantly catching a glimpse of it in the corner of my eye and wondering what is coming up on me so fast?  Does it matter that I feel like I’m driving a semi? 

Of course not, I’m thankful that I can see behind me.  I’m thankful I have a vehicle.  I’m thankful for the continued lesson of not focusing too much on appearance.  I’m thankful for a problem solved.

Wasted Gifts

It’s been a while since I’ve written again!  I have been super busy doing “important” things like playing with the kids, cuddling with my husband, making messy crafts and lots of cookies.  Things that before I didn’t always see the value in.  Well, I’ve always seen the value in cookies.  Things that are now invaluable to me.  So now that I am nursing a sprained ankle from an unsightly running tumble, I finally got to writing.  But there will be more cuddling and playing later.

Our middle child is a thoughtful girl.  She loves making cards for a man in our church, helping with the younger girls and in the kitchen.  She spent a lot of time making this card for Maren, who has been nicknamed “wildfire”. 

Seriously, do you know how special bubble letters are to an 8 year old?

Maren, living up to her nickname, didn’t give it a second look and threw it aside.  Abby was hurt.  She had spent a lot of time on the card and was excited to give it to her.  I wanted to say that she may as well get used to it because this is a cruel world.  Don’t worry, I didn’t. 

I told her about a time that Dad bought me a very special book for Christmas.  He waited for it to come in the mail.  He wrote me a very special poem and put it inside.  On Christmas morning, he was excited for me to open it.  Guess what I did?  I glanced at it, said thanks and stuck in on a shelf.  He was hurt too.  I had no idea the time and thought he put into that gift.

It happens all the time.  Our gifts and talents are disregarded, untreasured or ignored.  We are hurt.  We wonder if it’s worth it.  A lot of times we are too wrapped up in ourselves to think about others.  I remember when we got married and were opening the vast mountains of gifts.  I was put out by the things some people gave us.  Seriously, was I that big of a selfish brat?  (umm, yes!)  People that sacrificed their time and money to come to our wedding and give us a gift?  They could have spent their Saturday doing a lot of other things.  They could have spent their money on something they wanted or needed.

There’s no way to avoid having your gifts overlooked.  The world is moving too fast to care.  Everyone is too busy to think of someone else. 

The time and energy I put into being a mom and wife is the biggest one I can think of.  Sadly, very few people value that or feel valued for it.  Whether you stay home with your kids or come home from a long day at work and put aside your needs for the needs of your family, it’s easy to wonder if it’s worth it.

I think of my kids and their talents.  There are things that they do that will never win them any blue ribbons or scholarships but are not wasted. 

As much as I want to feel valued for my contributions, it doesn’t matter.  I’ll probably never be named Alumni of the Year from the college I went to for being a mother that makes yummy cookies.  My husband may never headline a large Christian conference as pastor of…what church?  Oh yeah, the one no one has ever heard of.

But God has a different perspective.  He says,

“He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives the one who sent me.  Any one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and anyone who receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man’s reward.  And if anyone gives eve a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.”  Matthew 10:40-42

Sometimes, people wonder if I’m wasting my life.  When am I going to DO something with my life?  I wonder it too.  Sometimes people wonder if it’s worth serving a small church.  There are bigger ones out there and the pay is probably better.  Let me tell you a story.  There is a couple serving a small church near us.  The church does not have a big membership.  It’s kind of out in the boonies actually.  But this Pastor and his wife are a beacon for Jesus right there where God has them.  They are talented and dynamic.  They could probably search out a bigger ministry somewhere.  But when Mike and I were struggling through our issues this winter, we called them.  They continued to pursue us, pray for us, meet with us, encourage us.  They met a huge need in our life and very few people will ever know that.  So are they wasting their life serving in a small church?  Not to me they’re not.  I’m a life touched by the gifts God has given them.  

There is someone who sees our gifts and does not ignore them.  He sees all our acts of giving and love.  He values all the talents He’s given.  He values giving in ways that may not be noticed by many because that’s when we are giving from the heart. 

Jesus teaches about doing things not for recognition but for Him in Matthew. 

“Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them.  If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.  So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men.  I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  They your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”  Matthew 6:1-4

What are you doing that seems insignificant and ignored?  Whatever you do, do it for God.  Parent for the glory of Jesus.  Help an elderly friend move stuff out of their garage for the joy of the Lord.  When you are recognized, give the praise to God.  He’ll never disappoint you.  Even if no one else cares or notices, He does.  And in the end, does anyone else really matter?