All's Well That Ends Well

Today was Annie's first day of preschool. It's two afternoons a week through our school district. The best part is they get to ride the bus home. Annie has been looking forward to this since she learned to talk. We kept telling her when she was four she could ride it for preschool. Last April, the DAY she turned four she thought she was going to hop on the bus with the big kids.














To add to the excitement, this preschool is in the same room and has the same teachers that we've had for a several years during ECFE. She has always loved that class too.

So imagine my surprise when we were getting ready to go and she starts showing hesitation. But she quickly rebounded and off we went backpack in hand. She would not carry it in because she thought the kids might laugh at her. I tried to assure her that every kid has a backpack.

I brought my camera and we got to the classroom. She flipped out and clung to me when it was time to go next door and do paperwork. I tried to reason with her for a while then I finally left her screaming. Not just a sad scream but a super ticked off scream. It really did not seem to be the best time for pictures.

While I was filling out paperwork and listening to the teachers, I was also chasing Maren down the hall, pulling her off the chair she pushed up to the drinking fountain and trying to keep her from screaming just for fun. Question and answer time seemed to go on forever. But maybe it was because no one else was wrestling two kids in a 250 degree school or had heard this preschool talk four times already.

Parents that didn't know me probably wondered what my problem was. The parents that do know me already may have clued them in after I left. Luckily the teachers know us well enough to know that I am not totally off my rocker and have seen me in control of my children at least once.

We came back from paperwork for our bus safety ride just as she had calmed down. She was happy on the bus ride. At the end I told her, "It's time for Mommy to go now."
She replied, "I don't want to be here by myself!"

I asked the teachers what I should do. They told me to leave. So I quick said good-bye, grabbed Maren and my papers and ran out the door knocking over small children and other mothers.

I really was not prepared for that response. It seemed like we were getting past the point where it is impossible to take the girls places. I even offered to help my friend who had three little ones with her. She had it all together anyway which was good since I was in no position to help.

Maren and I had to run to the store for a few things after we left. I was very anxious to see how Annie was when she got off the bus or if I had a message on my answering machine telling me to come pick up my screaming kid. Diet Coke was on sale at the store.

We waited. Maren celebrated being the only one at home by drinking Diet Coke out of my new dollar store goblet.
















She also colored on it with permanent marker along with my living room chair.

We walked out to the end of the driveway. As the bus came down the road I wondered what the verdict was?





























She was smiling and happy as you can see. She thought school was awesome although she claims she cried for "80 million hours" before snack.

Then she ate her first day of preschool bribe snack.


















You'd think that it wouldn't be as hard to leave a screaming child when it's your 4th, but it was. You'd think I'd be ready for anything at this point in parenting, but I'm not. I am learning to take it all in stride and not feel like a horrible parent.

When she was eating her snack she told me she was just a little nervous. I'm hoping her next bout of nerves will be a little less loud and a little more private.

She's sound asleep now and ready to go back on Friday. I guess the old saying is true: All's well that ends well.

Funky

Have you ever felt like you were in a funk? I hadn't been able to put my finger on what my problem might be. It lasted way too long to be PMS. I kept taking Pamprin anyway hoping that it might help me be less cranky, tired, moody, and disinterested in life. Finally on Saturday I was desperate enough to pray about it. And wouldn't you know God answered my prayer! A new bottle of pamprin was not the answer. The answer that I felt in my heart was to quit sinning.

I was a little taken aback at first. I mean I am a Pastor's wife. I go to church and teach Sunday School. I appear to be a very nice and good person. But there have been several things I've let creep into my life that are not God honoring. And I didn't care. I could always find a way to justify it. From "I deserve to do this" to "Just one more time". The whole thing left me with a cold heart.

God sent His only Son Jesus to suffer and die for me sin. I cannot believe how easy it is to slip into having a callous attitude toward His sacrifice.

Ephesians 5:3 says
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

Not even a hint. Just a little sin is too much. And I could feel my little thoughts threatening to blow up into bigger ones. I'll be honest, a few things had already become way bigger than I would have ever thought possible. But the more I allowed my heart to continue down that path, the less I cared.

The word Holiness has a lot of negative connotations. It makes me think of people with stiff suits, singing hymns without smiling. But holiness is God setting us apart for Him.

I picked up a book that I've had on my shelf for a long time called "Holiness The Heart God Purifies" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It hit me right where I was at. I read the whole thing in a day.

"None of that [Christian stuff] will get us one iota closer to God if we are ignoring or cherishing sin in our hearts." Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Page 54

I think cherish is a great word choice. For me, it feels good to hold on to some things. They are a little reward or happy place. Why should I have to give everything up?

"The greatest need of your mate, your children, your friends and fellow workers is not your friendship or your acts of service; it is not your abilities or your financial provision; their greatest need is not even your verbal witness of your faith. What they most need to see in you is a reflection of what God is like and of the transforming power of the gospel." Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Page 57

Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I needed to STOP! There are things that I know I need to change, stop watching, stop reading, and stop thinking. The problem is it's hard. It's hard when I rely on myself to fix it and try really hard with all my human sinful might. Then I'm doomed to stay in the pit of sin. But with the power of Christ, I can change. Why am I continually surprised when God does what he promises?

1 Corinthians 1:8-9
He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

God's already giving me some victory. Don't get me wrong: it's a battle. I don't feel stifled or like I'm missing out. I don't feel like I have to start starching my capri pants. I feel freedom. I feel, period. And I'm so thankful.

Are you in a funk? What are the things in your life that you are unwilling to let go of? Things you are watching on TV or reading on the internet that are "no big deal"? The things you say about other people. The angry responses to your family. The many, many ways you can justify everything. (One of my favorites is: "I wouldn't have to get mad if you would behave!") Those little half truths that aren't hurting anyone? The greediness that keeps you running after the next thing? The person you just aren't willing to forgive?

STOP. Whatever it takes come to Jesus and repent. Don't worry if Harry or Susie quit what they were doing. Don't wonder if there's some way around it or if it's no big deal. It is a big deal. God is heavily invested in His holiness and ours.


Romans 6:22
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.


1 Chronicles 16:28-29
Ascribe to the LORD , O families of nations,
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength,
ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name.
Bring an offering and come before him;

Isaiah 35:8
And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it.
worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.

Night Life

Last week we did something very out of the ordinary for us. We went out at 10:00 p.m. Usually we don't go out and usually we are snoring on the couch by then. The Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank were having a CD release party. Our daughter goes to school with the daughter of one of the band members. They are an awesome folk rock type band and super fun to listen to.

It was a long way from my usual mommy world. A long way. And let me just say that I had no idea Duluth had a night life. It is a college town and all but I was surprised. The night life at the college I went to consisted of .... hmmm. I went to a small Christian college. It was wild when we had a watergun fight or threw someone in the pool and were told to quiet down by the scary campus security guy aka my future husband.

I didn't bother to bring my purse since Mike had money. Well, apparently you need an I.D. to get in to these places. Luckily I don't really look 21 anymore and our friend vouched for me.

As the concert goers trickled in I felt a little old. I think the median age in the crowd was 21. The people watching was almost as good as the music. When I was in high school the alternative/grunge movement was just beginning to break into mainstream. The preppy fads were giving way to birkenstocks with wool socks and long flowing skirts. I never really fell into that since I liked my polo shirts and plaid boat shoes. I know, gag me with a spoon.

Things I saw that made me feel right at home:
stirrup pants, high tops, skinny jeans with pink slouch cowboy boots, and a sweater wrapped around the shoulders. I was all over that look in junior high.

Things that were new to me: flasks hung around hips with twine, flaming red mohawks, and folk dancing - shoes and bras optional.

And then there were the capes. One young lady with bright pink hair donned a cape that looked like a child's blanket. That seemed pretty unusual until a big guy came in with a green velvet hooded cape that had sparkles all over it. They both had fun utilizing them in their dancing! It was a sight to behold.

Then there was Harley guy. He stood in the middle of the crowd with his leather jacket and boots and slightly bobbed his head. I guess that's how bikers folk dance.

The next day it all felt kind of like a dream. Mostly because I was half asleep all day but I'm glad I got to see Duluth after dark. I think I'll stay in my mommy world for a while now or at least until I get my hearing comes back.

Goodbye Summer!

Start off the day with a healthy breakfast.





Get pumped up for a new year to the beat of Axel F (If you're my age, you totally know the song! Don't deny it. And don't ask why it's on my iPod)





Head out to the bus. That's not it in the background - that's MY bus!





Time to go! And maybe shed a tear. Or not.



Go home with those left behind.





Get out the fancy dishes.



Not because I'm fancy, but because my normal dishes look like this.



Make some coffee and enjoy leftover cinnamon rolls, baked french toast and scrambled eggs with my kids' friends moms. None of which are happy that it was the first day of school. But we still managed to laugh and have some fun.



Play some games without following the rules.



Take a Nap.



Make First Day of School Cookies. My kids are going to have food issues for sure.







Wait for the kids to come home, eat cookies and talk about their day.





Finally do homework. I mean me: writing checks, signing papers and so on.



And just like that, summer is gone.

Powerful Challenge

The kids are all ready to go back to school tomorrow: shoes, backpacks and school supplies. There's a mix of excitement and nervousness in the air. I usually am more worried about making sure they are ready physically and than working on preparing their hearts. More important than new shoes or pencils is their ability to show the other kids around them the love of Jesus. How do I prepare my kids for a challenge like that?

We had our worship service at a park with a river running through it yesterday. We made use of the river for some baptisms. The testimonies the two men that were being baptized gave were short and to the point but nothing short of amazing. God has been at work in their lives. And one in particular, if you knew him, you would never believe that he follows Christ. You wouldn't have thought it was possible. I didn't.

He was not a nice guy. He coached football, taught phy ed and was Mayor of our little town. There was lots of talk about this colorful guy. Mike knew him through football and faithfully visited with him as he went through a series of health problems. I couldn't understand why he was wasting his time on that guy. This winter that guy was broken and came to Christ. No one could believe it when he came to church week after week, month after month. Yesterday, we heard him give testimony that he had been living only for himself and now he's living for Christ. And he is a changed man. I know many people are still skeptical but I'm not. Not anymore. I've seen the change in him first hand.

Why am I continually surprised in the power of salvation through Jesus? I was reading about Paul last night and his powerful conversion on the road to Damascus. He was violently persecuting Christians. He hated them. And then in one moment God broke through and changed his heart.

Acts 9:1-6
Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. he went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"

"Who are you, Lord?" Saul asked.

"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," he replied. "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

Saul's name was changed to Paul and he became the author of many New Testament books and a missionary church planter.

I believe I've seen a Paul-like conversion. It had nothing to do with the man or how mean he was or a pastor who visited him occasionally. It was the power of the Holy Spirit breaking into this man's heart.

As a parent, my greatest desire is to see my kids come to faith in Christ and faithfully honor and follow Him. It is tempting to force or coerce a salvation prayer or decision to know they are "saved". It's nice to have a date to write down in the front of my Bible. No matter how hard I try I cannot change their hearts from the born sinners they are. The only thing that can change their heart is the Holy Spirit and the most important thing I can do is pray. Sure, I'll take them to Sunday School and talk about Jesus' love and sacrifice. But the work of changing their hearts is not mine.

That's what I learned from Paul and the men that were baptized yesterday.

As I send the kids back off to school this year, I feel compelled to commit myself to praying for the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts for salvation and maturation in Christ. It's the highest calling we have as parents and unfortunately for me, the one that often gets pushed to the back due to other important activities like buying pencils and papers.

Could I challenge you to do the same?




Acts 2:38-39
Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off - for all whom the Lord our God will call."

Ephesians 5:1
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Philippians 2:12-13
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed - not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence - continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.