Funky

Have you ever felt like you were in a funk? I hadn't been able to put my finger on what my problem might be. It lasted way too long to be PMS. I kept taking Pamprin anyway hoping that it might help me be less cranky, tired, moody, and disinterested in life. Finally on Saturday I was desperate enough to pray about it. And wouldn't you know God answered my prayer! A new bottle of pamprin was not the answer. The answer that I felt in my heart was to quit sinning.

I was a little taken aback at first. I mean I am a Pastor's wife. I go to church and teach Sunday School. I appear to be a very nice and good person. But there have been several things I've let creep into my life that are not God honoring. And I didn't care. I could always find a way to justify it. From "I deserve to do this" to "Just one more time". The whole thing left me with a cold heart.

God sent His only Son Jesus to suffer and die for me sin. I cannot believe how easy it is to slip into having a callous attitude toward His sacrifice.

Ephesians 5:3 says
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

Not even a hint. Just a little sin is too much. And I could feel my little thoughts threatening to blow up into bigger ones. I'll be honest, a few things had already become way bigger than I would have ever thought possible. But the more I allowed my heart to continue down that path, the less I cared.

The word Holiness has a lot of negative connotations. It makes me think of people with stiff suits, singing hymns without smiling. But holiness is God setting us apart for Him.

I picked up a book that I've had on my shelf for a long time called "Holiness The Heart God Purifies" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It hit me right where I was at. I read the whole thing in a day.

"None of that [Christian stuff] will get us one iota closer to God if we are ignoring or cherishing sin in our hearts." Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Page 54

I think cherish is a great word choice. For me, it feels good to hold on to some things. They are a little reward or happy place. Why should I have to give everything up?

"The greatest need of your mate, your children, your friends and fellow workers is not your friendship or your acts of service; it is not your abilities or your financial provision; their greatest need is not even your verbal witness of your faith. What they most need to see in you is a reflection of what God is like and of the transforming power of the gospel." Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Page 57

Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I needed to STOP! There are things that I know I need to change, stop watching, stop reading, and stop thinking. The problem is it's hard. It's hard when I rely on myself to fix it and try really hard with all my human sinful might. Then I'm doomed to stay in the pit of sin. But with the power of Christ, I can change. Why am I continually surprised when God does what he promises?

1 Corinthians 1:8-9
He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

God's already giving me some victory. Don't get me wrong: it's a battle. I don't feel stifled or like I'm missing out. I don't feel like I have to start starching my capri pants. I feel freedom. I feel, period. And I'm so thankful.

Are you in a funk? What are the things in your life that you are unwilling to let go of? Things you are watching on TV or reading on the internet that are "no big deal"? The things you say about other people. The angry responses to your family. The many, many ways you can justify everything. (One of my favorites is: "I wouldn't have to get mad if you would behave!") Those little half truths that aren't hurting anyone? The greediness that keeps you running after the next thing? The person you just aren't willing to forgive?

STOP. Whatever it takes come to Jesus and repent. Don't worry if Harry or Susie quit what they were doing. Don't wonder if there's some way around it or if it's no big deal. It is a big deal. God is heavily invested in His holiness and ours.


Romans 6:22
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.


1 Chronicles 16:28-29
Ascribe to the LORD , O families of nations,
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength,
ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name.
Bring an offering and come before him;

Isaiah 35:8
And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it.
worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.

Night Life

Last week we did something very out of the ordinary for us. We went out at 10:00 p.m. Usually we don't go out and usually we are snoring on the couch by then. The Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank were having a CD release party. Our daughter goes to school with the daughter of one of the band members. They are an awesome folk rock type band and super fun to listen to.

It was a long way from my usual mommy world. A long way. And let me just say that I had no idea Duluth had a night life. It is a college town and all but I was surprised. The night life at the college I went to consisted of .... hmmm. I went to a small Christian college. It was wild when we had a watergun fight or threw someone in the pool and were told to quiet down by the scary campus security guy aka my future husband.

I didn't bother to bring my purse since Mike had money. Well, apparently you need an I.D. to get in to these places. Luckily I don't really look 21 anymore and our friend vouched for me.

As the concert goers trickled in I felt a little old. I think the median age in the crowd was 21. The people watching was almost as good as the music. When I was in high school the alternative/grunge movement was just beginning to break into mainstream. The preppy fads were giving way to birkenstocks with wool socks and long flowing skirts. I never really fell into that since I liked my polo shirts and plaid boat shoes. I know, gag me with a spoon.

Things I saw that made me feel right at home:
stirrup pants, high tops, skinny jeans with pink slouch cowboy boots, and a sweater wrapped around the shoulders. I was all over that look in junior high.

Things that were new to me: flasks hung around hips with twine, flaming red mohawks, and folk dancing - shoes and bras optional.

And then there were the capes. One young lady with bright pink hair donned a cape that looked like a child's blanket. That seemed pretty unusual until a big guy came in with a green velvet hooded cape that had sparkles all over it. They both had fun utilizing them in their dancing! It was a sight to behold.

Then there was Harley guy. He stood in the middle of the crowd with his leather jacket and boots and slightly bobbed his head. I guess that's how bikers folk dance.

The next day it all felt kind of like a dream. Mostly because I was half asleep all day but I'm glad I got to see Duluth after dark. I think I'll stay in my mommy world for a while now or at least until I get my hearing comes back.

Goodbye Summer!

Start off the day with a healthy breakfast.





Get pumped up for a new year to the beat of Axel F (If you're my age, you totally know the song! Don't deny it. And don't ask why it's on my iPod)





Head out to the bus. That's not it in the background - that's MY bus!





Time to go! And maybe shed a tear. Or not.



Go home with those left behind.





Get out the fancy dishes.



Not because I'm fancy, but because my normal dishes look like this.



Make some coffee and enjoy leftover cinnamon rolls, baked french toast and scrambled eggs with my kids' friends moms. None of which are happy that it was the first day of school. But we still managed to laugh and have some fun.



Play some games without following the rules.



Take a Nap.



Make First Day of School Cookies. My kids are going to have food issues for sure.







Wait for the kids to come home, eat cookies and talk about their day.





Finally do homework. I mean me: writing checks, signing papers and so on.



And just like that, summer is gone.

Powerful Challenge

The kids are all ready to go back to school tomorrow: shoes, backpacks and school supplies. There's a mix of excitement and nervousness in the air. I usually am more worried about making sure they are ready physically and than working on preparing their hearts. More important than new shoes or pencils is their ability to show the other kids around them the love of Jesus. How do I prepare my kids for a challenge like that?

We had our worship service at a park with a river running through it yesterday. We made use of the river for some baptisms. The testimonies the two men that were being baptized gave were short and to the point but nothing short of amazing. God has been at work in their lives. And one in particular, if you knew him, you would never believe that he follows Christ. You wouldn't have thought it was possible. I didn't.

He was not a nice guy. He coached football, taught phy ed and was Mayor of our little town. There was lots of talk about this colorful guy. Mike knew him through football and faithfully visited with him as he went through a series of health problems. I couldn't understand why he was wasting his time on that guy. This winter that guy was broken and came to Christ. No one could believe it when he came to church week after week, month after month. Yesterday, we heard him give testimony that he had been living only for himself and now he's living for Christ. And he is a changed man. I know many people are still skeptical but I'm not. Not anymore. I've seen the change in him first hand.

Why am I continually surprised in the power of salvation through Jesus? I was reading about Paul last night and his powerful conversion on the road to Damascus. He was violently persecuting Christians. He hated them. And then in one moment God broke through and changed his heart.

Acts 9:1-6
Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. he went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"

"Who are you, Lord?" Saul asked.

"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," he replied. "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

Saul's name was changed to Paul and he became the author of many New Testament books and a missionary church planter.

I believe I've seen a Paul-like conversion. It had nothing to do with the man or how mean he was or a pastor who visited him occasionally. It was the power of the Holy Spirit breaking into this man's heart.

As a parent, my greatest desire is to see my kids come to faith in Christ and faithfully honor and follow Him. It is tempting to force or coerce a salvation prayer or decision to know they are "saved". It's nice to have a date to write down in the front of my Bible. No matter how hard I try I cannot change their hearts from the born sinners they are. The only thing that can change their heart is the Holy Spirit and the most important thing I can do is pray. Sure, I'll take them to Sunday School and talk about Jesus' love and sacrifice. But the work of changing their hearts is not mine.

That's what I learned from Paul and the men that were baptized yesterday.

As I send the kids back off to school this year, I feel compelled to commit myself to praying for the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts for salvation and maturation in Christ. It's the highest calling we have as parents and unfortunately for me, the one that often gets pushed to the back due to other important activities like buying pencils and papers.

Could I challenge you to do the same?




Acts 2:38-39
Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off - for all whom the Lord our God will call."

Ephesians 5:1
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Philippians 2:12-13
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed - not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence - continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Commitments

As I was driving home today I noticed red and yellow leaves on the trees. We went to the school open house tonight and had fun playing with friends and seeing new classrooms. And as fall comes I am struggling with commitment. If I commit to everything I did last year I may need to be committed.

I hate being stuck at home so I usually fill my schedule up. It's full with good things and things I like doing: bible studies, girl scouts, Sunday school, volunteering in classrooms. But I was forever cleaning or planning for the next thing. And I have no desire to do it again. I'm already tired of it and I've had all summer off.

Annie is growing up quickly. She insisted on bringing her own backpack to the open house tonight stuffed so full she could harldy lift it. It's her last year at home. Next year she'll go to Kindergarten every day. I want to take the girls to story time and do the pre-school reading program and go to the park and make play dough like I did with the older kids. If I don't change my time commitments these years are going to slip away.

My family is my most important ministry and I don't want to let anything get in the way of that. But things do get in the way. All the time. There are some things that are easy to weed out. Things I don't care about, don't enjoy or do just to please others. I'm getting better at saying no in those situations.

But sometimes I feel like it's a cop out. Am I hiding behind motherhood? I'm needed to serve at church. I enjoy sitting at my table talking about the Bible. Maybe I am just being selfish.

The thing is that there are other people that can lead girl scouts and host Bible study and teach Sunday school. If there isn't anyone and it doesn't happen, the world will go on. But there is no one else that is going to come over and mother my children. Goodness knows I would love it if someone would most days. God uses the family as a means of teaching and nurturing, where kids can experience unconditional love and acceptance. It's the primary place they will learn about God's love and salvation. It's important to God that I take that job seriously.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

It's not selfish or a cop out to choose my family.

I'm selfish for choosing the needs of others over theirs. I'm selfish for seeking my own glory instead of God's. I'm a cop out for not trusting in Christ for the contentment I need.

Even though I will have commitments to fulfill this year, I'm going to choose my family. My decisions may not make sense to most. When I am up to my elbows in play dough, they may not even make sense to me. But since my own wisdom has come up short in the past, I'm going to lean on His instead.


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6